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Saturday, August 18, 2012
Yaounde University1 In 1997 & 2001.
Considering the Head of state's
last speech, we thought the government was bent at extirpating corruption which
has eaten into our nation like a cankerworm. Most of our universities are a
show window for fraud, extortion, bribery, nepotism and unconsciousness of
service. The manufacturing industries are the professors, students,
administration, and unskilled personnel. I
crave your indulgence to lend me your earnest and fervent attention, so I can
excoriate askewness. Canards could be repeated lies gaining belief, but these,
yes these, are more than bundles of fabrications meticulously interwoven to
derogate the humble personality of whosoever. Obviously, because of the
overwhelmingly detailed facts, you will know I spent a lot of money in my
Cheats, who are animated by
somatism, obscurantism and paranoia, adumbrate our universities like a false
prophet oversees his church. To resist fraud with our blood is less the cost
and damage of taciturn. As such, I do not blame the students for taking into
the streets to strike. The students must increase their strikes frequencies.
Therefore, we all need to be
sensitized. I guess some renovation has been effectuated in the universities
since the strike actions. Mindful of the recent renovations of the university
structures and programs, I want to believe that the first thing should not be
these larks but the mentality. We cannot read it but can see what germinates
from there. The heart is corrupt, deceitful and desperately wicked that the
wicked man will see no good in the beautiful structures and academic programs
if not of "burning". I hereby assume all the risk to unfold the
contaminated parts of this university. Again, corruption is the palmerworm that
has eaten into the administrators, students, teachers and laborers alike.
The university restaurant’s workers
arrange with students who come with small market bags or deep pans and pots as
if to buy repasts. They give the ticket, and the cheats fill the containers.
After work, they request their booty from the accomplice student where they
take 2/3 and the student 1/3. Some negotiate with children about 12 years old
who enter under the fence, collect the food and go out. At times, the
restaurateurs themselves put-it under the fence pass round through the gate,
turn round and go collect their spoils. The famous fence is a tramway for oil,
tomatoes, bags of rice and beans to make a "Long March" from the
university to the quarters. At times, the workers stamping the tickets
voluntarily leave their seats to hamper the smooth circulation of the queue and
students who must have wasted two hours to get a meal‘Se decourage ‘ to attend lectures. That
means much food is left for them to take home. Some wise ones only retard
service while there is food. They don't serve and many irascible students leave
abandoning behind much food. In such apotheosis and incompuction, they declare,
"much food has remained today. We won!" Logically and humanly speaking,
if left, it will be bad, and it cannot be thrown when their children are
moribund in the house like samples from Ethiopia. The intendant finally
authorizes them to share the food.
Let me brush over the quality.
Unwashed rice is cooked with all the beetles, gravel and cobwebs on earth. If
it was not the grace of God, then the university would have been moving five
deaths weekly. The environment is similar to a modern pigsty.
The institution is proud of student hostels which has really
helped some of us. Having stayed there for two successive years (F4-1994 and
A2O6-1995) my keyboard is so holy to type all what I saw.
A student is supposed to be
qualified after an eclectic consideration of their files so we are told. For
heaven sake, there were and should be people staying there without a file. They
only establish one after having integrated the room. Even non students stay
legally there. I even knew a banker who was working with Credit Agricole
staying there. The Individual Rooms (chambres individuelles) were solely
restricted to Third Year and above students while the communal rooms were the
property of Year One and Two. To my greatest surprise, my former classmate in
Room 201, 1993/94 was in year two and she confirmed it was her second
year which means she entered there in Year One.
To get an individual room is a
jungle affair reserved for the fittest or robusts. Why should the child of a
minister come to stay in the hostel? Worst of it, the content of his house;
fridge, television set and deck, complete complex musical set and a woolen
carpet of about 30,000 FCFA all proof that he/she does not need that
hostel. I thought the hostels are for poor students, or those whose parents are
afar. Even when your name futures on the board as being a potential occupant of
a room, that may just be the beginning of your battle for integration. I quite
remember I spent almost three weeks out after having paid my rents for six
months simply because I could not oi1 the lips of the caretakers or "motivate"
them. One serious headache was a neighbor I met in F4 (communal room). He was
not only a magician but allergic to asexuality. I reported the matter to the
authority who instead colluded with him and boorishly told me "va negocier
The richest and most important
personality in any country goes to the toilet (vanity of vanities).That at least
is where chairman Biya and I are the same. You smile don’t you? Unfortunately,
very few toilets function because deleterious students damaged them, and no
repairs have been carried out.
