Friday, May 18, 2012

“Should A Spouse Stay Married If the Other Person Is Abusing Him/Her and repenting?”

If I understood the question correctly, it will be “should a spouse divorce an abusive but repentant husband or wife?” As far as the permission to divorce is concerned, there are only two of those explicitly stated in the bible: infidelity and desertion. Abuse falls under poor behavior. There are many men and especially women being abused in their different marriages. Some men insult (verbal), neglect (emotional) or even beat (physical) their wives right in front of their children or complete strangers. Some women abuse their husbands emotionally by withholding sex from them. Therefore, I will show you what the Bible prescribes for such cases. If you are not a Christian, I will also show you what the Bible says you should do. While you forgive him or her each time he or she repents, you still have to take the necessary steps to end the abuse. Those are the steps and a prescription of some radars to avert abusive relationships. From the interpretative conclusion, you should be able to peacefully make a decision whether to stay married or not.
Abuse touches me directly because I had a sister who was abused. If she had followed my advice, perhaps she would still have been alive today. I still mourn for her time and again. I think that abuse should be considered as desertion. That is because initially the spouse had promised to love you with all their heart, in sickness or in health, in poverty or riches, and in joy or in sorrow, but they have deviated from that, and they are now showing you hate. Renegading on one’s promise is desertion and in that case, the victim should leave (divorce). On this ground I advised my sister several times to leave. At first she left, and I paid the rents for a whole year and gave her money to start a business. Nevertheless, sometimes since one can never know what makes a woman to fall in love, she always went back. She even abandoned all her things in the new apartment and followed the same man. Such was the dance they regularly performed until we all gave up, and it finally led to her death as the wayward man brought HIV into the home that took both of them.Nonetheless, let us go directly to our main passage.  
Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican (Matthew 18: 15-17).”
Together we will formulate a theory from the interpretation of the above passage as we peruse it. It says there are four steps to follow if someone hurts you. Step one. Tell him or her. Some people may not even know that you are being abused. Do not store it in your heart. If they persist in their abuse even after you have told them, then you go to step two.
            In step two, you should have a witness or two as you tell the person. That could be a church leader, counselor, family heads, or trusted friends whose counsel and decision both of you will respect. If after this meeting, there is no change, then you go to step three.
Step three is for the Christian. Go to church and report it so that the leadership of the church will deal with it (I Cor 6:1; 5). Those who do not go to church could use the community structures for conflict resolutions. It is no more a close secret. The church should be able to discipline the brother or sister. It is useless repeating steps one and two all the time. The fowl that does not heed to instructions will hear it when it is in the pot of soup. Now, if he/she does not listen to the church or community structure to stop his/her misbehavior, then the church/community and you should cut him/her away (Rom 16:17, I Cor 5:11; Rom 16:17; 1 Thes 3:6-7; 14).
Why on earth will he/she be good for marriage if you think he/she is no good to be dealt with as a believer? That is when 2 Corinthians 6:14 comes in. It reads, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?” Once you cut him off and consider him a heathen, you must realize that two heathens do not take the church as their judge; they use the court of law. The law has already established procedures for those who are married and want to cut off their spouses form their lives. That is when step five comes in.
Step five got both the Christian and non-Christian: The victim should talk to the authorities (I Cor 6). If you call the police, it will be the beginning of the government entering into the case. Now you must remember that there are serious consequences when you involve the state. The ramifications may lead you to lose the marriage and not only lose the marriage but also destroy the next person.  Remember that if he/she is convicted of abuse, he/she may never have a good job because the law is there to punish defaulters (Rom 13:3-4, 1 Pet 2:14). If you intend to keep th emarriage, then keep the law out of it and pray!
Here is how you avoid abuse. The first is selecting the best person. This is especially to the women; marry the person who loves you most and not the one you love best. The one who loves you most will worship you and always feels grateful to God having you unlike the person whom you love most. He will take your love for granted.
The next thing is to set boundaries in your marriage. Many couples don’t have boundaries. Your spouse should know that there are consequences for violating those boundaries.
Strive to nurture your love daily. The presence of love will see abuse fly through the window. Abuse strives best in an environment where love has traveled. If love is present, abuse has to leave for they have vowed never to be roommates.
The last but not the least, strive to maintain the family structure. Call both parents or if you do not have, call some relatives wh are successful in their marriages and share the little difficulties you are facing in your home with them. Dysfunctional family structures encourage abuse too. Some men treat their wives abusively because that is the way they were brought up. They do not even know any better. Perhaps in looking at other adults or even mentored by an elderly person, they could become great husband and wife.

