Sunday, May 25, 2014

Mass Shootings In America Will Only Increase.

On March 24, 2014, 22-year-old Elliot Oliver Robertson Rodger of Isla Vista shot and killed 7 people and wounded 6 others because he could not deal with women rejecting him. The deadliest American school shooting took place in 2007 when Seung-Hui Cho went on a shooting rampage, killing 32 people at the University of Virginia Tech because women rejected him. Back then, the authorities found a motive. Did that prevent the one we just heard now? In 2012, Adam Lanza killed 20 children and six adults, and the authorities again went into study mode to figure out the motive, so they could prevent future mass shootings. Every time there is a mass shooting, the authorities always jump in to ask the motive. They resemble the, “captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.” (2 Tim 3:6-7).With a motive or no motive, the heart of man is deceitful and desperately wicked. Why is it that a child can steal a cookie but not $2 million? She can see the cookie, but she cannot see 2 millions. If she could see 2 millions and she can carry all at once, she will do that. I always try to place myself in the position of those who have lost loved ones. Should they have lost them now? Why can’t the authorities stop mass shootings despite having seen many? They can learn all they want, but they will never succeed, except they come to the knowledge of truth.  

In April 24, 2014, Christopher Plaskon stabbed Maren Sanchez to death on the hallway of their school: Jonathan Law High School because she refused to be his prom date. One can easily point to that as a motive, yet that is not the leitmotif. It is his inability to accept rejection that caused him to murder. 
We are living in a society where it is insensitive to tell people the truth to their face for fear of hurting their feelings, so many have grown to think that everything must go their way. Many young boys and girls do not know that they can be rejected. Many think that due to their beauty, smartness, opulence and popularity everyone must go with what they say and want. A child who is well brought up will know that men undergo a lot of rejection, no matter their social status. That happens so because it is generally the man who makes the move to woo a woman. If women were making or when they make the first move, they experience as much rejection as their male counterparts. Consequently, the problem here is the inability to deal with rejection and failure.  

On May 3, 2010, Amanda Hess published an article about a fox 5 News report that showed a young woman who was shot on the ankle for refusing to give her phone number to a stranger. Both the victim and assailant contributed to the situation. The woman could have given him the number and then block it or report him for harassment if he persisted in calling her when she had banned him from doing so. Refusing to give him was jeopardizing her life. She did not have to fight that battle! We are neither endorsing the violent nature of the man nor are we approving his behavior. The assailant should have known that a woman has two answers to give him: yes, he hangs around and no, he continues to other women until he finds the one who will accept him. Hellas, we are in a society where rights triumph over common sense.

A few years ago, a male student told me how he approached a female classmate to go to prom with him. She turned him down, but she did not leave it there. She propagated how she turned him down, and the young man was furious. The fault again is on both sides. If you turn a man down, do not make him feel worthless. If a woman turns you down, it is not the end of the world. If parents will sit down and talk with their children, these shootings will greatly reduce.  How then can they benefit from the family when there is a familyquake? Divorce here and divorce there, and no marriage is standing upright anymore. Kids are left to fend for their own tutelage. Complicating matters again is the culture of guns.

I had used the analogy of the kid stealing cookies and was unable to steal 2 million. It is not because she cannot; it is because she does not see the money. What she can easily see are cookies. That is why she steals them! The culture of guns has made killing easier for these young people. We can blame the young man all we want and say how wicked he is, but had he had a good family structure, where kids sit and express their feelings, his parents would have taught him on how to handle rejection. Many young people do not know how to handle rejection. Sometimes, even adults do not know how to handle rejection. Nowadays, we must be politically, religiously and socially correct so that we do not offend others.

One day, I told the students that, "It is important to watch your weight by selecting what you eat and drink and make sure you exercise." A young obese girl stood up and asked me, “Are you calling us fat? If not, why are you telling us about our weight?” Another student said, “He did not say anyone is fat; he is saying that we should not eat what will make us fat.. You all should chill!” If a child at that age already has those itchy ears that make her want to hear only feel-good things, even when she is going into the abyss, then what do you expect when she is in a position of power? Everyone wants to live their lives at the expense of others. Such a child is not ready to deal with rejection.

The young people are not taught at home on how to approach life’s trials, failures and disappointments. That is why suicide is increasing amongst them today. They are also not prepared in school as many schools think that everything towards building character is religion. Many kids lack a favorable self-esteem. They do not know how to deal with rejection.

A boy asked me one day in private if I had ever been rejected by a girl. I told him that I will not answer him in private. I will like for him to ask the question in front of the whole class. I wanted the entire class to benefit from the lesson and to know that women have rejected me a lot, and I have rejected them too. The boys were shocked and asked me what I did. “Did you beat her up? Did you curse her out? One asked me. “I will tell that bit..h to go fu.k herself.” His male classmate echoed. I realized how many young boys think that every woman they speak to must go out with them. It also showed that those kids were not ready to deal with rejection. I told them that it was normal to be rejected, and we should not overladen ourselves because a lady or man rejected us.

Another student asked me one time, “Mr. Ayuk is anything wrong with me?” I asked him why. He told me that, “Every girl I speak to, rejects me.” I laughed and undertook a self-esteem building project to let him know that he must feel good about himself. and know that it will always happen. In so far as a man approaches women, there are some who will reject him.

These are lessons he should have learnt from his parents that it is ok to be rejected. No matter how rich, smart, beautiful or popular we are, it is not everyone who will accept us. Although guns are a part of this killing culture, the inability to deal with failures and rejections is the main culprit. Look, there is no mass murderer who did not have a character deficiency. The time has come to invest in raising up young people to be ready at the attacks of life. They should be ready to fight against everything that life throws at them. Except we do that, we will keep learning to find out the motives without coming to the knowledge of truth. If Elliot Oliver Robertson Rodger was taught that, he would not have killed these people. With the money he bought the ammunition, he would have gone to Eastern Europe and picked up a bevy of Ukrainian beauties at Red Districts across Europe.

Until then, it is high time for education to target the mind and the heart too.

St Arrey of Ntenako.

“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

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