Wednesday, April 18, 2012
I did not understand why Christians could not find mates in their respective churches until I met Regina. Regina Boyderfield attended a very big church with a male who played in their church band. Regina liked Lucas, but he was not aware. The brother did not seem to have a self-worth or good self-esteem. Regina told her friend that she had seen a young man in church she liked, but he did not seem to have her time. The friend advised her to go closer to catch his attention. She did to no avail. Surprisingly, on May 24, 2004, she was surfing the net and fell on the profile of Lucas where he has written “single and looking”. He was very opened but did not have a fixed target yet. Regina approached him, and they began to talk. They exchanged numbers and were talking. They finally made arrangements to meet. Then one day Lucas seeing the picture of Regina said “I seem to know this face.” “Yeah, maybe,” she replied, “Do you live in Kansas City? Do you attend this church?” To all the questions, Regina answered yes. Lucas was broken. He did not know someone from the church has finally met him looking for a mate out of a church of thousands of people.
She always told the men who met her in person that she had a boyfriend just to wade them off, but year after year she was single. She did not consider keeping a promise as important because she will tell you she was coming but will never show up. She did not know that those things counted towards her and nature paid her back with men who did not love her. I mean men too who could not keep promises. That is the hypocrisy that is rampant all over the churches. Regina weeded the keys of her keyboard for a mate, yet tended a blind eye to the people in her churches. If a brother said, “can I talk to you a minute,” she will measure his height with her eyes from his toes to hair. Then slowly, she will walk away. At times she will say “nope!” In economics, business is good and prosperous when it is near to raw materials. Why does especially Regina pretend she doesn’t like a man but will talk with the same man behind the veil of the net? Why do we always want to get involved with the unknown?
Regina did not know life is too short to be knocking the wrong doors and asking for love from the wrong people. She did not also know that internet love is easy for players but dangerous for serious people because very few people really succeeded. She will have to double her steps of faith should double. The stakes and the risks are too high. Yeah, real high!
She has been bypassing many men in her churches toiling on the net. Another mind told her that the people who should look for love from the internet are those with no churches or whose membership is too small because their chances of finding a partner in that church are limited. Because personal contact is very difficult in the developed world, the internet could be the easiest of planes to take them to that destination of love. But Regina has always come from a church with at least 300 members. There should be someone there for her. Instead, she and her friends who come from mega churches or churches of thousands like those of Eddie Long, Creflo Dollar, Del Brown, T.D Jakes, John Hagee, Marilyn Hickis, Joyce Myers and a lot more invade the internet looking for partners. Are churches failing Regina and her friends or Are Regina and her friends failing themselves? I am merely a narrator, so I don’t have an answer.
Regina even thought about going back to her hometown to get married. Perhaps she should rather build her self-confidence or accept their spiritual family overseas or even both. Why can’t the foreign men be her husband when they are fit to be her brothers in Christ? Are there no men in those churches whom she could marry here in America? She lacks self-confidence, and secondly, she does not want to “corrupt herself with foreign men”. Consequently, she travels to space looking for love when love is on earth. Regina, look around you and select a spouse. There is no perfect man on earth! There is no Mr. Right or Soulmate. These people are already sitting in heaven. The ones here are broken pots that have and could be repaired by the master Porter called Jesus Christ.
Until then, stop looking for Mr. Right in the wrong places.
St Arrey of Ntenako
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