Saturday, January 14, 2017

Confronting Bad Behavior

I began writing this lesson yesterday, but I mistakenly deleted it. This video is an old odd video for this lesson, but the lesson of confronting bad behavior is timeless. You see, you must confront bad behavior with facts. Those who are reading know that you cannot please everybody. The oddest thing at times is to see people who are trying to lecture someone when they know nothing. If you do not know something, you should ask someone who knows, and he or she will tell or teach you. I will give you two anecdotes before giving you the lessons.
A neighboring teacher asked me to help her sign up a student on their login. I went to the library, got the directions and gave it to them. I asked the student to try it. Upon clicking the page, it was the picture of Trump which came up, and the student exclaimed, “I hate this man. He is a racist!” Hatred is hatred, no matter who you hate, so I asked her how. She said, “Just because.” That was all she had. Immediately, another teacher jumped in and took over the student’s viewpoint. That was great. I commended them all, and I advised the student to always have a reason when they are making such a statement. It is like when students sometimes tell me that they hate Christians, or when they say that they cannot stand Mormons. In most cases, most of them have no arguments.
Another day I had a student who came to class and began to disparage a teacher. His mates were asking him where the teacher was and what she did, and he gave them her name and room number. I asked him why he did not like her. He said that she is forceful and pushy with her religious and health opinions. I asked him why he was asking her about religion, and he said that because sometimes she is like Mormon or something. I told him that he was making a mistake by only being fastidious because I talk with her daily, and I am learning a lot. Her kids have never taken any vaccination, yet they are very healthy. She herself is never sick, but you have always been sick. If I were you, she is the type of person you should be talking to because she has something you don’t have. Each time I talk with her, I learn something very new that I go home and try it.  You could do same. Then after you try it and it does not work, you can come and disprove her. That is what education is all about.
His mates told him to reign on her and not let her tell him stupid stuff. They asked him why he had not put her in her place. I just allowed the conversation to flow as if I was not hearing. They kept talking and then he told them that he was going to put her in her place tomorrow.
The teacher had already told me that the student likes to ask her about religion and what she was drinking because she drinks a lot of tea. I told her that as a teacher, you are there to educate him. You should give him answers on what he asks because a teacher is a guide.
The next day he came back and began the same conversation. His friends and I asked him if he then debated with her. He told us that that he did. Then he continued to disparage her with all sorts of adjectives, up to calling her  "a cunt". I had two alternatives: rebuke him and correct the behavior immediately or go with the popular way of writing him up for using a bad language in class and disrespect to a teacher. I intervened with the former.
I said to him, “Son, you should never ever come and speak against a teacher in this class. You can go to the administrator, counselor or psychologist, but I don’t want you to come here and talk evil of the woman you chat and laugh with. How many times have I met you guys talking and laughing? That is wrong! It is like eating with someone and stabbing them on the back. Do you do the same thing with me? Does she know you call her a ‘Cunt’?” He did immediately apologize for using the word though! He tried to swear that he did not speak evil of me on my back because “You are so cool.” I then asked the class if they felt that it was good to laugh with someone in their face and talk evil of them behind their back. All of them said that it was not good. Most of them said that they hated two faced people. I then told him that he had to apologize to that lady. Another student too chimed in and told him that it was wrong. 
Later he asked for permission to use the restroom. I continued the class and then he came back. At the end of the day, the teacher told me, “You cannot imagine, yesterday this student came and spoke so rudely to me, and today he came back and apologized. He always argues with me each time I am teaching or even when we are playing games as a class." I laughed and told him that I showed him that his actions were bad. She said to me, “That was nice of you.” Since that day, the young man has been polite and friendlier to her.
You see, our kids need those conversations. I used to keep those letters where kids tell me, “You made me to believe in myself. You gave me the self-confidence I have now.” Even if it means just saying something good to a student.  I told a student that he would be a good musician, and now he is constantly playing music that he brings to me to appreciate. You never know where his star will shine. You tell a student you are fit to be a model, and then she starts to feel very confident about herself. How many of us say something nice to people every day?
It is not just when we are at work that we should say nice things to people. We should say nice things to people on the internet, in the shops and on the road. We have a society now that encourages people to be torn apart behind their backs, so we have suicide, drug addiction and depression going up. These ills affect everybody; indirectly or directly. A journalist said the other day that “people walk now like zombies; they don’t talk to anyone. They smile with their lips closed and nod their heads as if they only speak sign languages.”  While we are nice to people, we should learn how to confront bad behavior head on with moral virtues. It works more than those threats wen make about writing kids up.

Until then, it is important to confront bad behavior immediately.

St Arrey of Ntenako
“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable." (I Cor 15:19). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Hamilton Ayuk. Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

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