Saturday, November 6, 2010

Is there love without interest; especially in marriage?

To answer this question, I will first show two different concepts that should guide our choice and our lifestyle and then reconcile both. How do you love your spouse like yourself, yet you are looking for an help-meet? Why look for only someone who will meet your help rather than just anyone since you must love without seeking your own? For example, Paul says that “..charity..seeketh not her own” (I Cor 15:5) and Jesus says “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself” (Mt 22:39) which is the basis of our love. In Genesis, we read “I will make him an help meet for him” (Gen 2:18) which is the rudiment of our marriage. Thence, the installation of the institution of marriage in Genesis 2:18, we read “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him”. So, we have two principles: love the other person as yourself, and that your spouse is a help meet. This is getting better. This is good stuff right here. Amen? So our next task is to reconcile both principles and exemplify with practical examples.


Let me put it this way, love your neighbor, the same way you love yourself. That does not exempt you loving yourself. It simply says do not love yourself more than you love other people, but it does not say love other people more than you love yourself. If a husband does not love himself, he cannot love his wife, and if a wife does not love herself, she cannot love her husband. Amen? In looking at this verse, we call the amplification of the Golden Rule, “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets” (Mt 7:12).

When you are looking for a spouse, look for one that will compliment you in seeking first the kingdom of God because it is only when you acquire the kingdom of God and its righteousness that all will be added unto you. Let us say that your faith is not strong; you should marry someone who will draw you closer to God, if your gold is to seek God. That tells you there is no human action without interest, but we must look at the interest.

We believe in God to go to heaven, and God gave his son to save mankind. What is he gaining? He is gaining mankind. However, the problem is when you go after worldly things: the lust of the eye, the lust of the flesh and the pride of life. The world does not have joy. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and its righteousness and all other things shall be added unto it.

If you marry a man because he is very handsome or a woman because she is very beautiful, one day that beauty may fade away naturally or unnaturally in an accident or sickness. If you marry a woman for her wealth, that is an interest, albeit a wrong one because money and beauty do not answer the quest of salvation; a broken heart and a wailing soul through Jesus Christ do.Although she may be a help-meet, but that is not the first objective. Your first objective was her money.

Furthermore, let us say that you are illegal. You could marry for love and for papers too. That is because God does not prohibit us from having the desires of our hearts. Psalm 37:4 says “Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” So if you are looking for a man, you look at the godly one first, then the one who has papers (help-meet). The idea of help meet is very important because until after God has given Adam charge over the garden, he did not think he needed help. Eve comes in to compliment Adam as Adam also compliments her. We have our heavenly responsibility first and then our earthly one. If you put the earthly happiness first, then you will be going into selfish reasons because the earthly pleasure does not help you to acquire heaven pleasure, but heavenly accomplishment will help you acquire earthly joy.

That is the more reason why those who married men who had not believed in the hope of making them believe, never succeeded and instead failed to catch both the lover and salvation. Love without interest does nto exist, but selfish interest never brings in joy.


Until then, I hope I have answered your question.

Prince & PA Hamilton Ayuk



“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

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