Saturday, September 20, 2014

Domestic Violence: A Testament of Familyquakes.

Look, I feel very sorry for American women. Everyday they are in the news because they are now the punching bags of their men. I have said it before, and I will say it again; American men do not know how to treat their women. Before you get mad that it is happening in other corners of the globe, you should ask yourself if those places have ever tried to teach you how to live. America has been the one trying to serve as a moral compass, but she always fails when the roll is called up. In addition, one would expect that rate of barbarism in an uncivilized society and not in a First World. What type of education are these people getting? On September 1, 2014, the Arizona daily Star reported that, “San Francisco 49ers defensive tackle Ray McDonald was arrested early Sunday on felony domestic violence charges...”[1] On September 17, CNN reported that, “Arizona Cardinals backup running back Jonathan Dwyer was arrested in connection with domestic abuse allegations, Phoenix police said Wednesday night.”[2]I am not going to make you depressed this morning, but if you will want to drink your own poison, you can read the news for these past seven days. The picture on domestic violence is graphic and pathetic! It is a testament of a familyquake
Despite the fact that domestic violence is in the news every day and the usual unison of, “kill him, bury him under the sea, castrate him,” it is increasing. That means, lex tellionis does not reform; it only deforms and adds more fuel into the fire. Just yesterday I witnessed one myself as the lady jumped out weeping. I asked her if she needed my help, but she ignored me, and the man was calling her honey. What a messed up culture! They reminded me of the Beti tribe in Cameroon where if the man does not beat the woman, she will say that he does not love her. Nonetheless, why is domestic violence instead increasing? There is never a day now that you don’t read about domestic abuse. 
There is an African proverb that says that, "If a man does not find out what killed his father, that same thing will kill him too."  Americans refuse to consult history for reminders. There is a reason the Bible says, “Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen…..”[3] Where did all this begin that young people (both male and female) are too angry and violent these days? A few weeks ago I was visiting a school and a young man came to share with me how my speech had transformed him. He said, “The last time you were here, I used to be very angry, but I have learnt to control myself.” When he told me that he used to be very angry, I asked him why. He told me that he had a lot of things going on, especially the fact that he has been growing up without seeing his dad. His mother’s boyfriend is not doing better as they are always fighting. He feels like his father did a great evil to him because he should have come and taken him out of that place. Therefore, one major reason of domestic violence is the absence of a male figure in homes. [4]
The increase in divorce rates is not doing us justice too. Most kids do not recover from divorces even if their parents do. The Institute for Marriage and Public Policy (iMAPP) concluded that, “Teens and adults raised in single-parent families are at increased risk of committing crimes.”[5] It does not mean that marriage families do not raise those opportunities; it simply means that single families are better breeding grounds for angry and violent behaviors, and domestic violence is one of them. ABC News reports, “Vice President Joe Biden said Friday the nation needs to bring young men into the struggle against domestic violence by encouraging them to stand against the crime on college campuses.”[6] The only problem is that the majority of these young men are angry themselves. They should be taught on how to treat people. This has nothing to do with religion as some church men treat their wives worst. Teach them to treat people right! 
The third one is lack of proper role models. The society cherishes materialism over virtue; after all, the end justifies the means. They are all copycats of the violent culture. Take for example, a video that has gone viral is the video of a white male who seizes the microphone from a news anchor and said that, “fuck her right in the pussy.”[7] Would a decent culture enjoy such a video? The actor and the distributor would be ashamed in a normal and virtuous society. There is lack of role models and mentors. The guy is hailed as a hero! I have often told my students that I want them to look at me as their role model. That has contributed to my behavior because I have to set a better example. 
The violent women who exploit the weakness and one sidedness of the law are to blame too. It is not as if the women do not commit domestic violence; they do as you can ask Hope Solo.[8] However, the men are more the culprits in this crime because their force is usually disproportionate to the offence of the girlfriend or wife. You see, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” Most of the women in domestic abuse cases contributed in them because they struck the man first or nagged him all day long that he just exploded. Just as the woman in this video said, “If  a woman hits a man, she should expect to be hit back.[9]
Nonetheless, violence, whether physical or verbal is the weapon of the weak communicator. Young people are not taught to win their discussions by using their intellect. If someone holds a contrary view to theirs, they vacate the conversation or resort to ad hominems. Their verbal violent clichĂ© is usually, “fuck you!” Physical violence will subsequently follow next. Look, if you have a point, why don’t you make it? That questions the type of education we are receiving nowadays. It is one of relativism; everybody is right, and no one is wrong. Children must be taught that we know in part; therefore, we should not get angry if someone disagrees with us. Otherwise, we are saying that we are infallible, so we know it all. Even if we killed all the men on earth, there will still be domestic violence as you have seen it in lesbian households. Consequently, the solution is not in trying to deform the male perpetrators; the key is in reforming them. Draconian measures have never reformed any society; they have kept it like a boiling cauldron that explodes with the least opportunity. Therefore, we must work to keep long lasting and happy marriages so our boys can grow with their fathers at home, be the right role models, teach our daughters to curb aggressive tendencies and finally develop an equitable society that seeks to reform rather than deform.

