Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Why Do Even Christians Make Bad Marriages?








Hyperopia or prestige and power: Eve’s tragic flaw was hyperopia (excessive lust or as we say it in Pidgin: Langa or Big Eye). She could eat every fruit in the garden except one, yet she still ate the forbidden. She desired every eye-pleaser, and though wise, she wanted more wisdom (Gen 3:6). How many women marry for the riches, prestige and power thereof in the name of security? How many men marry a woman simply because she is extremely beautiful?

Complacent pride: Even when Samson had found that Delilah wanted to kill him, he still persisted in the relationship (Judges 16:1-31). He thought he would “Go out as at other times before, and shake up himself” as of old to walk away from his enemies. Some women marry a man thinking they are going to change him. They constantly drive themselves to dead end relationships.

Foolish decisions: Abigail knew that Nabal was foolish, even by his name. She knew he was son of Belial (I Sam 25:17), but he was rich, so her desire to partake in his riches blinded her shrewdness. Uncontrollable vaulting ambition has plunged many into some marital abyss. 

Unholy Alliances: Ahab wanted power and that meant even an unholy alliance with Jezebel would be accepted. His tragic flaw was absolute power that he could only get by teaming up with the power-broker, Jezebel. Jezebel was a very wicked woman whom everyone knew, but Ahab decided to marry her. These were not blind marriages because before a wedding took place in those days, the families had enough information of the bride and groom. He was now powerful without that he could kill prophets, but he was powerless within that his wife pulled him by the nose. You know with whom you ally with. You see, bad communication corrupt good manners. I did not say it; the bible said it!

Rejection of Good People. A good man is a caring person (v 20), and he keeps the interest of others first (v22). The same recommendation of selflessness is accorded to Epaphroditus (V 30). These two: care and altruism are key ingredients in a good man. Texts, phone calls, and visits are ordinary rudiments of a caring person. When you have a lover whom you have to beg to call you, then there is a problem there. You see, many have been married to bad people because they rejected good people, perhaps because they did not; look like them or were not in their class. Take the examples of these stars recycling lovers. They keep marrying very bad people, perhaps because he is hot and the good person is too honest. I always wonder why women are afraid of people who are very religious. Actually, statistics have shown that those are very emotionally, psychologically and mentally stable people .

Disobeying God's Counsel: As much as it is important to make a better choice, it is also important to follow the principles of living a happy matrimony as prescribed in the Bible. Acknowledge that marriage is for life. The second is finding a like-minded person. Avoid premarital sex. Resolve your little conflicts before they grow bigger. You should keep jealousy away, show support to one another, give each other mutual respect, avoid domination and communicate with each other.

Until then, do not be a statistics.


