Thursday, April 19, 2012

Should Christians Date?


"It was first reported that Scarlett Johansson was dating New York ad exec Nate Naylor in January, 2012. A few weeks later they were spotted vacationing together in Hawaii"





I am not of the old school, but I do not believe in dating. To me, dating is a sign of unbelief.  There are many people talking about dating and some even ask you if they can date two or more people simultaneously. Others have become champions of dating until the world now qualifies it a game.  When you ask people why they date, they tell you it is for them to know the other person. The question is; can a human being know the other person? Long courtships do not mean knowing the individual. It is preposterous for any human being to pretend they will know the other person. Man is neither static nor flat. The human being is the only being that repents and the only that must do so. We turn to trust the other person as we adjust and tolerate their gaffes. People who are open-minded easily overlook differences. It is not how well you know the person but how well you treat them that will make them live longer and happier with you.The bible says the heart of man is deceitful and desperately wicked that no one can know it (Jer 17:9-10). In this lesson, I will tell you if people should date or not.  
In the entire Bible, we do not see anyone dating. Adam married Eve on first sight. Abraham married Sarah, Isaac married Rebecca, and Jacob married Rachel on first sight. It was love on first sight, and they lived happily thereafter. We never heard they divorced. We never read that they were miserable. Some people say so how would you know the other person? Some people argue that the society has evolved and things have changed. Although things have changed, the basic emotional necessities of humanity: love, acceptance and value have not changed. They are the same anywhere we go. There is not a single person who does not want to be loved, accepted and valued. More so, those who have been dating have not fared better than those who have not dated. On the contrary, divorces have increased far more than they were in the days when people were not dating.
When you look at the Oriental societies like Africa, Asia, and Latin America where there was and still no too much of dating, you will realize there is less divorce. Our parents never dated, yet they had long and lasting marriages.  Meanwhile, the western society where dating has become normative and a game is plagued with divorce as divorce papers litter the hallways of their courtrooms. Some people even now date longer than their marriages. So why would you take a longer time to figure out someone and when you have figured them out you cannot live happily and longer with them? This is why!
Another reason why I believe dating is unbiblical is because people date to know the other person before they can engage. That is like putting the carts before the horses. Trust (faith) is the rudiments of love. If he that comes to equity must come with clean hands, he that comes to love must come with trustful life. He or she must believe that the other person is the rewarder of their trust because to the pure, all things are pure but to the corrupt all things are corrupt (Titus 1:15). Dating is faithlessness. It means, we think that God cannot guide us into our daily lives. I believe that if a man’s ways pleases the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him (Prov 16:9).  The Holy Spirit will guide you into all truth the bible say (Jn 16:13). So can’t the Holy Spirit guide us into a trustworthy person? Those who live by sight should gamble with the dating game, but those who live by faith, and the just shall and must live by faith (Heb 10:38; Rom 1:17; Hab 2:4), should count on God to guide their footsteps. Doesn’t God know how to give his own children good gifts? Do you understand what it means by "the Lord is my shepherd?" So, why wouldn’t he make you lie down in green pastures (Ps 23:2)?
Do you know why some people date longer than their marriages? That is because we cannot know the other people. However, the human being whether black or white, short or tall, African or American European or Asian needs three basic things: love, acceptance and value. Show them love as shown in I Corinthians 13: 1-8, accept them just as they are without trying to change them or telling them they have put on or lost weight, or they dress badly, and show them that they are the treasure of your life and cannot be compared or replaced with another person, and they will hang on you like a magnet.  Couples that have practiced these principles without even dating, and those who have dated and have practiced these samples have lived longer and happier marriages. That tells you it is not how well you know a person; it is how well you treat them that they will live longer and happier with you. If we all lived trustworthy lives, we do not need to fear untrustworthiness because there will be none. That is not utopian as trustworthiness will beget trustworthiness. I have always trusted people until they failed me rather than distrust them until they convince me. Therefore, trust people until they fail you
Therefore, I will encourage people to go back to the rudiments of trust which is love at first sight.
Until then, dating does not help in anyway.

St Arrey of Ntenako.




“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

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