Until then, I just wish everyone a happy life on earth. 

 St Arrey of Ntenako. 







[1] "NFL Notes: 49er Arrested on Domestic Violence Charge." Arizona Daily Star. N.p., 01 Sept. 2014. Web. 20 Sept. 2014.
[2] Almasy, Steve, AnneClaire Stapleton, and Shane Deitert. "Arizona Cardinals Player Arrested on Domestic Violence Allegations." CNN. Cable News Network, 01 Jan. 1970. Web. 20 Sept. 2014.
[3] "Revelation 2:5 Consider How Far You Have Fallen! Repent and Do the Things You Did at First. If You Do Not Repent, I Will Come to You and Remove Your Lampstand from Its Place." Revelation 2:5 Consider How Far You Have Fallen! Repent and Do the Things You Did at First. If You Do Not Repent, I Will Come to You and Remove Your Lampstand from Its Place. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Sept. 2014.
[4] "Children Benefit from Two-Parent Families." Familiescom. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Sept. 2014.
[5] Institute For Marriage And Public Policy. Can Married Parents Prevent Crime? Recent Research on Family Structure and Delinquency 2000-2005 (n.d.): n. pag. Web.
[6] Press, Ken Thomas Associated. "Biden: Young Men Need to Stand Against Violence." ABC News. ABC News Network, n.d. Web. 20 Sept. 2014.
[7] "All 3 " Fuck Her Right In The Pussy " Videos." YouTube. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Sept. 2014.
[8] Sports, Scott Gleeson. "Hope Solo Arrested on Domestic Violence Charge."USA Today. Gannett, 22 June 2014. Web. 20 Sept. 2014.
[9] "Ravens Fans Continue to Support Rice." YouTube. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Sept. 2014.

“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

Monday, September 8, 2014

Roger Goodell's NFL and the Ravens' Miscarriage of Justice.


This is not a plaidorie for the devil or like they often say, “Being the devil’s advocate” because there is no devil here. I am just afraid that we are becoming very rancorous and spiteful as a society. We have left the Mosaic Era, yet we enjoy lex telionis. We are becoming specialists of deformation rather than reformation. It is beyond any debate that Ray Rice did a very bad thing in beating up his wife. He brought shame to himself and his family! The manner thereof is inconsequential because whether it was brutal or lightly, he should not have done it. It is an unacceptable behavior. ‎However, the NFL's and Raven's decisions are legally, socially and morally untenable. Legally, it will be breaking the double jeopardy, sociologically, the NFL overburdens Ray Rice' s family to function as a family because he will need to feed the very wife they are seeking to protect, and morally, once forgiven, you are free indeed!

I know that those of you who know me will say that we disagree with “this your thing of saying that we should let it go.” This time though, I want us to look at it as a society and see if we are treating each other fairly. Do unto others what you want them do unto you. Ray Rice is being unfairly treated here! Ray Rice had already been punished with a two game suspension. By suspending him a second time, the NFL and Ravens are violating the Double Jeopardy Rule. It is defined as, “The act of prosecuting a defendant a second time for an offense for which he has already been tried.”[1] At the same time, it is a violation of his Fifth Amendment Right. 