Until then, I hope that my answer will bring peace and a lasting solution to their marriage.

St Arrey of Ntenako. 

“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Biya and CPDM Invade and repress The People Of Mamfe.

A young man called Ashu Maxim Beteck, born by Pa Beteck popularly known as Petit Papa, brother of Petit Paul was shot three times on the head up to scattering the head, the reason why he was buried without further delay. Ashu was a Ben sikin driver whose bike was stolen from him by the army officer. In an attempt to steal the bike, Ashu resisted, and the army officer shot him, stole the bike, and his diurnal turnover. The Victim hails from Besengue Quarters and leaves behind an ailing mother with a high blood pressure that has been aggravated because of this incident. Knowing how the government usually reacts when a uniform person commits such a crime in Cameroon, the people wanted jungle justice. The inhabitants of Mamfe took to the streets and marched to the Gendarmerie office demanding that the killer be brought to justice. Fearing a domino effect, the government sent in soldiers from Bamenda and Buea to repress and oppress the protesters.
As if not enough beating them with gun barrels, truncheons, kicking them with boots, sexually molesting women and children, that night alone more than 62 people were arrested and detained in the Mamfe Central Prison. Please note very well that they were taken to prison and not a jail. The arrests started at 3A.M on Thursday morning. Many old people even dotards were arrested via Kalekale. The doors of their homes were demolished, and some of them the force took down entire sections of the house. The young people were arrested, tortured, made to sleep in running gutters and potholes as a means to break their morale.
As of Friday, only 14 people remained at the prison as Mukeror Denise Tambe confirmed. Amongst the 14 left, none of them had anything to do with the protest. Thus, the government used this occasion to clamp down on political dissidents as most of the areas for this roundup were in opposition stronghold of opposition presidential candidate Ayah Paul. All of this by the same government our elites raised 77 million to support the president. The intriguing thing which cannot be a coincidence is that, most of the repression took place in the opposition strongholds in John Holt and Small Mamfe.
Here is where the politics comes in. Keep your ears wide opened.  
Why was the government so quick to intervene when there was a war between Akwaya people and no one intervened? Why was the round up done only in certain quarters and not all the quarters in Mamfe and Besongabang? Why were some people detained even though they had nothing to do with the protests? Three words: politics of intimidation.
Since when did Mamfe become Acadelma? Since when did we start to sing “let us eat and drink for tomorrow we die?” We fought and defeated the Germans in the Mpaw Manku wars. We established ourselves as beacons of enlightenment. We were solid in unity and purpose. Here is the time. Behold your clarion call. Would Manyu people allow that boy to die in vain? One boy died in Tunisia, and the rest is history. If you cannot fight militarily, at least fight politically and call your parents at home. Tell them, no more CPDM.  
My appeal to you Manyu people is that, no matter how much you love a candidate, you must not vote him or her if he or she is with the government and CPDM. The government should compensate the people for the loss and also look after the mother. I ask the people to be their brother's keeper to prevent further arbitrary arrests.Can you learn a thing from the Oguni people? Read , be informed and the truth will set you free!

Until then, let Ashu not die in vain.

St Arrey of Ntenako.

“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

“Is Sex A Physical Act Or Spiritual Act, And Why Is It Against The Body?”

