Tuesday, November 13, 2012

The Secret Lessons in the General Petraeus Affair.



“PA, Is there a secret why do men keep committing adultery?”
General Petraeus’s as a military officer record is impeccable, his work as a CIA director needs no introduction, but his life as a dedicated husband is now in the court of public opinion and will soon be on the floor of the senate. He is accused of cheating with his biographer, up to a point where she threatened a close friend of Petraeus mistaking her for her competitor to “back off from my (her) guy.”  Suffer me say that it is not only men who are committing adultery; women do too. It is recorded that Paula (the woman involved in this love triangle) is also married. Why is the affair only coming out now, why did Jill Kelley blow the whistle, and was there any security breach? This is more or less a Hollywood mime of power, love, sex and betrayal. Petraeus’s resignation eventhough too shrouded to resonate with the excuse of infidelity still has a lot of lessons for the living to remember. His fall will teach us lessons in love and marriage, the digital age, the nature of man and the society we live in. 
        Petraeus mistake is not that he committed adultery for that is his killing; it is that he married a woman his age. That is the root cause of his fall. From Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca, Ruth and Boaz, to Zacharias and Elizabeth and Joseph and Mary, the entire bible is replete with older men marrying younger women because women mature faster. If Petraeus had married Holly at 20 years younger than him, she would have been the same age as the mistress he so crave now.  Even if Jill Kelley was his mistress, she is 37 years old, and Paula Broadwell is 40 years old. Both General and Mrs. Petraeus are 60 years old. If Holly was 20 years younger, she would have been the same age like Paula and three years older than Jill because men live by sight; they are easily influenced by what they see. On the contrary, women live by taste and feeling.  Now look at this picture again with no insult intended to Mrs Petraeus.Who looks like a mother, and who looks like a wife to Petraeus?

          When I visited Mexico in 2007, I met 6 women who were divorced, and 4 of them told me that their husbands left them for younger women. If Holly was married to a 70 or 80 year old, he would have been the one worshiping her; afraid that she runs away. On the contrary, most women married to younger men find their men cheating on them with a few exceptions. At 60 her body is not too hot for sex anymore as her male counterpart ,but she wants him around to hold hands, cuddle and tell bedtime stories. For her to get that emotional security, she should marry a man older than her with at least 10 years.
Another, reason for his downfall is that man is naturally sinful. Even if Petraeus married a woman 30 years younger than him and he wanted to fall in sin, he will still do it because human beings will always do the things they do not want to do, but they will not do the good they want to do because they live in a sinful body (Rom 7:18-25). Man has made many inventions, but his nature has always pushed him to do evil with them. One such invention is the internet. 
Today we live in a digital age with entrappings that elude even the hackers. It is ludicrous to hear people tell you that they did not read the email you sent them, or to see them forward it to other parties unbeknownst to them that you know what they did with it. They are not aware that back on your desk you know if they have read it or not and to whom they have forwarded it. It is sad that someone will send threatening emails to another person unaware they will be caught. Had General Allen not forwarded mails to Kelley the email Paula sent to him, we would not have been where we are now. Gen Allen should have used his wisdom in dealing with it. This is a disease most Americans have as a dirty secret. No wonder they want to kill Assange and Wikileaks. Forwarding someone's email without informing them is synonymous to perfidy and duplicity.
Wherever you sit and use a computer, you leave netprints to say the least. So, when next you sit on that internet to send a ghost mail, know that if push comes to shove, your identity will be unveiled.The only thing that can serve as antidote is the belief in Christ and living the Christian lifestyle. If Christians live in the spirit, they will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh (Gal. 5:16) and adultery is the lust of the flesh (Gal.5:19-21 ).You realize that no matter how Petraeus was careful, he still fell pray. he was thew chief spy, but he could not cover his base fully. Do you know how they were able to hide their love affair? I should have told you, but I will keep it a secret, so those who want to cheat on their spouses can end up like Josh Duggard with the Ashley Madison saga. 
Another thing why Petraeus fell in sin is because of the dwindling morals. Whoever amongst the two of them who began the relationship while still in the military will be prosecuted. The Bible teaches that bad communication corrupts good manners (I Cor 15:33). Sociology teaches that people may be influenced by their surroundings. Today, people do not want virtues or morality, but they want people to live right. It cannot happen! Morality must be the bed on which mankind sleeps for people to act right. Adultery nowadays is not regarded as a sin, even though it is a crime in the military. It is just extra marital affairs. To an extent, it is even polyamory. If Petraeus and Broadwell both started the relationship while in the military, they will be charged with adultery according to Article 134 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Nonetheless, they will still have to repent to obtain forgiveness of sin. Until such time when we realize that there is a God who judges sin; thus, abstain from it, we will constantly hear news like this.
The final reason is that Petraeus failed to learn a lesson King Solomon gave us years ago. In plain English it says do not play with fire. He simply said “Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned (Prov 6:25-27)?” If you are married, you should leave other women alone! You should avoid even flirting with them because little by little, the bird builds its nest. By taking Paula with him to Afghanistan to write his biography, he set the stage for adultery and built the altar on which his 37 year old marriage will be sacrificed. Away from both partners, it was good enough to strike the cord of love if they had not yet had it because  if even two people who hate each other so much were locked in the same room, it will not take too long before they fall in love with each other as nearness sometimes brings likeness or amorous interest.  Never play with fire but Petraeus did, so now he is burnt on the oven with the brand name Paula Broadwell.  
Nonetheless, I hope that the Petraeus Affair will not only make us point fingers as none is able to cast the first stone, rather it should help us to learn the lessons so that we do not fall prey to the same net that caught Petraeus. Men beware because the same net that caught Clinton, Spitzer, Schwarzenegger, John Edwards has caught Patraeus.  I hope that a little lick here and a little bang there will not be all that sums up his illustrious career.
Until then, I really wish all of them well.
St Arrey of Ntenako.


“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

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