Sunday, June 7, 2015

When Can Consensual Sex Become Rape? You must be 18 to read this post.

video
This video belongs to Emma Sulkowicz; I am using it mainly for educational purposes only. 

This video is a reenactment of events from a young college student called Emma Sulkowicz who alleged that she was raped. She even requested that her alleged rapist be expelled from school. The university and police cleared the young man of rape, so she took her case to the court of public opinion by carrying her mattress everywhere she went on campus. To amplify her hurt, she has produced this video as a work of art. The video shows consented sex as both of them mutually agreed to have sex. En media res, her partner began to inflict pain on her. He slapped her, she felt some discomfort, but she asked him to slap her more, as if to confirm that the American woman likes to be abused. They finish, and the man picks his clothes and hurried left the room. She will later file rape accusations months after. My task is to show whether rape occurred in this video or not. Does rape occur immediately the woman pulls off the consent  or Does the consent cover the man further a bit than the time it was pulled off? I will analyse only the video and make logical arguments. 
              I disagree with those who say that her work is not art. Art is the expression of creative skills, and her work fulfills those conditions. However, Sulkowicz’s art failed to convey her message. If this is what happened between them, then the young man is right to sue all parties involved as he did.
              Although she says that her work is descriptive, I think that it is prescriptive because she said, “Do not watch this video if your motives would upset me, my desires are unclear to you, or my nuances are indecipherable.” She says that her motive is “to change the world.” I doubt that she will change the world when she thinks everyone must look at a work of art in her eyeglasses. Those who changed the world like Marx, Darwin, Freud, Jesus and Mandela allowed people to think freely.  In this video,”Ceci N’est Pas Un Viol” by Emma Sulkowicz, I disagree that rape occurred; I believe that violent sex took place. There are people who have more violent consul sex than what we see in this video. There are several reasons for my position. They call it Sadomaso sex. Therefore, simply because sex is violent does not make it rape. 
                 Firstly, she never once gave a direct order for the  partner to stop having sex with her and to get off her. Her “stop” could mean stop that particular act because she never once said, “Get off me. I don’t want sex anymore!” The command to stop must be explicit and unambiguous. When he slapped her, she asked him to slap her more, confirming she liked the violent act. That again is some women! It would seem the love from their man must be garnished with some abuse for it to be complete. Check here!   
             Secondly, her posture did not conjure rape. Her hands were down and freely positioned as she did not pose any resistance. This was not a habitual rape; it was an impromptu rape; thus, resistance would have been ferocious as in all impromptu rapes.
              The scene below is described in Fox 13 Salt Lake City during a lawsuit in which a prison instructor was raped by an inmate. You will realize first the shriek before giving up. In a habitual rape situation, the subsequent paragraph describes the typical situation. The rape victim stops fighting, just hoping to survive and tell their story one day. It reads, "the teacher screamed and 'began to bleed profusely,' but Harvey 'was stronger and he choked her and slammed her head in the floor multiple times,' the lawsuit said. The teacher 'stopped fighting hoping to simply survive,' and then the inmate raped her, the suit said.”  In a habitual rape, the victim has grown tired of resisting because there is nothing she or he could do about it anymore. I just put men there for gender formalities only because men will like to be raped.  
                Thirdly, her voice does not portray any danger. Even her command to stop does not show any danger; it rather shows her relaxed. Her sex partner stopped momentarily from being violent, and she willingly changed her position to sideways. She should have been explicit in her command, “get off me, I don't have to have sex any more” for him to stop. Language is so ambiguous that at times, it tends to set ablaze the very fire it was trying to quench. 
               There are times when I have said to my friend who is telling me a very funny story, “You are killing me!” That does not mean that she is killing me; I am merely saying that her story is making me to laugh out my lungs. I have had people tell me, “stop it right there,” when I am narrating my shit story. Initially, I will stop because methought they did not like the story, but they will adjure me to finish the story. They actually want me to continue telling them the story. Her stop could simply mean, "continue doing what you are doing because it makes me feel very good." 
               Fourthly, she was in a dormitory where there are other students, so it would have been easier for people to come to her help had she cried rape. In addition, after the man ejaculated, he sat a little bit on the bed before gathering his clothes to leave. The fact that the man left with his clothes in his hands does not mean that he was running away. Perhaps that was the only set of clothes he had, so he did not want to wear them over his sexcapade sweat. I don't think a rapist will sit for some time before running away from his rape victim. They might hang around to clean their victim and crime scene up to conceal evidence as we see in Forensic Files, but they do not just sit as a relaxing moment. Furthermore, I am not a rape profiler, but I do know that rapists don't even leave the crime scene naked, except if they came naked.  You can read Paul's complaint here
               Some people say that consent in sex is like drinking tea. If someone says, “I don’t want to drink anymore, you do not force them to drink.” This analogy is too weak. In tea drinking, the individual does not move from response cycle to response cycle, so the volition to stop is prompt. Tea drinking is instead like someone opening their tap to fetch water; they can stop at anytime. On the contrary, sex is like two people who decided to skydive with the man on the woman's back. In skydiving; the man can only stop when they land. In sex, one's emotions move across four response cycles: excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. Sex is like skydiving; once you shoot, you have to land. Can you ask an individual who just dove out of the plane to come back into the plane? That is the same emotional movement that those involved in sex go through. That is why until attainment of orgasm, the individual does not feel at peace. You cannot ask anyone who just dove out of the plane to come back into the plane. Consequently, you should not go skydiving if you do not want to land. 
               Furthermore, this stage takes a few seconds to complete, depending on the type of O you are having.  Since the big O comes with the control of the muscles that get a bit tighten, you will be unable to obey her for those seconds. It is during those seconds that we talk of overlap. Once your muscles get back, you will rush and even leap faster and higher than you could have done had you not gone through the big O.  Therefore, once your partner changes her mind, you have a time differential to comply. The tea analogy does not present that time differential. Therein lies its weakness. Now, that is disadvantage of consent!