The question is usually linked to the fact that the Bible considers sexual sins as the only sin against the body. Why? Our study will be based on I Corinthians 6:18-20. Every normal person is excited about sex and rightly so because sex is the easiest way two people can knit their spirits together. Surprisingly, sex seems anathema even in the bible and a taboo discourse amongst contemporary cultures. The Bible talks about sex mostly in figurative language despite it being part of our humanity. I know most of you know about sex more than it knows itself, yet the dynamics and mechanics of sex have eluded you too. So, why don’t we talk about it?
There are two types of sex in the bible: licit and illicit sex. Illicit sex is sodomy, adultery, rape, bestiality, prostitution, and fornication, and licit sex is legal heterosexual sex that correlates with the word of God. The act of illicit sex is what destroys the body, and the consequences are amplified in the bible lengthily (Lev 18:22; Mt. 5:27-28, 32; Mk 7:20-23; Acts 15:29; 15:29; 1 Cor. 5:1–5; 9–11; 1 Cor. 6:9–11, 13, 18; 7: 2; 10:8-10; 2Cor. 12:21; Gal 5:19; Eph 4:19; 5:3-5; 1 Thes. 4:3;Heb. 13:4; 1 Pet. 4:1–3; Jude 1:7; Rev. 2:14–16; 20-23).
Sex is not a physical act; it is a spiritual act. You must note why sexual sin is against the body. I want you to pay close attention because I will not answer this question again. When we believe in Christ, we become one spirit in body (I Cor 6:17). We demonstrate our union in water baptism (Rom 6:4-6) and then proceed to acquire spiritual power in Holy Ghost Baptism (Mt 3:11; Mk. 1:8; Lk. 3:16; Jn. 1:33; Acts 1:5, 2, 11:16; I Cor. 12:13). Thus, we are married to God. When we commit sexual immorality, we have sinned. It is like adultery; meanwhile, “thou shall not commit adultery (Ex 20:7).” It means that we have broken the vow; whereas marriage brings oneness( Gen 2:24). At that moment, we create two bodies. That is why you are asked to flee rather than resist (I Cor 6:18; Col 3:5; 2 Tim 2:22; 1 Pet 2:11). It is the only sin where you cannot stand to fight; you must only flee because no mortal; no matter how disciplined and holy they have been, has ever fought and won the sin of sex. To win the fight, you must not even fight it; you must flee from it. The church fathers used a phrase “Alia vitia pugnando, sola libido fugiendo vincitur” meaning that “all other sins could be conquered by fighting, but sexual sin is by flight only.”
Now you understand that when sex takes place, we entangle our spirits with the individual we are having sex. Do you remember “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? (2 Cor 6:14)?” The energy from sex creates babies; an act limited to God only because man was made for the sole purpose of worshiping God only (Eccl 12:13). That energy was the energy of life that He breathed through the nostrils of man and man became a living soul. Like a cocoon, sex envelopes our emotions, spirit and soul; in short body, soul and spirit.Therefore, if a man is not married to woman or  he does not intend to, he should not have sex with her.
That is why sex without commitment rather than bring us fulfillment, it instead brings us depression because it goes beyond commingling. Many people make the mistake of thinking that sex is love; it is not. If sex was love, then Hollywood will be in a different predicament, but if love was shoes, they will charter all sizes. Love is an abstraction that is exemplified in mainly sex for legal lovers. Its energy converts the concept of love from abstract to concrete. Here is how you convert that love “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love (Prov 5:18-19).” If you liked my article, you can make a donation.
Until then, beware of sex; it is a spiritual act.

St Arrey of Ntenako.
“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk).
Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk).
"It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." (Hamilton Ayuk)
 Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

Monday, May 14, 2012

“How can a preacher ask a woman for a kiss; is that biblical?”