The government did not charge him; they assigned some form of community labor. That is not his problem; it is the burden the society has to bear for rashness! It is like a county sending you a letter that your traffic ticket was not well adjudicated because when they decided the first time, they did not have all the information. Take time and read well the Double Jeopardy rule and the 5 policies that underpin it. Double jeopardy extends to every spectrum of crime and punishment. 

Isn't Ray Rice supposed to cater for his wife? How is he going to do that if you stop him from doing what he does best? Whether they saw it or not is immaterial. If they did not see it, then due process was violated because it will mean that they judged him on hearsay. Secondly, he has already served the sentence. They should blame themselves for the imprudence. They should have done a thorough investigation before disciplining him if they were really serious because only part of the video was shown to the public initially. It is not like there were two videos. It is one and the same video that they edited. Rice will be covered by Double Jeopardy rule and the extreme hardship law. His wife could turn and sue the NFL and Ravens for causing her the hardship too. Morally, once forgiven, you are forgiven. If your sins are paid for, they are paid. Remember, we are not discussing on the gravity of the offense because every normal human being knows it is despicable.

Goodell’s argument that they were not privy to the facts when they disciplined him the first time is still no excuse because they should have then waited until they had all the facts. They should not punish Ray Rice for their recklessness. The Bible says, “He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him (Prov 18:13).”It is late now to change their decision. They should have done that before in their first decision. I don't understand their rashness. Someone beats his wife and you give him only two games suspension; whether you see the video or not? He should have been suspended for two years initially! I was against the 2 games suspension. However, after he served it, it is immoral to bring another suspension or decision for the same offense. The man served his time, so he should be left alone. I don't even like the Ravens and his behavior, but I am looking at the concept of equity. It is the noble thing to do to bring him back. I hate it when hypocrites who do other more egregious things raise their voices so loud to condemn others. The young man made a mistake, and he paid the price. Unfortunately, people still want to destroy him. We should be a society that reforms and not one that deforms. I said earlier that the decisions from NFL and The Ravens will overburden the Rice family. His wife's interjection ascertains that.


Secondly, the jurisprudence on criminal law is founded on due process. You cannot pass judgment on anyone without due process. If they did not see the video, then they also violated the woman’s rights. It is inconceivable that the same question that was asked in the first century is the same we are trying to answer in the 21st century. Nicodemus asked the Sanhedrin, “Doth our law judge any man, before it hear him, and know what he doeth (Jn 7:51)?” Now I ask you, “Does our law judge a man before hearing from him and know what he did?" The NFL should blame itself for the thoughtlessness. It should have done proper investigation before punishing him. More so, the law is not retroactive.  

 Sociologically, there are no diminished expectations when Ray Rice married his then fiancĂ©e. If she felt that she was in danger, she would not have married him. By sacking and suspending him indefinitely, they fail to uphold the uberrima fides of the marriage. This will cause them hardship and even extreme hardship because he will not be able to provide for his wife again. Thus the theory of extreme hardship is not a matter of expediency. Matter of Gutierrez-Lopez, 21 I&N Dec. 479 (BIA 1996).
After all “Any hardship to a qualifying spouse must always be considered. See Watkins v. INS, 63 F.3d 844 (9th Cir. 1995). The extreme hardship Ray Rice will undergo is not related to the income of the wife because she makes very little money to maintain the lifestyle that the Husband has accustomed her. His suspension defeats the purpose of marriage and puts asunder what God has joined together; thereby, depriving Ray Rice of the opportunity and freedom to enjoy his marriage. This will even be a violation of his 14th Amendment.

The doctrine of extreme hardship does not end with financial hardships. It encompasses anything that will inflict pain and suffering on the spouse or the respondent. “In short, as we have often stated, extreme hardship is not a definable term of fixed and inflexible meaning, and the elements to establish extreme hardship are dependent upon the facts and circumstances of each case.”
In the Matter of Hwang, 10 I&N Dec. 448, 45 1 (BIA 1964), it was asserted that  Extreme hardship is "not a definable term of fixed and inflexible content or meaning," but "necessarily depends upon the facts and circumstances peculiar to each case." The peculiarity is that Ray Rice needs this job to feed his wife because he knows only how to play football as his numbers speak for themselves.You may like to read from his wife endorsing the theory of extreme hardship
Morally: the decision is ungodly. Even when the people caught the woman in flagrant adultery, Jesus still let her go. Ray Rice has even paid his debt with his suspension. Those who think that they are without fault should seek to reform and not to deform, to restore and not to destroy. Many people advocating for Ray Rice’s pound of flesh may have spilled more blood than him. It is not a time to destroy the young man; it is a time to build him up to a better person.

