Saturday, November 30, 2013

“Should Christian Women Too Be Sexy?”

Megan Good in an indecent sexy dress!


A friend of mine sent me this question a few months ago, but I did not have time to reply. However, I will quickly give a thought today. The problem why this word “sexy” may pose a problem is if it is used as “arousing sexual desire or interest” but if it is used as “highly appealing or interesting” then there is nothing bad. Even with the former definition, couples must make themselves sexy to their spouses while everyone should make himself or herself highly appealing or interesting to other people both physically and character wise. There is not a single man out there who does not like a sexy woman. The problem should not be if the woman is sexy but what does she do with her sexy swagger. It behooves to underline that being sexy does not infer lack of decorum. We will lay our argument using I Tim. 2:9 and Titus 1:15. If we are to talk about modesty per 1 Tim 2:9, then all the women wearing braided hair, jewelry and expensive clothing are immodest. However, although some people will always live to see sin everywhere because their minds are all messed up, we should not lead them to sin. There is plain immodesty as the case of Megan Good (pictured above) whose breasts were partially exposed. Modesty does not mean lack of swagger or being unsexy. Megan Good could have still won the same dress but cover up her breasts.
Those whose minds are messed up limit the term sexy to “Arousing or tending to arouse sexual desire or interest.” To those who are pure and to whom everything is pure, they use the slang meaning, “Highly appealing or interesting; attractive”. Saying that a Christian woman is sexy does not necessarily mean that she is sexually appealing. Boy, a woman will always be appealing no matter how she looks if not we are saying that an ugly woman can never be raped. Otherwise, how can an ugly woman arouse anyone? Many Christians think the word modest means lack of decency. Modest simply means well arranged, not being ostentatious, not too flashy or showy. Simply because a woman wears a tight fighting pair of pants that costs $5 and the other wears a lousy one that glitters and costs $300 does not mean the latter is modest than the former. Actually, the latter is more immodest than the former because she is more ostentatious than her counterpart.
Terry and Rebecca Crews with Mrs Crews in a sexy red dress.
Undoubtedly, God likes beauty that he ordered Aaron’s garments to be made “for beauty and for glory” (Ex 28:2). The Bible says we shall see the king in his beauty (Is 33:17). Why would God allow the redeemed to see the king in his beauty if beauty is bad? Res ipsa loquitur! Absalom was noted for his beauty (2 Sam 14:25). Esther got the attention of the king because they paraded her sexy beauty before him (Esther 1:11) just like we have the beauty pageants nowadays. Indeed, with this verse, we know that there are some women who are not fair to be looked upon. In other words; they are ugly. Take it or leave it: some people are ugly.
Take the comparison between Leah and Rachel. The Bible says Rachel was beautiful while Leah was tender eyed (Gen 29:17). There are some women that you look and then you look again because they are beautiful as if you missed them the first time. If God so hate beauty, why would he advice the Israelites to keep the beautiful women they captured in war (Deut 21:11)?
Christians have to know that the church cannot function out of the community. If God gave the Israelites ceremonial laws, which the community had to perform is because He wanted the community too. That is why, the way we live in the community should reflect what we profess in church. We cannot be saints in church and sinners in the neighborhood. Either we are saints, or we are sinners. We cannot be both!
Secondly, the competition of Esther that eventually led to her being made queen is a biblical example of God’s approval of pageantry and thus sexy beauty. It should be clear that it was her sex appeals and not her character that the king saw first.I am always baffled how this sexy debate is always waged mostly by overweight Christian women who cannot look sexy  in any dress they wear and those other women whom God has not blessed with the physical beauty.
Thirdly, there is no theological statement that was made in a vacuum. Take for instance, the cases of John the Baptist (Lk 3:10-14) and Jesus (Mt 5:38-45), both used language as a vehicle of the community. There is a Zeitgeist which is not conforming to mundanity. Is it a sin to be beautiful or handsome? If not then why would it be a problem to be sexy? Is it a sin to be intelligent? If not why would it be a problem entering into a competition if you can. Now, if we don’t have a problem with our kids writing exams to earn their living, playing sports to earn a living; why would it be a problem for anyone to do a beauty contest to earn her living or talk less of a woman appearing sexy? Contrarily, God wants dual beauty: in and out. Unfortunately, humans mostly look at the one without; the source of our failures.
The only issue would be if there was sin involved. Yet, as we all know, every area in our lives; school, office, home is sin oriented, and we fight that everyday. If we give in, we have fallen into temptation but if we don’t, we have overcome. Jesus said “I do not pray that You take them out of this world but protect them from evil because we are of the world (Jn 17:15-17).” Therefore, the problem should not be about being sexy but what you do with the attention garnered from being sexy. It is definite that “Unto the pure all things are pure: but unto them that are defiled and unbelieving is nothing pure; but even their mind and conscience is defiled (Titus 1:15).” Simultaneously too, it is important we differentiate between decent and modest sexy and indecent and immodest sexy; although it will be based too on tastes and proclivities. We will never agree on what is sexy but at least we can agree on what is indecent and immodest according to  I Timothy 2:9 and Titus 1:15. Hypocrites form the basis of their purity from the outside; God sees from the inside. 

Until then, let everyone dresses for the glory of God according to the grace.

St Arrey of Ntenako


“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

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