“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

Friday, January 25, 2013

Ntenako: Chapter Three


Mbintu’s wife was at home getting restless, wondering what happened to her husband that he has not come back. “Did he get himself ambushed?” Thoughts crisscrossed her mind. He was a much focused person by virtue of the demands of his job. He did not drink like his neighbor Agbor_ndakor.  It was certain that whatever danger he fell in, he will fight till his last breath. She tried to go to bed, but sleep will not come. “A toad never crosses the road in broad day light if nothing was pursuing it.” This was not like my husband. The husband I have known for these numbers of years. She took her loin, tight it round her waist, put her child on the back and tied another loin over the child, then she gently pulled the squealing door.  The door has been there before she came, so rust has made it a home. Each time any of them is going out or entering back into the house, the door announces to the world that they are entering or going.
Mma Atungho looked outside and beheld the darkness that has stormed the village. As she stepped her leg outside, she felt a presence. She tried to greet, but no one will greet her. She called aloud, but there was no reply. “Did I just see a ghost? Did I?” Many things ran across her mind. If she went back into the house, there was no guarantee that the person who just saw her may not come back to hurt her. If she continued, he may pursue her to kill her. She knew she had a catch 22 in her hands.  She will walk a little bit further and if she felt any movement, then she will scream. That will be enough for Mbintu to hear and come out of wherever he was. It was a Hobson’s choice she had, seeing the husband. Mbintu is the man who has given her too much pride; the man who has time and again laid his life for her, and the man who has borne her opprobrium.
Mma Atungho increased her pace as she wondered again if it was just a chimera. She courageously segued through the night and reached in Agbor-Ndakor’s house. The door was wide open. When someone had a baby, they left the door open so that anyone who wanted to come and visit did not have to knock and they did not have to warrant anyone getting up to open the door. However, almost everyone knocked for formality except the younger generation who had missed taking etiquette 101. Mma Atungho knocked and entered.  When an aficionado espied her, she called out “Mongoegh a beisi!” The little fire has emerged, he means.  While villagers could get away from Mbintu with invectives, they could not with Mma Atungho. She returned fire for fire and verbatim literatim.
There were so many people visiting, so she could not easily see or hear Mbintu. Then she asked if anyone has seen her husband. By the time they could answer, she had seen him at the far end just around where the baby was lying. He was in his desultory state, narrating one hunting prowess to another to the complete entertainment of the visitors.  A neighbor touched Mbintu to alert him of the wife’s presence.  When Mbintu was in a crowd that was listening to him tell his tales, it was as if he was under a spell. He felt no pain and felt no gain; he saw nothing and saw nobody. He was like a rouĂ©. At that moment, everyone was to him a booboisie.  “Ta Mbintu,” the wife called aloud. “I am throwing greetings your way ooohhh.” She greeted. Many people called him Mbintu despite his age because he had made himself too simple and rustic. Actually, he was a man of the people.
Everyone there was amazed. Some naughty fellows began murmuring that, “You see; this woman has no respect for anyone other than Mbintu who is fucking her.” “I will fuck her too, so she can respect me like she does Mbintu.”  His friend horsed around. It was as if someone else had heard them, and that could bring real trouble at times. It could cut their enjoyment short. However, in most cases, people ended laughing because whenever you came to a born-house (a house where a child was born), there was a lot of jocularity going on. It was the same way with wake-keepings. People liked to sit around those who crack jokes and some of the jokesters could tell them all night long as long as their cups were continuously being replenished. If they became inebriated, they allowed him to sleep the alcohol out while they listened to the next comedian.
Their side of the corner was drawing a lot of attention form the outburst that came with that joke that everyone had to look at them. People now began asking them what happened. Who said what. Whoever would say it may face the wrath of Mma Atungho right there and she may actually give them a very bad day. His joke could be a gimcrack, but who knows what may annoy a woman? No one was ready to be the cause of the setting the born-house asunder, so they quickly stopped quiet as if thunder had struck. Then the attention was quickly turned to Mbintu and Atungho. 

St Arrey of Ntenako

“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Ntenako: Chapter Two


     Mbintu sat down just beside the fireside. As a hunter, he is used to sitting around the burning fire in the thick evergreen forest, so smoke meant little to him. As the fire glowed, the smoked rose up as if sacrifice was being offered in the house. “The boy looks just like the father.” Mbintu exclaimed!” He did not just say it as was the custom to make the father feel good that someone else had not worked the farm of his wife, but the child truly looked like Agbor- Ndakor. “No, he looks like me. Look at the nose and eyes. Are those not my grandfather’s?” Agborndakor’s wife- Bessem_ Enow interjected with a sense of satiety. Villagers always said that the day Agborndakor will have a baby, he will stop being drunk.

As the news went around the kraal, people said two things. Agbrondakor’s friends said that God has redeemed their friend, but that was not what his enemies saw. They instead said that they hope this time he will learn to stay home and raise up his kid. It was surprising that a man who had been married only for twenty-two months was considered impotent. They expected the wife to be pregnant within the first or second month of their marriage and to have the baby within the first nine to twelve months, other than which there will be several theories. Some will say that the couple is being bewitched. Others will say that the couple is being punished by the goods because of something they did in secret. Some will say that the man is impotent while others will sing that the wife is barren. Whatever reason they gave was enough ignominy to the couple as childlessness was a grievous stigma.