Many people have always wondered whether it is appropriate to ask a girl to kiss you or even greet the opposite sex with a kiss. Sisters in Christ always say they will “give you only a hug” as if a hug is holier than a kiss. Does the Bible accept or reject kisses? Is it that our syneideisis is more righteous than the recommendations of the Bible, or is it merely sanctimony? Should Christians even hug each other? This lesson will answer those questions as we enter into an age where good is evil and evil is good.   
The Old Testament shows that children kissed their parents (Gen 27:26; 2 Sam 209), lovers kissed each other (Sgs 8:1). The New Testament on the other hand shows that traitors kissed their victims to identify them (Mt 26:48) in what generally called the Kiss of Death. Adoring fans kissed their heroes as Jesus approved a woman kissing his feet (Lk 7:45). The Apostle Paul adjures the Romans, Corinthians and Thessalonians to salute (greet) each other with a holy kiss (Rom 16:16; I Cor 16:20; 2 Cor 13:12; I The 5: 26). That beckons the question: is there anything as a sinful kiss?    
Kissing is a form of greeting in most oriental societies. It is only in the West that every kiss means sex or an erotic relationship. There are many forms of greetings like kissing on both cheeks (French, British, Belgians), shaking hands (Americans, British, Hungarians), nodding the head (Chinese), hugging (Americans, Africans. Latin Americans, Europeans and Australians), and bowing (Japanese). Hence, there are many different forms of greetings in which kissing is amongst.
So, why do some Christians classify kissing as carnal if kissing was a form of greetings in the Old Testament, New Testament, part of the Early church’s greeting style, and contemporary society? It is perhaps because many have misused it. Many female Christians have told brothers in Christ that they prefer to give them a hug than a kiss. In every logical and carnal perception, a hug is more dangerous than a kiss as a hug transfers erotic heat more than a kiss. To me, a hug will easily lead into sin than a kiss, especially because we have already removed French kiss on the table as an option of non-committed couples. For people to passionately kiss each other, they must be in a committed relationship that intends to end in marriage whence they will continue the act to add impetus to their relationship.
Nonetheless, can we say that a hug is inherently evil? It is not at all because the intent in the heart engenders the evil. Those who see evil in the kiss or the hug have the lust in their hearts which upgrades into sin built on a hug or kiss. They do it for sinful purposes or to arouse themselves. Those who use it as a simple form of greetings do not harbor same feelings because “Unto the pure all things are pure: but unto them that are defiled and unbelieving is nothing pure; but even their mind and conscience is defiled Titus 1:15.
However, the bible was not written and cannot be practiced in a cultural vacuum. If we learn “love your neighbor as yourself,” we need people to go and practice the concept else it is abstract knowledge. It is the same thing with greeting each other with a kiss. As much as we will like to greet each other with a kiss, we must be mindful of the culture. If that culture regards kissing as sinful eventhough it is not, we still have to refrain from it until such time when we may have enlightened contenders to know that it is  a mere form of greeting.   
Therefore, Christians can continue greeting each other with a kiss, or hug, or whatever form their culture permits. Those who consider a hug and a kiss can select another method for greetings, perhaps simply handshakes, but they should not condemn those who greet with a hug or a kiss.  

Until then feel free to kiss r hug each other as the Lord permits.

St Arrey of Ntenako. 

