Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Before You Judge Someone, Walk A Mile In His Shoes?


Having lived now in the US, I have serious reservations with the way this picture and axiom are used. In most cases, I have found myself alone voicing an opinion that to me should have been defended by everyone because the others do not want to appear judgmental. Notwithstanding, I understand the maxim is meant to rebuke those people who speak before they think or have all the facts of the situation.
Each time I told a young girl that dancing naked for money is not good, she will say, "you need to walk in my shoes before you judge me." I don't, and I am not judging them. I am merely giving my opinion which is not the king's or divine edict.
I told a young man that cheating on his wife whether she was afar or anear was not good. He turned, looked at me and then said, “you need to walk in my shoes before you judge me". Again, I don't, and I am not judging him! There are certain things that are inherently evil that I do not have to do them to voice out an opinion against them.
I have had people cancel an engagement when they googled that I have been arrested without finding out if it was a false or justified arrest. In my case, it was a mistaken identity arrest. In addition, an arrest does not necessary mean a guilty verdict. Or those people who look at me being too friendly and think negatively instead. Those people need to have all the facts of the situations before they utter such opinions. Here we have perception over facts while in theirs we have facts over perceptions. When the facts outweigh the perceptions, one does not need an experience to utter their opinion.
A man and his girlfriend met us at the carwash. The girl was washing her car while the man was sitting and talking to us. So I turned to him and said, “Man, you cannot sit and be talking to us while your girl is washing the car.” He said that it was her car. I retorted that, “still, you should be helping her. It is not a good image!”Should I be in his shoes to utter my opinion?
On our way home, my American friend turned and told me that, “you cannot judge folks like that. You do not know why he does not want to wash the car.” That is not judging anyone. I am merely making an observation because inherently there is evil. A man cannot sit and be talking while his wife or woman is working. He is her protector and should call her to help if need be but not her doing it while he idles around in unnecessary chitchats.
On the other hand, before you say someone is lazy because they are unemployed, you must first be unemployed, be especially black, and try to get another job.  When you do that, then you will know that it is not that they do not want to work; it is merely a combination of factors like racism and bad economy that they are in a protracted unemployment.
            However, no one needs to walk in Mary Winkler’s shoes who shot her pastor husband while he was asleep. She should have just walked away or called the police to treat her case than shoot him in his sleep. Fatally shooting him in his sleep while she was in no apparent need for self-defense does not need me to walk in her shoes. Equity stands as the rudiment for my syllogism. 
I had a student who always slept in class. I should have merely called her slothful, but I decided to inquire before making an opinion. Every day, I gave her a little gift and words of encouragement that it shall be well. Then one day, when I told her, she began to cry and told me that she cannot sleep because her mom always had lousy sex party revelers who hinder her from sleeping. I had to walk in her shoes to know why a teenager would be sleeping in class every day.
Therefore, while we will walk in people’s shoes before we utter an opinion, it is not in every case as some cases in themselves are inherently evil that we do not need to walk in the actors’ shoes.The facts outweigh the perception that an experience will be redundant or unwarranted.

Until then, do not walk in every shoe before you make your opinion.

St Arrey of Ntenako.

“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

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