Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Why Do Even Christians Make Bad Marriages?

Hyperopia or prestige and power: Eve’s tragic flaw was hyperopia (excessive lust or as we say it in Pidgin: Langa or Big Eye). She could eat every fruit in the garden except one, yet she still ate the forbidden. She desired every eye-pleaser, and though wise, she wanted more wisdom (Gen 3:6). How many women marry for the riches, prestige and power thereof in the name of security? How many men marry a woman simply because she is extremely beautiful?

Complacent pride: Even when Samson had found that Delilah wanted to kill him, he still persisted in the relationship (Judges 16:1-31). He thought he would “Go out as at other times before, and shake up himself” as of old to walk away from his enemies. Some women marry a man thinking they are going to change him. They constantly drive themselves to dead end relationships.

Foolish decisions: Abigail knew that Nabal was foolish, even by his name. She knew he was son of Belial (I Sam 25:17), but he was rich, so her desire to partake in his riches blinded her shrewdness. Uncontrollable vaulting ambition has plunged many into some marital abyss. 

Unholy Alliances: Ahab wanted power and that meant even an unholy alliance with Jezebel would be accepted. His tragic flaw was absolute power that he could only get by teaming up with the power-broker, Jezebel. Jezebel was a very wicked woman whom everyone knew, but Ahab decided to marry her. These were not blind marriages because before a wedding took place in those days, the families had enough information of the bride and groom. He was now powerful without that he could kill prophets, but he was powerless within that his wife pulled him by the nose. You know with whom you ally with. You see, bad communication corrupt good manners. I did not say it; the bible said it!

Rejection of Good People. A good man is a caring person (v 20), and he keeps the interest of others first (v22). The same recommendation of selflessness is accorded to Epaphroditus (V 30). These two: care and altruism are key ingredients in a good man. Texts, phone calls, and visits are ordinary rudiments of a caring person. When you have a lover whom you have to beg to call you, then there is a problem there. You see, many have been married to bad people because they rejected good people, perhaps because they did not; look like them or were not in their class. Take the examples of these stars recycling lovers. They keep marrying very bad people, perhaps because he is hot and the good person is too honest. I always wonder why women are afraid of people who are very religious. Actually, statistics have shown that those are very emotionally, psychologically and mentally stable people .

Disobeying God's Counsel: As much as it is important to make a better choice, it is also important to follow the principles of living a happy matrimony as prescribed in the Bible. Acknowledge that marriage is for life. The second is finding a like-minded person. Avoid premarital sex. Resolve your little conflicts before they grow bigger. You should keep jealousy away, show support to one another, give each other mutual respect, avoid domination and communicate with each other.

Until then, do not be a statistics.

“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

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