Saturday, August 18, 2012

Yaounde University1 In 1997 & 2001.

University of Yaoundé I
Considering the Head of state's last speech, we thought the government was bent at extirpating corruption which has eaten into our nation like a cankerworm. Most of our universities are a show window for fraud, extortion, bribery, nepotism and unconsciousness of service. The manufacturing industries are the professors, students, administration, and unskilled personnel. I crave your indulgence to lend me your earnest and fervent attention, so I can excoriate askewness. Canards could be repeated lies gaining belief, but these, yes these, are more than bundles of fabrications meticulously interwoven to derogate the humble personality of whosoever. Obviously, because of the overwhelmingly detailed facts, you will know I spent a lot of money in my investigation.
Cheats, who are animated by somatism, obscurantism and paranoia, adumbrate our universities like a false prophet oversees his church. To resist fraud with our blood is less the cost and damage of taciturn. As such, I do not blame the students for taking into the streets to strike. The students must increase their strikes frequencies.
Therefore, we all need to be sensitized. I guess some renovation has been effectuated in the universities since the strike actions. Mindful of the recent renovations of the university structures and programs, I want to believe that the first thing should not be these larks but the mentality. We cannot read it but can see what germinates from there. The heart is corrupt, deceitful and desperately wicked that the wicked man will see no good in the beautiful structures and academic programs if not of "burning". I hereby assume all the risk to unfold the contaminated parts of this university. Again, corruption is the palmerworm that has eaten into the administrators, students, teachers and laborers alike.
The Restaurant

The university restaurant’s workers arrange with students who come with small market bags or deep pans and pots as if to buy repasts. They give the ticket, and the cheats fill the containers. After work, they request their booty from the accomplice student where they take 2/3 and the student 1/3. Some negotiate with children about 12 years old who enter under the fence, collect the food and go out. At times, the restaurateurs themselves put-it under the fence pass round through the gate, turn round and go collect their spoils. The famous fence is a tramway for oil, tomatoes, bags of rice and beans to make a "Long March" from the university to the quarters. At times, the workers stamping the tickets voluntarily leave their seats to hamper the smooth circulation of the queue and students who must have wasted two hours to get a meal  ‘Se decourage ‘ to attend lectures. That means much food is left for them to take home. Some wise ones only retard service while there is food. They don't serve and many irascible students leave abandoning behind much food. In such apotheosis and incompuction, they declare, "much food has remained today. We won!" Logically and humanly speaking, if left, it will be bad, and it cannot be thrown when their children are moribund in the house like samples from Ethiopia. The intendant finally authorizes them to share the food.
Let me brush over the quality. Unwashed rice is cooked with all the beetles, gravel and cobwebs on earth. If it was not the grace of God, then the university would have been moving five deaths weekly. The environment is similar to a modern pigsty.


The institution is proud of student hostels which has really helped some of us. Having stayed there for two successive years (F4-1994 and A2O6-1995) my keyboard is so holy to type all what I saw.
A student is supposed to be qualified after an eclectic consideration of their files so we are told. For heaven sake, there were and should be people staying there without a file. They only establish one after having integrated the room. Even non students stay legally there. I even knew a banker who was working with Credit Agricole staying there. The Individual Rooms (chambres individuelles) were solely restricted to Third Year and above students while the communal rooms were the property of Year One and Two. To my greatest surprise, my former classmate in Room 201, 1993/94 was in year two and she confirmed it was her second year which means she entered there in Year One.
To get an individual room is a jungle affair reserved for the fittest or robusts. Why should the child of a minister come to stay in the hostel? Worst of it, the content of his house; fridge, television set and deck, complete complex musical set and a woolen carpet of about 30,000 FCFA all proof that he/she does not need that hostel. I thought the hostels are for poor students, or those whose parents are afar. Even when your name futures on the board as being a potential occupant of a room, that may just be the beginning of your battle for integration. I quite remember I spent almost three weeks out after having paid my rents for six months simply because I could not oi1 the lips of the caretakers or "motivate" them. One serious headache was a neighbor I met in F4 (communal room). He was not only a magician but allergic to asexuality. I reported the matter to the authority who instead colluded with him and boorishly told me "va negocier avec lui".
The richest and most important personality in any country goes to the toilet (vanity of vanities).That at least is where chairman Biya and I are the same. You smile don’t you? Unfortunately, very few toilets function because deleterious students damaged them, and no repairs have been carried out.
Students have smoldered most of their tables and floors with their electric stoves. Some rooms don't even have light. Everything at this level is individually and personally done. Out-going students steal the starters and sockets. On the other hand, the carpenters, plumbers and electricians are mere spectators in the ongoing hocus-pocus. Before a repair is effectuated, students tip or bribe them and they end up extorting the public. My question now is what is their purpose there? And why have they a salary?