                 Moreso, the time span between the order to stop and the overlapping actions of the response cycles during coitus could be like 5 seconds or more, depending on the cycle and per the tea analogy, rape has already occurred. There is an overlapping time span between the time of the order and the completion of the action depending on the response cycle. If you order someone to stop during foreplay, they can obey immediately. If they don’t obey immediately, then they have committed rape. Nevertheless, if you explicitly order them to stop during penetration, it could take about 5 seconds before they stop. If you ordered them to stop during orgasm, it could take 10 seconds or more. According to the tea analogy, that can be considered rape; meanwhile, at the time of the command, there was nothing they could do. No one can obey an order instantaneously when they are ejaculating. At that moment sex may have its weaknesses too. The individual will have to go through his/her ejaculation first before obeying that order. That is not rape because it is still during the overlapping period of the consent. This order could be promptly obeyed during foreplay but not during sexual intercourse. If the order is not obeyed after the overlapping period, then we can talk of rape because the individual had the ability to restrain themselves, but they deliberately refused to do so. Therefore, rather than go through this, you should select well who you go to bed with.
              Furthermore, after the sex partner left, she did not simulate even calling the police to report her case. There are real rape victims because I have broken a door to save one, so this cheapens the cause of rape. In my days as a church leader and teacher, I have also heard horrid tales of rape victims, but Emma's case is not one of them. I say this with a lot of pity for her because I feel bad for her. Our people say, "The mouth that has once tasted the taste of milk cannot forget the taste of it." You will realize that Paul is from Germany, and Emma is from the US. American women always have better treatment from foreign men than their own men; that is why she cannot let Paul just go like that, after he tasted her theobroma cacao. She is merely fighting for it the wrong way.  
             The young man’s violent sex action of slapping her is a byproduct of feminism. The feminists propagated pornography as art, and therein is where young people learn this deviant sex fantasy where they inflict pain on their women. They treat their women like objects. Immediately after ejaculation, he relaxed a bit and abandoned the poor girl on the bed. He went away as if his intention was merely sex and not a relationship. Ejaculation is not the end of sex. It is a cooling off period. Caressing the woman after sex brings her more joy just as going into her. Instead she became to him like a leper. William Congreve once said, "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."
              Notwithstanding, there are certain sex acts that people must seek permission from their partners before engaging in them. Love does not and should not bring pain. You cannot say that you are giving love to someone when she is in pain. Love is the bond in spirit that is physically administered in friendship. Friends don't hurt each each other. There is a special curse that goes with treating people badly. This is not religion; it is just the way it is! You will never be happy!
             People should also remember that false rape accusations are as hurtful as the rapes themselves. Their  punishments should be commensurate or proportionate to the rape sentence that would have been inflicted on the rapist. In other words, if a woman accuses a man falsely of rape, they should give her the same sentence they would have given the man had he been found guilty; otherwise, some people would think they have a monopoly to cry rape, whenever they are disappointed by a man or woman. 
             Nonetheless, people should be kind to Emma because she believes that she has been raped. If no sympathy is shown her, she may end up harming herself psychologically or physically just to show how distraught she feels about the denial. Do not forget that she may be your own sister or daughter too. The truth is that, she is going through some sort of pain, so we should learn to support those who are hurting in our midst. While academically and philosophically we may disagree with her, it is important not to shame her. People should let her vent out her frustration until she finds a better lover and the fame she craves. Suffer that I narrate two anecdotes of people who believed that they were suffering harm when there was none.
A few years back in Mendong, Yaounde, a prayer cell member invited me to her house to pray for her. She said that she had evil spirits in her whole house which cried, “squick, squick, squick.” When I arrived, she showed me things to pray in her house. I laid my hands on the things, and then she moved from things to her body. Then she asked me to lay my hands on her head. I did. She asked me to lay my hands on her breasts, and I refused. She went into her room and brought an underwear she wanted me to lay my hands on. She said that there are demons, even in her underwear. That too I did not touch. I told her to just hold it herself and let me pray. The next day, she told me that I did not finish my job. You and I can attest that although she believed that there were evil spirits, there were none in her house. If there was any, it was in her who was trying to bring down her leader, but there is nothing you would have told her, and she will listen!
In Atlanta, Georgia, a church member called Ms. Williams invited the senior pastor to pray for her house that she had evil spirits quirking. When the pastor arrived, he found out that it was the smoke detector that was quirking. The battery was kaput. Before the pastor went there, there was nothing that could convince Ms. Williams that her house was not haunted. 
Therefore, while the young woman believes that rape has occurred, the facts in this work of art tell a different tale. This is no more her word against his word because the video becomes the real evidence for all to appreciate. The woman cannot voluntarily participate in a tryst and raise an alarm later as rape because the man ended up treating her like a leper. If anyone will call this video rape, then almost all sex is rape! This will put 3/4 of Americans (male and female) in jail. However, to keep oneself on the safe side, you should stop immediately to the best of  your ability once your partner asks you to stop, and you should always get a written affirmative consent before you have sex. You smile; don't you? Rape is no joke at all; whether you are the victim or falsely accused, talk less of being the rapist himself/herself.  

Until then, Ceci n’est pas vraiment un viol!

St Arrey of Ntenako.
Copyright © 

If you like my article, please make  a Paypal donation. Thanks! 

“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable." (I Cor 15:19). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Hamilton Ayuk. Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

The Secrets of Leadership.

The secrets of leadership. You know, most people want to be leaders, but very few are really leaders. Leadership is a very simple phen...