The parents will not rest until they sorted a way out of it. Usually the solution will be for the husband to get married to another wife. In most cases, they never ever thought that the fault could have resided with the man. In a trice, a marriage could be over without the volition of the couple. The couple several times was like a puppet and the family was the puppet master. It was difficult to separate one’s self from such outrĂ© for fear of being cursed. That is why Mbianda drove his wife one day because they could not have children. Then he got married to a second and still did not have a child.  The family themselves brought him another wife, but she too failed to deliver. No one ever thought that it could be Mbianda, or if they ever thought so they never said it openly. Instead the villagers accused one of his aunts for closing the womb of his wives in witchcraft.

Mma Atem-Ebangha was forced to dance Awangwang- a degrading dance for being a witch. It would not take for long for things to change. After each of the women left, she remarried and got pregenant the ensuing months. In addition, Mbianda himself had gone to Nfuni where consulted the obasinjom who told him that he was the problem.  The Juju told him that children were not in his blood. As Mbianda sat in silence as the family forced the wives to carry his crossed, he was internally eroded by compunction. He will question himself what he ever did to merit such a fate. “Did I seize someone’s wife?” He pondered.  “Was my peccant with a goddess and the gods are paying me back?”  He probed himself. “This wasn’t fortuitous!” He soliloquized. It was as if a man has been charged and found guilty for a crime he was not aware and now he has to run to the gods and humans to ascertain his crime.

One day while he was drinking in Ben-Nso’s bar, he caused a brawl with a boulevardier. “Are you talking to?” Ashu-Enowfungkang asked Mbianda. “If they were counting men in this village, would you too stand to be counted? Would you?’ He emphasized. “Aren’t you dead within?” This verbal plangent went like a ribald to a hobbledehoy sitting by. He exclaimed “ah ha, the boil has finally been pierced and the pus is oozing out.” Indeed, that is the way Mbianda felt because then he knew that everyone knows now he was the problem, so there was nothing to hide anymore. It was insensate what they did to him, but it brought him joy. The porcupine has hidden things inside its stomach that its entrails have been embittered.
No more will he be venomous, no more will he live in denial, and no more will he live in self-deceit. He told himself with his heart palpitated. He looked at himself cap-a pie and kept walking. Today is the day. He will never forget this day.
“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Small People



Here are the small people coming.
They scout and seek to help.
When they do, they run the relay with it.
They talk about you who remember not their names.
They are the small people of our time.

They say they are big, strong, rich, yet,
They still want others to recognize them.
They call and tell tales of jealousy.
Listen to them; this is a secret; tell no one.
They are the small people of our time.

Your failure is their lenbensfreude
Your happiness is their scahdenfreude.
I see them in the world.
I see them everywhere.
They are the small people of our time.

The big people don’t care about what you do!
The big people don’t care where you work!
The big people don’t care where you live!
The big people don’t walk with you!
The small people of our time should learn.

They like to knock people’s heads
They are reconciliators and negotiators.
They are arsonists firefighters.
They are radios trottoirs.
They are the small people of our time.

Do you have your slate to take notes?
Are you telling them what I say?
What are you waiting?
Wouldn’t you call two or three before nightfall?
Aren’t they the small people of our time? 

These scavengers are like vultures.
They prey for the exfoliation of my skin.
Take the wasted matter, I beg them!
Come and lick my impetigo, I adjure!
These are the small people of our time

