PASTOR’S CORNER

            Familyquake
Looking at former vice president Al Gore’s marriage breakdown after 40 years and that of his daughter after 12 years ,one would think there is a familyquake going on. In fact, they are not alone, for there is a lot of breaking up around the country and the world. The eerie of our society sliding into the abyss grips every conscientious heart. Family orienteers are now but certain that many families will never make a touch down because role models have been torpedoed with movies and sports stars, people are becoming spiritually bone-dry, sociologically discriminating, theologically ungodly; with etiquettes cluttered up from analogical to digital 21st century media and children far from a “pierian Spring”. Thus, this keen perusal is unveiled as an urgent wake up call. This screed is not only a reminder and looking glass to heterosexual couples, divorcees, never marrieds, clergy and children who want to refresh their minds with matrimonial essentials, it is also a warhorse to the present $64 question (is marriage worth a thing) that humanity faces.

The euphoria and delusion of enjoying life without a family has flunked many people and germinated many behaviors totally caviled at the raison d’etre of life. The urgent priority of having a family whole , whereby a man and a woman got married and abode till natural death parted them, children grow and graduate from parental custody with whole families, divorce is a forgone story, and the fear to get married is eradicated could be tapped by weeding these few lines with rational eyes.

Though the problems are many, the answers too are available for the listening hearts. What has happened with marriage, or where is it going? From Australia to America, Africa to Europe, men and especially women are deleting their wives or husbands and overtaxing for child support and alimony. Those who venture to other countries through mail bride end up with the same fate of eviction in your very home, even built before she arrived. Marriage is now a luxury for those who can afford it. The degradation of the family is at all levels. The parents sow, the children water and the society reaps. In the place of stable and lasting marriages, we have contractual, misandrist and live-in relationships.

My friends, families are quaking and the psychological seismographs need immediate overhauling, if not now, in the nearest future. Among every ten couples who marry, eight will divorce. You nod; don’t you? Why this quake?

Parents are all involved in the pursuit of money that they lack even Lilliputian time to build their relationships. Some have two; three jobs that though married, they barely see their partners. After all, the society says infidelity is extra marital affairs and so managing with a coworker and cuckolding the partner is not too bad.

The kids have been left to raise themselves. They lack the role models and now turn to the media with appetitive gullibility soaking in the vanities of Hollywood and sports stadiums. In addition, they have peer pressure and family adjustment due to failed parental responsibility. They then inherit poor conflict management from parents. For those thrown into foster cares or the children services could be summed up to; jumping from the frying pan into the fire. The children who end up with one of the parents, surrender when the difficulty of adapting to the stepfamily circles quickly englobes them. It would seem a mine is in an oil well. Here they have to see different women and men coming into the house, internet and videogames replacing parental tutelage. In school, violence, crime, prostitution, drugs, fake grades and promotion all beckon with both arms. The helpless child has no one to turn to. Marriages are quaking, and the family can no longer survive. The mother that ignores the child's cry will never have a peaceful sleep.

The society says good is evil and evil is good, replacing spirituality with vain secularist humanism. Those who turn to religion are lured to the tertiary sermons of millions that enrich the churches and mosques. On the other hand, we hear empty words with no morals, simony and cultism invading the minds of the virgins.

Finally, the marriage crumbles like a sand castle, and the courts register another statistics. Those who wanted to avoid the financial cost of divorce, find themselves trading the very stocks. Then, the name single mom and single dad pitch up into a sorrowful pity party singsong. Looking at the attorney fees, child support, alimony, child visitation procedures, joint custody, debt after divorce and a lot more, one has to wonder whether divorce was even a better solution. Sometimes running away from the rain may land you into a pool of water. Divorce is not the solution to an unhappy marriage, but patience, perseverance, self-control and love are. Messed up parents have raised up messed up kids and the messed up kids are giving back messed up grandkids to the grandparents. The society is in topsy-turvy. This is called Familyquake. Ah ha!

Except we return to the value of the family, no society will experience the bliss of olden days of marriage. Make no mistake, plastic surgery may repair a damaged face, but a plastic smile will not do for a miserable life. No matter how we laugh and smile as a family, no amount of comedy, “fun”, luxury and leisure will soothe our broken spirits within. In the middle of the night, in solitude, we are quaking of loneliness and vanity. Only those who live by the river can hear the crab coughing. Yes, real bad! You smile; don’t you? We must come back to the values of the family, if we want the world to be a better place. When we marry, we must and should stay married. That is what God commanded. This breaking and retying is a recipe for disaster for the coming generation because no society will neglect family values and still stay happy. If you want to stay happy then don’t despise family values. Do you still want to read? Your gate fee ends here; I am sorry!!!

Until then, enjoy your family.

Prince & PA Hamilton Ayuk

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