“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Limpopo Kratisa

Limpopo lived with his wife of 40 years and 12 kids in Likomba where he will die on July 22, 1986 at 12.00 P.M. He was from a little remote village called Bachuo Ntai (although he was enlightened as if he came from the city of Ntenako). He had lived in Malabo for years. The first three months of his arrival, he was the boulevardier. In those days, Malabo was to Southern Cameroonians as New York is to Africans today. Everyone dreamed of going there, and God had made it possible for Ta Enowfukang. He had taken a nom de guerre or name of adventure: Limpopo Kratisa. Everyone knew he was loaded not only as he came with twelve kids from the same wife, but he also had brought the proceeds of oil money.  His long stay abroad had made him to lose touch with his village. Some hated him, but others loved him. He was always a dividing topic amongst those who knew him. I heard of him too when I was a kid. He had seven daughters. As you know, if the palm tree does not get ripe, birds do not hover on it. Every village or city bird always stopped on Limpopo’s roof. Unfortunately, Limpopo became sick briefly and died just like a chicken attacked by the Newcastle Disease.
Before Limpopo died, he gave his will. The first was that he should never be put on the cargo area of the car. He wanted his coffin to be inside the van or bus with people. Secondly, he wanted to be buried in Likomba. Thirdly, he had willed everything to his wife.  Fourthly, he cautioned the relatives and villagers against shaving his wife’s head as she has been shaved already putting up with him for 40 years and above. The night before he died, he gathered his wife and all twelve kids towards his sick bed and told them this will.
Immediately after he died, his older son informed his uncle who convened other relatives living in Douala, Yaoundé, Limbe, Muea, Ekona, and even those who worked in the Tole Tea Plantations. They all assembled. They decided to take him home, but the wife and kids rejected and stated his will. The family head said Limpopo was like a chief, so he will not be buried outside no matter what he told them all, so they ignored his will.
The wake was arranged, and the next day they had rented a 19 seater bus to take him to his village in Bachuo Ntai. They took the coffin and place it on the cargo spot on top of the bus because someone people did not want to sit with a coffin in the bus. Without going 50 kilometers, Limpopo’s coffin slipped and fell by the road side. The people took it and retied it back up, this time with stronger ropes. Then after about 100 kilometers, the coffin fell off the car again, this time with Limpopo’s corpse out of the coffin smiling. When one old woman saw it, she went into the bush, cut a whip and began whipping Limpopo’s corpse. Americans will say “abuse of a dead body.” People were praising her “ ngore nkwoh (woman tiger), mgbokondem (princess), ngoreh papa (papa’s wife),   and tamfang (thorny tree).” The corpse became red. They retied the corpse back on top of the bus and as they went 25 miles, the coffin began shaking and shaking, and the driver veered into the bush into a little creek where 12 of the people died.
A timber truck that was coming from Mamfe towed the survivors out of the bush. They took his corpse from the cargo place and put it inside the buss and then made a U Turn back to Likomba where he was buried.  The same day that he was buried, he appeared to his sister and told her that he speared their life because they were not in accordance with the rest else they too would have gone.  He told her that he was going back to Malabo and will write them. That night, like a spirit leopard that visited a village, Limpopo disappeared into the thick bush.
 Perhaps next time people will learn to respect the dead’s will. When someone dies and leaves a will, do not change that will. Some houses have been known to be hunted because someone disobeyed a will. At times some have swindled the dead man’s will and calamity upon calamity had befallen them.

Until then, do not alter people’s wills.

St Arrey of Ntenako“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Akiaekeme: the village Gossiper.

