Saturday, April 12, 2014

Papa Manyu.

The doorsteps to Papa Manyu's home.

Dear Uncle Sam,

               I greet you in the name of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. It has been a long time that we have neither seen nor spoken. I hope all is well. I am doing well and making giant leaps. I wanted to tell you a story. Do you remember the man who followed me everywhere I went; they called him, Papa Manyu? Perhaps yes or perhaps no but I liked his biography.

He built a house that shared boundaries with four neighbors called Nigeria, Indian, Koupe Manegouba and Lebialem. The path to his house was a little hanging bridge that got muddy every rainy season and dusty every dry season. Everyone knew that he was smart. He had 4 very smart kids too called Upper Bayang, Mamfe Central, Eyumojock and Akwaya, but they lived in disarray with each other. The kids grew up and had their own kids, but they too were not in good terms with each other. They always fought and took one another to court. They planned the death of their brothers and sisters and divided all their houses. Rumors even had it that sometimes they will quarrel to a point where they will be afraid to live in their own house and had to live in neighbors’ homes. Finally, they became laughingstocks to their neighbors. It is not just how they fought each other that was absurd, it was the way they tried to reconcile with each other that was incongruous. Everytime they had schism, they called those who stoke the flames as the peacemakers until one day, I had a dream.

I saw that Hitler was asked to babysit the Jews, and Ariel Castro-a child molester was asked to adopt children. I asked the organizers. Why choose Hitler and Ariel Castro? They told me that Hitler loved the Jews so much so that he killed 6 millions in six years, so they can ask him to babysit them. They also said that Ariel Castor molested two girls for ten years, so he will be asked to babysit the kids of the neighborhood for his love for children. It is a great idea! I just knew that the babysitting will fail. I also had a dream that I bought some fresh, special groundnuts, but I did not want anyone to mess around with them. Consequently, I went and buried them in the ratmole's hole to protect them. That is the best way to preserve your kids and protect your groundnuts. I also saw a man who was always mad because he smoked banga (your children call it weed and the British call it cannabis), so the parents always gave him banga to cure him. The more they gave him banga, the madder he became to a point where they had to shackle him in a loony bin. No one (except them) understood why that was the best treatment,. After all their titles and Phds made them all sages. They always repeated the same solution that gave them bad results; meanwhile, they intended a better outcome that always eluded them

They all still think that nobility is bought in the market. Do you have any titles for sale? My cat too wants one. I am confused which one. Don’t ask me which one because I don’t know. Perhaps between doctor or sesekou. I heard that those titles will convert your puerile behavior to those of a sage. Once you have one of them, you will become an elder in the community. Every born house, baby shower, convention, wedding, or njangi meeting, you will be seated on high table.  Unfortunately, despite his children having those titles, their speeches and actions remained infantile. He that has once dwelled in the swamp can never forget the feel thereof.

Dear Uncle, as you can see, your nephew is getting wiser and wiser everyday, oh. I thank you for always being there in my life, though.


Until then, stay well.


St Arrey of Ntenako.


“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

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