Saturday, August 9, 2014

Jerry Jones: A Victim Of Kiss and Tell Syndrome And A Culture of Betrayals.


Many people have asked me what I thought about Snowden and Manning or Sterling’s girlfriend and now this Jerry Jones Saga, so I will try to state my position in this article. Every time I hear about someone who has come out as a whistleblower, or I hear that there are some leaked pictures, my heart bleeds. It does not bleed because I know any of the victims, but it bleeds because untrustworthiness is a character trait that the Lord hates. There is a teaching technique called “Show and Tell” where teachers or students describe what they have to their students or classmates. In love, they have “Kiss and Tell”. In “Kiss and Tell”, the less famous reveal their sexual exploits with the famous to the media. In this lesson, I will show you why untrustworthiness, albeit a zeitgeist in America is a terrible behavior people should not emulate but which we seem to hold in very high esteem. Who cares who Jerry Jones sleeps with? 
            While “Show and Tell” is not bad, “Kiss and Tell” is very heinous; it shows a lack of trustworthiness. Some people do it for materialistic purposes (Sterling’s girlfriend and Jones strippers), others do it for revenge (revenge porn) or even just posting the medical records of your ex,  some for lack of connection, others want to gain fame (Snowden and Manning), and some are just weak people who can never keep anything secret. Furthermore, there is another level of betrayal that is like “Kiss and Tell” which is revealing secrets from one’s jobsite. Manning and Snowden are included in this list because when you decide to work for someone, you are entering into a relationship that could be likened to a marriage for economic purpose.
Permit that I start with professional situations like whistleblowing at worksites. Let me take the cases of Bradly (Chelsea) Manning and Edward Snowden. Manning leaked military secrets to WikiLeaks which were still classified. Edward Snowden leaked National Security Agency documents to the Guardian and Washington Post. On that day as I watched the TV interview of Snowden, I was saying to myself, “this is so wrong.” There are many ways he should have exposed his displeasure without putting in harm’s way the security of the nation.  What was his motivation? Even in our homes, we do not expose every secret.
When I was growing up, there were times that my parents will speak in another language to keep the secret from us. Here in America, I have seen parents speak in whispers to conceal some information from their child. Why then do we think that the government should not have secrets?
This is why both Manning and Snowden are not heroes to me. They took a job that they knew required them to keep secrets.  They accepted it. If they did not like the nature of the job, they should have left while still being interviewed, or they should have left once they started working there. The worst was for them to leak the secrets to the enemies of the United States. Manning was found guilty and sentenced to 35 years in prison, and Snowden is still living on the run in Russia. If you realize it, I have not mentioned people like Peter Burton and Collen Rowley whose whistleblowing brought more blessing to the country than heartache.  Notwithstanding, I still think that Manning’s sentence is too harsh, and Snowden should be allowed to return home for a probation sentence because there is also a good part in what both Snowden and Manning did.
Now, let me draw your attention to the other part of the untrustworthiness. The "Kiss and Tell" syndrome. That really made me write this article this morning. I am talking here of people, especially women who sleep with men and then run to broadcast it. Why? Where is your dignity, woman? 
I am not condoning adultery; however, when a single woman sleeps with a married man like the case of Tiger Woods where one of his mistresses: Loredana Jolie even wrote a book to brag of her trysts with the golfer, we cannot cheer them up. Where is her dignity? People are even buying and reading the book; thus, they are encouraging adultery. She should have been ashamed to stand out and speak anymore. Hellas, in this country, it is even great achievement to come out with your trysts despite the fact that you could be ruining the other person’s career and livelihood. In some countries, they will stone women like that. 
I am sure you remember what happened to Donald Sterling. As much as what he said was repugnant, it was still his private personal opinion to a doxy. Where is her trustworthiness when she carried the information to Sterling’s enemies? Now we see this Jerry Jones saga. These strippers knew that someone was taking those pictures according to their postures. They knew what they were doing. They may cash something from it, but that is it! They have lost a cash cow because of their hyperopia. It is the same with Sterling’s girlfriend. Her steady source of income will no more be there. Nonetheless, the havoc these untrustworthy behaviors cause their victims is more than the gain the perpetrators benefit. If I ended here without looking at it in the view of the Bible, then I would have failed in my duties because the Bible is a lamp to our feet and a light to our paths.
Solomon advised people that they should not allow kindness and loyalty to leave them because therein lies the source of our favor from God and even good reputation from people (Prov 3:3-4). That is very important. By revealing your trysts with anyone who doesn't want it revealed, you betray them and become cruel to them. There is no doubt that Snowden, Manning, V. Stiviano, Loredana and those strippers in Dallas have damaged their reputations, but the acts of the last two were cruel to their victims. 
Amongst the seven things that the Lord hates, one of them is one who spreads rumors (Prov 6:16-19). Those friends like Linda Tripp (who betrayed Monica Lewinsky), Ginger White (who betrayed Herman Cain) and the friends of the stripers who took the pictures are out to spread rumors. That is something that God really hates. The Bible is very clear on that, “He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy conceals a matter.” (Prov 11:13) Rumors like these jeopardize the lives of their victims. Monica Lewinsky could no more have a public life. Herman Cain dropped out of the presidential race he was leading.  Sterling was forced to sell the Clippers as we see here. Jerry Jones is now a laughingstock. Why do we as a society extol an adulterer who slept with another woman’s husband? These strippers knew that Jerry Jones was a married man. If they had any modicum of morality, they should have avoided him, talk less trying to cash out of it.
One thing we should learn from this is that Christ is coming soon because spreading rumors is one of the signs that he is on his way (Mt 24:10). You should not forget that he that is unfaithful with little things, should not be trusted with bigger things (Luke 16:9-15). No one who became rich from betrayal has ever been happy. The list is long but at least look unto Judas Iscariot. It explains to you why most women who seized properties from their ex-husbands during divorce did not last with the wealth because their husbands acquired them before they came. It is important for everyone to seek to be loyal. "Kiss and Tell" is a very cruel behavior that no one should be proud off. It is an obligation to be trustworthy. Do not seek revenge, you should allow God to deal with it. You should never share your trysts with anyone if you ever want to keep them secret. 

Until then, we must strive to be trustworthy.

St Arrey of Ntenako.


“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

"Do you have family here?"

People always ask me each time I meet a new person, “Do you have family here?” Sometimes, when I meet a white person, he or she always...