As I was driving last month, I remembered Akiaekeme, a divorced spinster who even had fewer men talking to her about marriage. She had news about everyone’s marriage, everyone’s child, everyone’s husband, everyone’s job and everyone’s life. She knew whose husband was beating who, who was sleeping with who or whose child had dropped out of school. Perhaps she was not happy that others were not divorced like her or were going to get married and graduate from the Princesses of Our Fathers (a spinsters’ club) she promoted with every pint of her blood. When she got a victim, she took her to the gossip laboratory and by the time the victim came out, hell would be a comfort zone or a familiar territory.
I don’t know if it was a Thursday or a Friday, but I know that it was towards the end of the week that Adesuwa (Benin; meaning the crown of beauty) visited her, and she told her that her Husband was sleeping with her cousin.  “Did I not say it/” Akiaekeme exclaimed. “These men are never serious!” She buttressed her point with her Ido accent because both of them were from Benin, although they lived in Douala.  
It is unknown if Adesuwa was aware of the Iago syndrome in Shakespeare Othello. If you have not read it, please do so because some of your problems may be ensuing from the ignorance thereof. The Iago syndrome is a desire to heap schadenfreude on the person whom you think has escheated you from your lebensfreude. It is also the spirit of excessive obsession with the sex lives of others. Akiaekeme did not want Adesuwa (her best friend or so it seemed) or any other young girl in the quarter to marry. As a result, she fabricated stories to destroy their relationships with the pretext that she was protecting them from hurt. She pretended to build a fence around them to prevent sorrow from coming in, but she left a chink through which she surreptitiously smuggled sorrow in.  Adesuwa failed to see her covert war, although she was aware of her fiends’ overt wars. 
Othello like Adesuwa was not aware of the Iago syndrome, so he thought that Iago was protecting him. Unfortunately, it was Iago who poisoned his mind because he was mad that Othello, his general had bypassed him to nominate Michael Cassio as his lieutenant and also because he thought Othello was sleeping with his wife, Emilia. Akiaekeme exploited dexterously Adesuwa’s naivety just like Iago did with Othello. She will say, “What I just saw; my mouth is too holy to speak.” Adesuwa is held captive as she adjures her for the revelations. Akiaekeme will pretend that she doesn’t want to hurt her. She will say, “Swear that you will not be hurt.”  Without waiting for her to finish, Adesuwa will retort, “Are you doubting my womanhood? I swear my mami and even my dead father. I swear my grandparents in the grave.” Then she extended her little finger to add impetus.
Akiaekeme (is a Benin name that means “go on and wait for me”) began narrating but suddenly stopped en media res. Then she resumed speaking and stopped again mid-way.  She said “Adesuwa, don’t worry, you will see it yourself. I don’t want to be the want who destroyed your marriage.”  Adesuwa became more agitated and curious. Akiaekeme finally told her a concocted canard which could be sustained from the suspicion she had built. “It is all over the town that your husband, Tom is sleeping with Vera, your cousin. Yes, your Vera of all people.” Now Adesuwa wants to explode. That is the Iago syndrome I told you before. Beware!
Thenceforth, Adesuwa is her slave. She will control and manipulate her as she wants.
I told Adesuwa that even if she caught them flagrantly, she must know one thing; love conquers all. She must weigh the goodness from her husband and the evil he just committed and then decide which one weighs more. Do not tell me your relationship was hinged on a one time error.  Jealous people are quick to judge and condemn even when the body of evidence is all lies.
If infidelity actually occurred, one must learn to forgive and not bring it back when they are angry. The righteous easily forgive; the sinners easily condemn and judge. Jesus taught us that lesson when they brought to him in an open show a woman caught in adultery. He asked them for the sinless people to lapidate her first. From her greatest accusers to the least, they all absconded.  It is not like you do not have alternatives; you can either divorce or stay, but you should forgive.
I told Adesuwa that the third phase was to find out why her husband looked for sex outside.  Is it that he did not have enough sex at home or just that she made the place like a war zone that even with the sex, he did not feel love, accepted and valued? Or perhaps she was acting like a porcupine; piercing him with her goads that he could not even come around her for the sex. Was it that he had lost interest in her physical beauty because he married her as a tadpole, but she became like a sow. Therefore, Adesuwa, you must remember where you have fallen. Notwithstanding, I am aware that some men will still be unfaithful, no matter what because some allow their sinful nature to overrun them. Nevertheless, at the same time, we know that love conquers all.
Who do you think Adesuwa listened to? She listened to Akiaekeme the village gossiper! Within a short time, she had made Adesuwa a spinster just as she was. Adesuwa lost her home for listening to all those single women like Akiaekeme who deceived her to ruin her marriage because they wanted single company. They appeared happy without but within they were like gall.  Ade, (as she was popularly known) should have remembered the Iago Syndrome. Even if you do not like someone 100%, if you put 100% to like them, you too will soon be inseparable. I only hope Adesuwa’s case has taught us about the Iago Syndrome.
Until then, beware of Iago Syndrome!

St Arrey of Ntenako.

“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

“What Is Blasphemy Against The Holy Spirit?” “I realize you have been avoiding this question."

First and foremost, I don’t avoid questions. I hear that all the time, so this time is not the first.  Theological question are more difficult to answer than secular ones. More so, if I have already answered a question, I do not like coming back to it. Methought I had answered such a question on my blog. Notwithstanding, rather than waste hours trying to search on my blog where I answered it, I have decided to write another one. So here we go. If you are a pastor, church leader or church goer, I am sure you must have heard one or two people ask you what is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. The word “blasphemy” comes from a Greek word blasphçmia meaning vilification: speaking against God or attributing the things of God to the devil.
By refusing a known fact about God or Jesus is refuting the existence of that fact and thus constituting blasphemy. When any one rejects the suffering of Christ (Is 53:3-6; 2 Cor 1:5-7; 15:3; Heb 2:10 5:8; 9:28; I Pet 1:11; 2:24-25; 4:13; 5:1 ), they are blaspheming against God. In other words they are saying the Bible is telling lies and thus, God is a liar. The Bible talks more about the suffering of Christ than the joy of the Master. To negate the existence of his suffering through which we are redeemed means that we are not acknowledging the source of our salvation as such will definitely die in our sins. That is the reason why blaspheming against the Holy Spirit is unpardonable.
Knowingly, blasphemy is when you refute the things of God simply because you have selected a wrong way and want to pursue it to your grave. Unknowing blasphemy is when you contest certain things simply because you did not know. Like some Muslims say Jesus did not die on the cross. That is because they have no knowledge He did since the Koran teaches them differently.
Yet, just as there was a sacrifice for the sin of ignorance, it means that, sin by omission is still punishable. If the punishment is eternal death, so shall it be. So far again the Bible says “And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men everywhere to repent” (Acts 17:30). So we have to reconcile these two statements. That will mean that if you are worrying about the outcome of your sin, if you are on the right track or not despite refuting certain things of God, it shows you have not rejected Jesus. It means you are merely in doubt. The day you believe, it will be regarded as the days of ignorance.                
Consequently, all your sins will be wiped away.  But if you reject it and do not seek to redress your life by believing in Christ, it shows you have selected the unpardonable sin whereby you will never seek for the remissions of your sins which will provoke imputation of Christ’s righteousness on you.

