Sunday, November 13, 2011

How To Know Your Boyfriend Will Be A Good Dad.


The absence of good dads is destroying American families and creating a marriagequake. To be a good dad neither means you should get him a prostitute to check him out, if you suspect he is gay nor does it mean you should carry your children to night clubs and make them sleep on clubs chairs because you want the kids to always be with you. That amounts to abuse and irresponsible parenting. Nowadays many women stall with the idea of having kids because they do not want to be single moms or to raise the kids by themselves. Most fear that if they had a child with an irresponsible man, they may end up raising the child by themselves. Therefore, their greatest worry is if the guy they know will be a good dad. While we can reemphasize Duncan’s maxim that “There’s no art to find the mind’s construction in the face (Macbeth, Act 1, Scene 4),” we can still predict certain behavioral patterns that foreshadow a premonition. The truth is that you can know a good dad. Make a list and the next time you find another pretender, crosscheck all those points. If he passes, he will never fail you.


It starts with the woman’s choice of a man. Once you have made a better choice, you do not need to worry, for a good man will increase your joy and that of your kids. Women have always gone for the man they like most or they think will be their Mr. Right and not usually the one who is ready to die for them. In most cases, the ones that are ready to die for them usually do not fit the hot society perfect image of an ideal man . Never date a man you love most; date a man who loves you most. The one who loves you most sacrifices for you, but the one you love most will not show sacrificial love because he will take your love for granted.

A man who puts himself in clear risks; for example, selling drugs, using drugs or belonging to a gang. He will soon be killed or sent to jail, so he will not have the opportunity to be a good dad. A man who is determined to live a life of crime will not be a good dad because he will soon forfeit those rights to the society, and his kids will not have a dad. A man who is beating you up is transmitting violence to his kids, and that is not a sign of a good dad.


A man who does not know how to provide for his own; no matter how small it is, cannot be a good dad (I Tim 5:8). A man who has not gotten his acts together cannot be a good dad. I do not mean when a man loses his job, and the woman leaves him. What if he picked up a job the next day?I mean a man who neither has a career nor education, and he has no plan to get any. I know that some men think that by buying everything for their child is love. It is not! It is just one sign. However, a man must first start by showing the volition and ability to care for himself and then he will be able to care for his child later.


Anyone can know a good man. A man who is always outside; as if there are thorns in his house cannot be a good dad. You need first to be home to nurture the kid. Isn’t it so? One that will be a good dad is always available when she needs him and when she feels threatened with life uncertainties. He is the always present and ever ready shoulder she can cry on when life makes her cry. He must show sacrificial love for the mother. There are men who have been consumed by their careers or actualities that they are sadly home. How is he going to assist the kids with their homework or go to their games if he is never home?


If a man does not love his wife, how is he going to be a great dad? He must first love the wife like Christ loved the church and gave himself for it (Eph 5:25). You know a good dad who will try to help his lover without she asking for help. A great dad does not wait for you to tell him to check how your car is driving; he can hear it because he checks it. It is the same concern he will have because he has to make sure the car carrying his child is safe. Yes, you know a good dad how he shows concern for his mother, sisters and other women.


Does he try to play with the kids when you visit places with him? If a man does not like kids, he will not be a great dad, anyway. Shouldn’t that be enough presentiment?I hear some pathetic excuses; "my boyfriend does not like little kids." For God's sake, how is he going to be a good father?


Finally, and not the least, you know a great dad because he listens. Children like to tell stories and meaningless ones too. You need to be a great dad to listen to them and make them feel good. If a man is not a good listener, he will not listen to his child too. I do not mean an ignoramus who has nothing to say and is afraid to expose his stupidity. There are some men who will be watching the TV while you are talking to them. Some are playing video games while the little  ones are trying to play with them. Such a man will not be a good dad. A man who does not find time to spend with his wife, go on hiking, do exercises together, run, make errands together, will not be a great dad.


Now make a list and the next time you find another pretender, crosscheck all those points. If he passes, he will never fail you. If he fails you, call me and I will tear my Bible forever. So, next time if you find yourself having a child with a useless father, you should blame yourself for not heeding to advice. These are summations from people who have been married for at least 40 years and raised many children.


Until then, know a good that before you have a child.


Prince & PA Hamilton Ayuk.



“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

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