The Admission OFFICE

The Admission Office is really a frustrating wagon propelled by a fraud locomotive piloted in those days by one Essono. Riff-raffs and ragamuffins are recruited to work there because of their “special relationships”. Transcripts change themselves, marks undergo fermentation from 6/20 to 16/20 and failures metamorphosed to passes. There was no punishment for copy work except those unfortunate ones.  If you have never seen fraud and corruption in person, I do beseech your presence there. To collect a single transcript for the past year especially previous years to 1994 will take you at least six months to a year accompanied by a thousand francs to clear the muddy road. You smile don’t you?

My shrewd perspicacity thinks of their vitiated etiquette that they must expectorate to win respect. Not only do they become mobile libraries with textbooks, carefully packed in their overcoats but they have "boards" or "cordillions." In the midst of all this mess, they establish "fronts" for fraud. The girls voluntarily hand in their peacemakers to even their married professors (not to talk of those mongrels and voluble student professors). No wonder AIDS quickly killed some of them (ask the English Department). The doctorate and Maîtrise students are corrupt to the bones operating as commercial agents between the professors and students. At times, these same students write for one another or negotiate with their customers who advise them to take home their failed papers, rewrite the same stuff on a clean sheet of paper and they gain 15/20 instead of the previous 7/20. The doctorate and Maîtrise students asked to invigilate become pastime teachers in the hall. They teach mostly girls though. The scraggly boys negotiate with silver and gold.


Professors organize private classes in the same subjects they teach in school. If they themselves don't organize it, they send someone else ahead whereby they only go there as visiting teachers. If they cannot go, they send their student professor. The fees for the private classes are charged so high that, once you pay, you have tacitly bought your Unit Value (U.V). At times, the professors ask students to buy their "polycops" and they register the names of their buyers. When this fails, a quota is officially set with other students from other departments acting as errand boys. When all efforts become abortive, they mystify their U.V. so that many students fail and deliberately come for “consultation”. Papers to be marked in school are secretly carried to the hostel or Bonamousadi where candidates decipher their calligraphy and then pay some money ranging from 1000 CFA upwards like was the case of Formation Bilingue in 1995/96 in H90 and LMA 2 Novel 1993/94 beside Manda Fils' house (Obili) respectively. To promote fraud, students don’t have access to their papers and when they are writing they are attributed signets by some professors. Why was the colonel’s wife who copied my assignments have more marks than I. At times, I did the same homework she copied, but she passed while I failed. How?  People like Gakoue of the English Department (scrambled name to spare him the shame) will tear your paper and claim you did not write. If you did not write, where did he get the failed grade he registered on your name? For two years he kept tearing a student's final exam papers and the student kept failing the same UV until a lady  to whom he boasted revealed his sadism. Gentleman, I am sparing you the shame by keeping your name. Why do we keep giving students low grades? That is a big handicap for admission into foreign universities.

How do they promote the progress of our institution? Are they not merely sources of expenditures without incomes? Take for instance the university music club. It is a house for paranoids and somatists who see the university as a no-man’s-land. What have they done with the money they organize concerts? That should be a great source of income for the university and not the plunder of wretched students with registrations fees.