Until then, beware of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.

St Arrey of Ntenako.

“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Review on "Name Origins and Meanings of the Manyu People of Cameroon." James Ashu, Lap Lambert Academic Publishing, 2011.

Do you know how some of you take ghosts names to insult me when you do not like what I write? You do not need to because some of your names are already ghostly enough. I have heard some names that have made me shudder, others have given me goose bumps, and some just sound like insults. Listen to this: Tingilipingili. Now repeat it in slow motion. Tin-gi-li-pin-gi-li. If that is not an insult, what is it? What type of name is that? I heard a man’s name in the hospital “Mr. Snake.” I turned and asked a patient, “What did this man do for his parents to give him such a wicked name?” He looked at me and said, “I know man; that is mean.” You can hear this in class: Laquandasha Lashoshonda. This sounds like the name of an evil goddess. Surprisingly, there are people with even worst names than that. I heard another name Dirtybird. If anyone with such a name annoys me, I will just repeat his name Dirtybird. What type of insults again do you need if that is not one? Some of us are really lucky having good names like Ayuk which means ebullient and promise keeper who is larger than life; a man who talks and walks the talk. Today I will introduce you to both some beautiful and meaningful and some useless and ugly Manyu names. Most of us have names with only two syllables. James Ashu’s book explains Manyu names, their origins, and meanings, so that some of them will select better names like mine for their kids.
 It is a 91 page book divided into 4 chapters and a reference page. Chapter 1 deals with the origins, Chapter 2, the methods of naming children, chapter three understanding name meanings from Ejagham roots, and chapter 4 is a catalog of  Manyu names and their meanings.  This is the section that really concerns some of you. You must read it! The foreword is exquisitely written by one of our traditional scribes, the great, chief Fred Momanyi. This book is really wonderful as it is the first dealing with our names.  Like Ashu himself said “it is a work in progress.” If you are from Manyu, you need it. Even if you are not but do not feel comfortable with your name, you could borrow a better name here to give to your child, so they do not go through the torture and burden you carry daily called name.  
Do you know why Mbos, Balongs, Bafaws of KupeMuanenguba, and some from Meme and Ndian divisions have the same names with Manyu people? In tracing the origins of the Manyu people, Ashu establishes their roots from the Ekoi and that the British used Mgbe Society as their main instrument of administration.  According to Ashu “all sixteen language groups found in present day Manyu division originated from one source, the Ekoi group (P. 13).” With the change of colonial administrators, the British renamed Ossidinge Mamfe.  Mamfe division was renamed Cross Rover, but the people protested, and the name was changed to Manyu division (P. 15).  What does the name Kembong mean (P. 20)? Do you know why Manyu names do not differentiate between genders? Do you know why both men and women bear the same names? That is “because they believe that children are incarnations of divine spirits or incarnations of spirits of the dead, usually the spirit of dead relatives (P. 23).”
Most Manyu names are usually very long, but they use mostly the first two syllables. For example; Ayukotangnohnjock, the people use Ayuk. The completion of the other four syllables is what they call “mpegheri njyien.” The Manyu people name kids by family, friends or famous people that is why many people have the same names. Some were named according to social events like Ofumgbe (The outing of Ekpe from the bush). They named children by incidents like maternal orphans immediately after birth. That is why you have Baraw (abandoned).
Manyu people in Manyu wonderland used their nom de gueres like Tamfang (thorny tree) or Ako (boulevardier) or Besong they called him Okura (fighter). So the villagers will say Okura Besong as the priest of Effim in Ntenako village.
James Ashu has established a repertoire of names for some of you to know what your names mean. Some of them are really ugly as hell. I feel sorry for those whose name means “excreta (kibi).” Others are simply called mforkibi (King of Excreta). That is eternal insult in the form of a name. Some of them their parents called them ignorance (Kerenghe). If you really want to know what your name, that of your friend, or relative means, please consult the book.
However, because the book covers mostly three divisions, I am launching a competition for Akwaya. Anyone who will compile 200 names from Akwaya Sub-Division before August 31, 2012 will make FCFA 100,000. If you do not win, but your submission is used, you will equitably be compensated financially and also given credit as a contributor.

