Wednesday, August 29, 2012

If a man seized and married his best friend's wife, does God consider them married?


Marie-Anne Thiebaud and Robert "Mutt" Lange

Shania Twain and Frédéric Thiébaud
When I see dalliances pell-mell like these by supposed Christians and pastors, I wonder what evil I did to my parents that they did not name me Angel Gabriel or Angel Michael. The acts of these people seem like they had a heart transplant with Satan’s blood. Surprisingly, I see them on Facebook still talking “God.” I know we are saved by grace, but grace does not exempt us from good works, to say the least! I will use only the Bible to answer this question by horizontally interpreting the Old Testament (OT) with the New Testament (NT).
In my days as a preacher and teacher, I have heard and seen best friends snatch their friend’s wives or husbands from afar. However, I have never seen someone who was close to me. I saw it in 2007 when a friend of mine’s best friend snatched her husband. Mado was brought to the US by Pat. Things did not go well for Mado, so Pat invited her to spend 5 days with them. Mado did not only seize the opportunity, but she seized Pat’s husband. Mado and Pat’s husband Patrick now live in Missouri in the same house her best friend lived as husband and wife. The next one was Pastor Billong who seized his best friend’s wife. It was also a similar scenario as Billong was brought to America with the help of his friend. One day, he went to South Africa for a conference for two weeks. One week, four days, he called the wife and told her that he was coming home. She told him that she had decided to change her life, so she would call him back. That elusive call did not come. When the other pastor came, his wife and Billong had sold `1and moved out of the condo, and they have bought another house. He met a Mexican who had bought the Condo, and he spared him two weeks to gather himself.
Housemaids are good at snatching the husbands of their mistresses and later marrying them. Many stars like Marie-Anne Thiebaud seized Robert "Mutt" Lange from Shania Twain- her best friend and boss. In her desire to find healing, Shania fell in love with Marie-Anne’s estranged husband Frédéric. Shania and Frédéric finally got married in January 20011, leaving the two cheaters- unfaithful husband and wife to form the couple of the unfaithfuls.
At least one thing everyone will agree with me is that divorce is not a good phase in life, no matter who faces it. God too even hates it (Mal 2:16). The post affects are cumbersome, yet does it mean that because God hates divorce, He has prohibited remarriage? Even if you killed a man and took away his wife, there could be marriage if the two enter into a covenant. Their past does not factor into the covenant. It is merely remarriage. 
            Many people are confused, and they help to confuse others about digamy also called deuterogamy. Contrary to what people say that the Bible prohibits digamy, we see that neither the OT nor the NT reveals so. The Bible does not even prohibit divorce. The only occasion where there was no bargain for divorce at all was if the woman became the man’s wife by rape. If a man raped a woman, and she was forced upon him as a wife, he could never divorce her (Deut 22:28-29). The Americans say, " what's all that marrying your rapist?" Cultures were different, my friends. However, there are two factors that could allow divorce: infidelity (Mt 19:9) and desertion (I Cor 7:14-15). God approves deuterogamy.  Don’t panic. Follow me slowly.
In Deuteronomy 21:10-14, God tells the Israelites that if they captured a beautiful female as a prisoner of war whom they love as wive, they should take her home, shave her head, pare her nails, take off her captive clothes  and let her stay in their house and mourn their parents for a month. After the mourning period is over, they can start to have sex with her as a wife. However, if they happen to lose interest in the woman, then they should let her go without treating her as an object or merchandize. Therefore, God did not accept that a man treats a woman as an inferior being, but he did accept that if couples lost love, they could part company.
In Deut 24:1-4, it even states it clearly that if a man loses love for the wife, he should give her divorce papers. If she has been lawfully divorced, “she may go and be another man's wife”. That is, she is free to remarry. If her second husband divorces or dies, her first husband cannot remarry her (Deut 24:1-4). Thus, digamy was against the same or previous spouse and not against future spouses. Examples that God abhor are Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton; Natalie Wood and Robert Wagner; Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee; Eminem and Kim Scott-Mathers; Marie Osmond and Stephen Craig and many other examples who went back to remarry their exes.  
During the mosaic era, the law required adulterers to be put to death (Lev 20:10), but during the epoch of grace, Christ said and says that adulterers should be forgiven. In Jer 3: 8-20, there is an image of an adulterous Israel who is divorced. Her divorce did not still discourage Judah her sister. Instead, God asks Israel to return from her adulterer; thus, forgiving and giving her another chance with the only condition that she repents of her sin. That indicates that although adultery is a grievous sin, yet it is forgivable. 
Therefore, as much as we would want to have those who snatched our spouses to be punished to death, the Bible does not show us so. If they repent with the same snatched spouse, enter into a new covenant between them, I believe they are forgiven. God will still recognize them as married. If God will not recognize them as married, then adultery is an unpardonable sin.
We will even be surprised to hear that God had asked Hosea to love Gomer: the former wife of a friend who was an adulterer (Hosea 3:1-5). She was divorced. She repented of her dalliance but was not yet taken back by the husband.  He is forewarned that Gomer will be adulterous, but she must still be loved. That depicted God’s relationship with Israel who was loved by God but still worshiped other Gods.  As much as we may want to condemn those who commit adultery and snatch the spouses of their friends, this analogy reveals we cannot do that because God does not look at them that way. They have sinned. That is true, but there is still forgiveness. Grace will superabound when and where sin abounds (Rom 5:20).
            Despite the fact that the degamists who snatched the spouses of their friends or even enemies are forgiven, they still have to ask for forgiveness from those whom they have hurt to hoard heavenly blessings. They must drop their gifts at the altar to make peace (Mt 5:23-24), else whatever service or good deed they do is regarded as filthy rags (Is 64:4). Since their sin is a non-restitutionable offense, the only decorous thing they can do is at least ask for forgiveness from the person whose spouse they snatched. It is heartless to just go as if nothing has happened because God has forgiven you.
In Hosea 2:2 we saw God instead adjuring the children to plead with their mother to abandon her adultery rather than repudiate her. No doubt, she will be abandoned if she refuses to repent, but until such time, forgiveness still flows. And, any time she will repent and forsake her evil ways, she will obtain mercy. Remember that Jesus although accepts divorce, does not encourage it (Mt 5:32). If a wife leaves her husband to marry another man (bigamy), she commits adultery only when that husband is still alive (Rom 7:2-3). 
It is important to understand that in this case, it will not be physical death as marriage is a covenant between two parties. If one person leaves, they are considered dead since sex is like the blood on which the covenant reposed. If without the shedding of blood there was no remission of sins, there was no consummation of marriage without sex. Marriage is the covenant in blood sexually administered. Therefore, the adulterer kills himself or herself and is only resurrected back into the covenant when they repent. If they do not repent, eventhough they are alive, they are considered dead and the other partner if free to remarry.

Until then, eventhough a man snatches his friend’s wife; God will still consider them married if they repent.




St, Arrey of Ntenako.

“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

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