The Land

The university land is occupied by any solipsist. Why should we be absentee landlords when we really need land to erect many more classrooms. We lack classrooms so much so that students stand in Amphitheaters to take notes. Such overcrowding is a hazard to good health and conducive learning environment. Who is occupying the land in Me1en , Obi1i , Bonamousssadi and Ngoa-ke1le. More so, who is staying in the self­-contained university houses? And who is supposed to stay there? However, I believe the following propositions if applied body and soul we wi11 escape the Tantalus myth. If these reforms are not implemented students should continue striking.

Though these propositions are originally for Yaounde 1 they could be applied to other universities too. 


1) A private non-profit organization be assigned the volunteer status to control most of the university property and curb down vice.

2) No unreasonable stoppages should be seen when food is ready.

3) All students should be entitled to two meals at most and the quantity checked. Any child or worker caught putting things across the fence should be sacked and prosecuted.

4) No worker carries more than a certain quantity of food. All remnants should be given to students. This will daunt workers from delaying thinking they will carry food.  Announcements should be made that at a certain time, students could pass and see if there is still food.
5) Any student who destroys anything in his room; toilet, locker, table, should replace what is spoiled. If not, their transcripts or certificates should be retained until they clear out their debts.

6) No Year One or Two student should be permitted for whatever reason to occupy an individual room if that is against the rules and regulations of the logistics department.

7) The students whose father is rich, is a minister or those whose parents live in Yaoundé should not be authorized to occupy a room in the “Cite”

8) For rents to be efficiently recovered, a notice should be pasted for general check at 8-9 p.m. Any student not found in his room and without a photocopy of receipt of payment on the door, should be treated as a runaway. The door should be broken, important assets carried from the room and key replaced. To collect the things, he must pay his rents and the cost of door repair.

9) Students with electrical, plumbing, carpentry problems should inform the authorities and after repairs, both the student and technician making sure the repairs are carried out sign a form. Each technician must carry out a given number of repairs per day. More so, students with those skills should be used (towards their registration fee) than outsiders

10) A student who absconds with rents should be deprived of his Certificate or transcripts. His transcripts should be transferred to the Lodging and Infrastructure Department where he would collect them only after settling his debts.

11) Rooms should be surprised and if after three appearances, it is not the student whose name is on the list, the present occupant should be evicted.

12) Employers should train their workers on how to detect false certificates so that meaning will be giving to those going to school.

Admissions Office

13) Names of those allegedly called degree holders for the past ten years should be removed from the office of the rector and their names and marks be compared with what the Dean and Heads
Departments have. If they do not match, the computer head should be prosecuted for having sold certificates.

14) Henceforth, all test papers be submitted to the Head of Department after the marks have been registered. Students should be authorized to consult their papers and see their grades.

15) A Non-profit organization be permitted to read some of the scripts to unravel the signets which indicate the professors.

16) The computer chief should be rotated yearly and given a new post so that people do not know who is the head.

Student and Professors

17) Registration (fee) should be abolished. The resources in the university alone could permit students to go to school there with no fee harassment. If there is no bursary at least, the students should not be made to vomit fees when they don’t even have what to eat. The university should involve itself in fund raising schemes and income raising activities to substantiate or subsidize its expenditures.

18) Any student caught cheating his name and picture should be put in the university journal and be suspended for two semesters.

19) Professor should refrain from giving very low grades to students.

20) Invigilators should not invigilate subjects they have an idea or relationship.

21) No professor should be authorized to organize a private class.; not even his student, be it in or out of the campus.

22) The "polycops" of professors should be sold in the library and not by they themselves.


23) The number of clubs should be limited and only those with renditions be permitted to exist. The clubs should sponsor the university and not the reverse

Land and Houses

24) All university land should be demarcated with the fence and illegal occupants dislodged with immediate effect.

25) A campaign against mediocrity, vice, fraud, theft be carried out twice each semester at the beginning of each semester. Here I will volunteer my services. Just call or write me

26) Draconian measures should be taken against infractors for examples will be better than precepts.

27) A punctuality officer be made to randomly inspect offices at 7:30 a.m. in order to detect late comers. Habitual late comers should face a deduction in salary and if possible termination

28) The student should each year elect their representatives.

PA Hamilton Ayuk

“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

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