Hamilton Ayuk . 01/13/2013

“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

Ntenako: Chapter One



Hilililililili, the sun was shining through the chinks of the little hut with mud beds and chairs. The fireside was made of mud too, plastered as art from Picasso. The hollow roof and crevices released the sound with such rush that the screeching could be heard in the next quarter. “What are those cries? Where are they coming from?” Mbintu asked the wife. "Didn’t our fathers say that if a man heard cries from a neighbor’s house but does not mind his own house could be next?” Mma Atungho chided the husband.   “It seems the noise is coming from Agbor-Ndakor’s house. You know that he is always like that.” Mbintu calmed the wife.
Mbintu took his chewing stick and put in his mouth. He ruminated as a goat chewing the brome.  It was his usual way of being disinterested. His wife already knew that. Nagging him was like scratching a match on dry mart. However, he did not like to see the wife do things that he was supposed to do because it was a shameful thing for the goat to bleat strangers while the guard dog sits unconcern. Shouldn’t the husband go out to square off with whatever danger was lurking under their noses?
“Atungho, where are you going?” He asked, as if saying come and sit down and let me go there. "Isn’t it the duty of the husband to guard the family from danger?” He questioned. “I thought that I should do it myself since you do not want to do it. It is true that Agbor-Ndakor is a drunkard, but those are not the ramblings of a drunkard. They sound like cries of joy especially because Mma Bessemenow is pregnant.” She lectured him.
It is well known that Mbintu read books and newspapers upside down, so reasoning always arrived when foolishness had taken hold of him. This was when his wife is not around because her insights were like the thoughts of a goddess. That struck a nerve in Mbintu’s head. He walked a few meters, looked at his wife and then he shook his head. Deep in him, he was excoriating himself why he could not think. “Why did I not even remember that Agbornadakor’s wife was pregnant?” He muttered to himself. “Why am I always late?” He kept berating himself.  Such was his daily dose.
No one knew the town like Mbintu. Despite his laziness in thoughts, he was a dexterous and kind hunter. “A hunter should never go out in the field without arming himself.” He cautioned himself. Mbintu was always ready. He never liked to be caught by surprise. If anything was to happen, he should be able to defend himself. He went a few steps again; he tried to go forward, but turned back to take his spear. The spear was slightly taller than him and it was to him what the rod was to Moses.
Immediately as the wife saw him, “You are no more going? What type of a man are you? Why are you like this?” Mbintu’s wife scolded. Nagging to Mbintu was like the buzz of hovering flies on rotten meat. He looked at the wife, then took out his chewing stick and began chewing it again. He has been married to her for more than 24 years, so he knew her a little bit by now. Rumors in the village said that the only competition Atungho had was with the radio. No mortal, no human and no villager could muscle up with Atunghow when talking was concerned. She was so garrulous that she nitpicked even on the weaverbirds in the sky.
That did not discourage Mbintu. He took his pear and rushed out straight to Agborndakor’s house. The closer he went, the louder the screeches became, and the more he increased his pace. The legs of his pants were broken in the middle as if nature had a design for his legs to take fresh air. As he walked, he blew the dust with his feet. Sometimes the little stones crawled off his toes and hit wasted aluminum cans and broken bottles by the roadside or in the gutter, producing a cacophonous beat.
A few meters away from Agbornadokro;’s house, Mbitu began shouting, “Nnemme-Mmu, Nnemme-Mmu, Nnemme-Mmu!”  It means the great man. Agbornadakor recognized the voice. It was Mbitu calling his nom de guerre. “Mkwoh Mmasem!” He shouted. That is how everyone in the village called Mbintu. The tiger or leapard of Mmasem. Mmasem was his mother’s name. “When my wife and I heard your screams today, we thought a snake had beaten you.” He joked with Agbornadakor. “He that has been struck by lightning does not fear the groaning of thunder.” Agborndakor bellowed. “When the sky hatches rain, the lion roars. The sky was dark for nine months, and today the sky has lightened up.” Agbornadokor boasted. “NnemmeMmu, NnemmeMmu, NnemmeMmu!” This is manhood! Mbintu exclaimed. Agborndakor’s wife has given birth to a baby boy.
 Since they had been married for more than 22 months and they did not have a child, many people began slandering him that he was a woman. Some people joked in their absence that two women were married together. Perhaps that is why Agbronadkor drank too much so that he will submerge the tittle-tattle of the villagers. It was not only the villagers; even his own family had questioned his manhood. His mother will say, “My son, nine months, I mean nine months have passed, but the village has not come to dance in your house. When are they coming to your house? Should I bring you a real woman?” Therefore, this baby was like God himself came down to remove the barrenness opprobrium that sat on his household like the albatross on the Ancient Mariner.

St Arrey of Ntenako


“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

Southern Cameroons Should Keep Their Schools Closed For Their Own Good.

I hear talks of schools reopening because children can no more stay home. Is it that all those who were arrested have been released, or is...