Until then, did your parents give you a good name?

St Arrey of Ntenako.     

“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

Friday, May 4, 2012

Review on "Alex and the New Shell" Daralyn Brody, CreateSpace, 2011.

It is a 23 page fiction about a hermit crab that outgrew its shell and accidentally knocks off the pearl of an oyster called Ollie in the quest for a new one. He then undertakes the excursion to search, find and return the pearl to its owner.  During this expedition, the crab meets other friends and sympathizers who helped him to find the pearl until he found and returned it.  Alex and the New Shell recalls another book The Call of the Wild (1989) since they explore almost similar themes like the inextricable retiary destiny that mankind finds himself, the constant struggle between primitive instincts and social probity and decorum, the contrast between civilization and the wilderness, and the pendulum state of mankind; now in a group and later in solitude (P. 8, 17, 19).
Alex’s expedition is metaphorical of the latency stage in which we shed away what we get and become even more beautiful as we grow mature explaining perhaps why most people dislike high school pictures. Therefore, the book will be meaningful to children and teenagers.
Deeper, his expedition is symbolic of our spiritual journey whereby we are born in a sinful state and all through our life, we are on a quest to remake ourselves perfect and acquire a more beautiful outer body like Alex. Consequently, the book satisfies an older audience. The shell again is more symbolic of the burden every human being carries. It reminds us of The Pilgrim’s Progress (2011). That burden both physical and spiritual follows Alex everywhere he goes as he realizes that everyone has their own burden even if not the same in nature. Someone in the world is going through something as you see that with Ollie (P. 9), Sandy (P. 11), and Gary (17).
Brody, in succinct tropes and personifications employs the symbols of the crab and other sea animals to convey universal truths.
The application of personification takes the narration from fiction to realism almost as if it is a biography of a little child called Alex and no more Arabian nights. Alex and the New Shell is a social satire in which Brody attempts to speak out against the disappearance of simple etiquettes like greeting those you meet along your way, assisting those in need, and returning to the owner things borrowed or misplaced. Nonetheless, she emphasizes that there are still good people as we see Gary grouper willingly accepts to help Alex take him to Ollie (P. 17).  
Almost as in Moby Dick (1999): man is constantly struggling against fate in the inextricable web of survival of the fittest in which the stronger species eliminate the weaker species as you read Alex say, “ I should hurry up and find a bigger shell that I can hide in before somebody comes along and tries to eat me (P. 5).” Alex has to hide from the pelican  and then menaced by Sandy (a seagull) which is the number one destroyer and killer of crabs. Alex finding a new shell is his complete and total departure from the old to a new more fanciful Alex (P. 23).
Furthermore, Alex and the New Shell's illustration produces a totality of effect that exposes humor and setting.You can find the book at CreateSpace, Amazon, or Barnes and Nobel.

Until then, I will recommend to everyone, church, or schools who are interested in didactic fiction.

St Arrey of Ntenako.  

“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). "It is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you." Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

Is it Biblical for Christians to do In Vitro Fertilization (IVF)?

A Christian sister used In Vitro Fertilization to bear her first child because she was nearing menopause without a child. The church dis...