Students have smoldered most of
their tables and floors with their electric stoves. Some rooms don't even have
light. Everything at this level is individually and personally done. Out-going
students steal the starters and sockets. On the other hand, the carpenters,
plumbers and electricians are mere spectators in the ongoing hocus-pocus.
Before a repair is effectuated, students tip or bribe them and they end up
extorting the public. My question now is what is their purpose there? And why
have they a salary?
The Admission Office is really a
frustrating wagon propelled by a fraud locomotive piloted in those days by one
Essono. Riff-raffs and ragamuffins are recruited to work there because of their
“special relationships”. Transcripts change themselves, marks undergo
fermentation from 6/20 to 16/20 and failures metamorphosed to passes. There was
no punishment for copy work except those unfortunate ones.If you have never seen fraud and corruption
in person, I do beseech your presence there. To collect a single transcript for
the past year especially previous years to 1994 will take you at least six
months to a year accompanied by a thousand francs to clear the muddy road. You
smile don’t you?
My shrewd perspicacity thinks of
their vitiated etiquette that they must expectorate to win respect. Not only do
they become mobile libraries with textbooks, carefully packed in their
overcoats but they have "boards" or "cordillions." In the
midst of all this mess, they establish "fronts" for fraud. The girls
voluntarily hand in their peacemakers to even their married professors (not to
talk of those mongrels and voluble student professors). No wonder AIDS quickly
killed some of them (ask the English Department). The doctorate and Maîtrise
students are corrupt to the bones operating as commercial agents between the
professors and students. At times, these same students write for one another or
negotiate with their customers who advise them to take home their failed papers,
rewrite the same stuff on a clean sheet of paper and they gain 15/20 instead of
the previous 7/20. The doctorate and Maîtrise students asked to invigilate
become pastime teachers in the hall. They teach mostly girls though. The
scraggly boys negotiate with silver and gold.
Professors organize private classes
in the same subjects they teach in school. If they themselves don't organize
it, they send someone else ahead whereby they only go there as visiting
teachers. If they cannot go, they send their student professor. The fees for
the private classes are charged so high that, once you pay, you have tacitly
bought your Unit Value (U.V). At times, the professors ask students to buy
their "polycops" and they register the names of their buyers. When
this fails, a quota is officially set with other students from other
departments acting as errand boys. When all efforts become abortive, they
mystify their U.V. so that many students fail and deliberately come for
“consultation”. Papers to be marked in school are secretly carried to the
hostel or Bonamousadi where candidates decipher their calligraphy and then pay
some money ranging from 1000 CFA upwards like was the case of Formation
Bilingue in 1995/96 in H90 and LMA 2 Novel 1993/94 beside Manda Fils' house
(Obili) respectively. To promote fraud, students don’t have access to their
papers and when they are writing they are attributed signets by some
professors. Why was the colonel’s wife who copied my assignments have more
marks than I. At times, I did the same homework she copied, but she passed while
I failed. How?People like Gakoue of the
English Department (scrambled name to spare him the shame) will tear your paper
and claim you did not write. If you did not write, where did he get the failed
grade he registered on your name? For two years he kept tearing a
student's final exam papers and the student kept failing
the same UV until a ladyto whom he
boasted revealed his sadism. Gentleman, I am sparing you the shame by keeping
your name. Why do we keep giving students low grades? That is a big handicap
for admission into foreign universities.
How do they promote the progress of
our institution? Are they not merely sources of expenditures without incomes?