Behold the source of the devilry, the society! We start by having the right priorities. I don't understand why entertainers earn more than teachers, doctors, lawyers, engineers etc. As much as I hate the pedestal that the society has placed these entertainers, the onus is still not with them. Worst still, Ray Rice is playing for a team I don't even like, but that will be injustice to make him pay twice for the same offense. I have to separate my personal bias from equity. Ray is not special, so you should not think that his football abilities are at play here. Let us remove the name of Ray Rice and use Mr. Nobody. Mr. Nobody did a terrible thing beating his wife. We all agree. His employers decided that it merited a two day work suspension. We all say, "nay, that is too lenient," yet they did not revise it. He served his time and went back to work. Then a harridan shows up in the market with a video of the same incident where Mr. Nobody was beating his wife. The company cannot come back to change their initial decision. That is what I am saying.

Therefore, I urge the NFL and the Ravens to reinstate him because he will be suffering twice for a crime he has already paid the price. In addition, the wife is the loser here than him. They should write down a clear policy with domestic abuse.

Until then, I strongly condemn NFL's and Raven’s decisions.

St Arrey of Ntenako




[1] "Double+jeopardy." The Free Dictionary. Farlex, n.d. Web. 08 Sept. 2014.

“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Simone Battle’s Suicide: A Byproduct of Utilitarianism.



Simone Battle, the 25 year old X Factor star who was a member of the G.R.L Band killed herself by hanging in her closet on Friday morning in Los Angeles, in a surprised move that stunned her father and well-wishers. She was such a talented young woman with a lot of hope. Why would a promising young woman like Simone kill herself at a time when everyone thought that she had the world under her feet? Without a doubt, she is a byproduct of the emptiness of the American society that has placed emphasis on materialism rather than virtues. We are building a society whose education targets the mind but lacks a heart.
February 2014, Roee Grutman, a Newton South High School junior committed suicide.[1] Again it was a surprise to his family. There is such a huge distance amongst relatives that it is possible for things to happen in one’s life without the family being aware. The fabric of family cohesion has been shattered in their adolescent days.
In March 2013, Tyler Nichols (13 years old) of Davidson Middle School in Southgate committed suicide early morning in his own very school building.[2]
In May 2014, 17 year-old Omotayo Adeoye of The High School for Math, Science and Engineering in Convent, New York committed suicide by jumping into the Hudson River after she was humiliated for cheating in a German exam.[3] If teachers will seek to attain the hearts of the kids too rather than only the mind, they will understand why they behave a certain way. It does not mean they are diluting the standards because the same methods reduced truancy and enhanced test scores in my classrooms. 
On August 21, 2014, “Riley Matthew Moscatel, a 17-year-old transgender youth”[4] committed suicide by jumping into the railway tracks into an oncoming train, and he died. Healthy Children.org wrote that, “In fact, suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15- to 24-year-olds.[5] It is the second among middle and high school age groups (12-18).[6]
If you remember, in June of this year, two 12 year-olds from Wisconsin stabbed their friend 19 times to please the wicked and fictional charter called Slender Man.[7] Charles Dickens in Hard Times reminded the people of the Victorian Era that education must have two components: the mind and the heart. Just today, a 14 year old girl set her house on fire to obey the orders of Slender Man.[8] In the absence of reality, the losers will be contented with shadows. The young people nowadays long for role models to emulate, but they have none. The good teachers are being replaced by those with no moral fibers. Failing schools keep perfecting their failing programs as though a Deuse Ex Machina will one day bring them success. 
Suicide is not a side show; it is now an American epidemic. It is just so sad when you are just about to know a young woman only to hear that she committed suicide. The Buffalo News wrote, “Suicide is an American epidemic. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicides are rising – up to 38,000 last year. That’s more than deaths from motor vehicle accidents.”[9] One thing is very clear; a happy person does not commit suicide! The society has placed utilitarianism in a high place that the people find it difficult to satisfy their worship. We are forming a very empty society where things rather than people matter most. The society is so artificial that colleagues do not even make pleasantries with each other for fear of harassment. No deep connections at work or in school. How then will anyone know what the other person is going through? 
Proper teaching cannot exclude current events, no matter the class because that will be the only way kids get more prepared with the Zeigeist. We live in a nation with every means to educate people, but we fail to do so because we are bound by laws and policies that instead want to make human beings as robots. If you are not close to your coworker, relative, student etc, they will not share with you what they are going through. You see single women at work, in school and in church all filling applications on dating sites, not because they do not see men, but it is simply because the society has made everyone a robot and everyone is afraid of harassment.
Just of recent, Robin Williams committed suicide due to depression. It is clear that suicide rates have gone up due to depression and anxiety.[10] We have taken it to be normal to commit suicide, after all, it is the individual’s right to commit suicide. The only problem is that is has a contagion effect as it serves as a copycat to most young people. The CDC once wrote, “All parties should understand that a scientific basis exists for concern that news coverage of suicide may contribute to the causation of suicide.”[11] Despite the well-wishes of people, there is something that many forget; these people who committed suicide did not have anyone they could trust. They did not have anyone they thought could help them, so suicide becomes their only spider hole. Perhaps we should try making our communities like little villages where everyone cared for everyone and not a community suffering from the crab syndrome where everyone is trying to sue someone and destroy them. 
VOX says that, “suicides are impulsive and can be prevented at the last minute.[12] This can only happen when people become more important than material things or animals. Utilitarianism has brought an untold solitude that has left human beings like the “Solitary Reaper”, albeit in a group like Simone was. She was a member of a band, yet "no one saw it coming." No one saw it coming because they were not close; otherwise, they would have seen it.  
One time I visited a school and 3 minutes before the bell rang, I called a student and told her that I can feel her pain. “I see that you are struggling to smile, but you are hurting badly within.” I told her. She looked at me and began immediately to sub profusely. It was there that she told me all her problems which I relayed to her counselor. The counselor told me that she has never told any of them despite her going through the same issues since 8th grade. That is because she did not see that closeness to be able to pour her heart out. Education should exceed just attaining the mind. Proper education should touch the heart too! How did I know that she was suffering? I went beyond just educating her mind. In educating the whole person in what I call holistic teaching, we will create listening ears and compassionate hearts that give hope to the hopeless. The society must create those listening ears and compassionate hearts or continue the mourning song after the suicide contagion has long passed with the biers of those we so loved dearly.  

Until then, be your neighbor’s keeper!

St Arrey of Ntenako.






[1] "Newton Reels from Mourns Third Teen Suicide of School Year - The Boston Globe." BostonGlobe.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 07 Sept. 2014.
[2] "Teen Commits Suicide at Middle School in Southgate." - Fox 2 News Headlines. N.p., n.d. Web. 07 Sept. 2014.
[3] "Teen Student Jumps to Death after She's Caught Cheating." New York Post. N.p., n.d. Web. 07 Sept. 2014.
[4] "Philly-Area Trans Teen Commits Suicide on Train Tracks." Advocate.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 07 Sept. 2014.
[5] "Teen Suicide Statistics." HealthyChildren.org. N.p., n.d. Web. 07 Sept. 2014.
[6] "Facts & Stats - The Jason Foundation." The Jason Foundation. N.p., n.d. Web. 07 Sept. 2014.
[7] "Bustle." Bustle. N.p., n.d. Web. 07 Sept. 2014.
[8] ibid
[9] "Suicide Becomes an American Epidemic - The Buffalo News."Www.buffaloNews.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 07 Sept. 2014.
[10] "Boomers Face a Greater Risk of Depression and Suicide." - MarketWatch. N.p., n.d. Web. 07 Sept. 2014.
[11]“Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, n.d. Web. 07 Sept. 2014.
[12] "12 Facts about Depression and Suicide in America." Vox. N.p., n.d. Web. 07 Sept. 2014.


“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

Dance for Jesus and you will never suffer?

Sesekou Arrey-Mbi, the honorable Mfor Ngbe of Atlanta,  This is your son speaking! This reply is in relation o the video above. I kn...