Take for instance the university music club. It is a house for paranoids and
somatists who see the university as a no-man’s-land. What have they done with
the money they organize concerts? That should be a great source of income for
the university and not the plunder of wretched students with registrations
The university land is occupied by any solipsist. Why should
we be absentee landlords when we really need land to erect many more
classrooms. We lack classrooms so much so that students stand in Amphitheaters
to take notes. Such overcrowding is a hazard to good health and conducive
learning environment. Who is occupying the land in Me1en , Obi1i ,
Bonamousssadi and Ngoa-ke1le. More so, who is staying in the self-contained
university houses? And who is supposed to stay there? However, I believe the
following propositions if applied body and soul we wi11 escape the Tantalus
myth. If these reforms are not implemented students should continue striking.
propositions are originally for Yaounde
1 they could be applied to other universities too.
1) A private non-profit organization be assigned the
volunteer status to control most of the university property and curb down vice.
2) No unreasonable stoppages should be seen when food is
3) All students should be entitled to two meals at most and
the quantity checked. Any child or worker caught putting things across the
fence should be sacked and prosecuted.
4) No worker carries more than a certain quantity of food.
All remnants should be given to students. This will daunt workers from delaying
thinking they will carry food.Announcements should be made that at a certain time, students could pass
and see if there is still food.
5) Any student who destroys anything in his room; toilet, locker,
table, should replace what is spoiled. If not, their transcripts or certificates
should be retained until they clear out their debts.
6) No Year One or Two student should be permitted for
whatever reason to occupy an individual room if that is against the rules and
regulations of the logistics department.
7) The students whose father is rich, is a minister or those
whose parents live in Yaoundé should not be authorized to occupy a room in the
8) For rents to be efficiently recovered, a notice should be
pasted for general check at 8-9 p.m.
Any student not found in his room and without a photocopy of receipt of payment
on the door, should be treated as a runaway. The door should be broken,
important assets carried from the room and key replaced. To collect the things, he must pay his rents and the cost of door repair.
9) Students with electrical, plumbing, carpentry problems
should inform the authorities and after repairs, both the student and
technician making sure the repairs are carried out sign a form. Each technician
must carry out a given number of repairs per day. More so, students with those
skills should be used (towards their registration fee) than outsiders
10) A student who absconds with rents should be deprived of
his Certificate or transcripts. His transcripts should be transferred to the
Lodging and Infrastructure Department where he would collect them only after
settling his debts.
11) Rooms should be surprised and if after three
appearances, it is not the student whose name is on the list, the present
occupant should be evicted.
12) Employers should train their workers on how to detect
false certificates so that meaning will be giving to those going to school.
13) Names of those allegedly called degree holders for the
past ten years should be removed from the office of the rector and their names
and marks be compared with what the Dean and Heads
Departments have. If they do not match, the computer head
should be prosecuted for having sold certificates.
14) Henceforth, all test papers be submitted to the Head of
Department after the marks have been registered. Students should be authorized
to consult their papers and see their grades.
15) A Non-profit organization be permitted to read some of
the scripts to unravel the signets which indicate the professors.
16) The computer chief should be rotated yearly and given a
new post so that people do not know who is the head.
17) Registration (fee) should be abolished. The resources in
the university alone could permit students to go to school there with no fee
harassment. If there is no bursary at least, the students should not be made to
vomit fees when they don’t even have what to eat. The university should involve
itself in fund raising schemes and income raising activities to substantiate or
subsidize its expenditures.
18) Any student caught cheating his name and picture should
be put in the university journal and be suspended for two semesters.
19) Professor should refrain from giving very low grades to
20) Invigilators should not invigilate subjects they have an
idea or relationship.
21) No professor should be authorized to organize a private
class.; not even his student, be it in or out of the campus.
22) The "polycops" of professors should be sold in
the library and not by they themselves.
23) The number of clubs should be limited and only those
with renditions be permitted to exist. The clubs should sponsor the university
and not the reverse
Land and Houses
24) All university land should be demarcated with the fence
and illegal occupants dislodged with immediate effect.
25) A campaign against mediocrity, vice, fraud, theft be
carried out twice each semester at the beginning of each semester. Here I will
volunteer my services. Just call or write me
26) Draconian measures should be taken against infractors
for examples will be better than precepts.
27) A punctuality officer be made to randomly inspect
offices at 7:30 a.m. in
order to detect late comers. Habitual late comers should face a deduction in
salary and if possible termination
28) The student should each year elect their
“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk).
Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk).
"It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you."
Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).