Thursday, September 30, 2010

Can I marry for papers?


“HI MR P.A I HAVE A QUESTION FOR U. WE ALL KNOW THAT ONCE U GET MARRIED BE IT IN ANY FORM WE KNOW THAT IT IS FOR LIFE, FOR BETTER OR FOR WORST.I WILL LIKE U TO ANSWER ME THIS QUESTION OVER THE NET, IS IT GOOD TO GET MARRIED IN THE NAME OF PAPERS, TO HAVE A GOOD STAY IN THIS COUNTRY, AND THEN TO DIVORCE LATTER ON AND GET MARRIED TO UR REAL PARTER IN LIFE? WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO ANY BODY THAT DOES THAT, IS THAT PERSON GOING TO HELL FIRE, AND WILL NEVER MAKE HEAVEN. PLEASE THIS QUESTION KEEPS ON DISTURBING MY MIND.”

Introduction:


Brother thank you so much for the question. I will expand this question again even further to include my foreign audience. Is it good to marry someone for money, popularity, for papers and other temporal reasons then divorce them later? What would happen to them who do that? Would they go to hell or to heaven? I will define what marriage is, lay down the dynamics and mechanics and then draw a conclusion.

Marriage has three aspects: a covenant, a covenant in love, and a covenant in love sexually administered. It is a covenant because it is a life and death commitment. The institution of marriage is not by force when the Bible says: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Gen 2:24).

There are only two occasions for a man to divorce. The first is if there is illicit sex (Mt 19:9), and the second is abandonment (I Cor 7: 15). The second point would seem new to many, but abandonment is tantamount to someone who is dead. Except the spouse dies, digamy is sinful (Rom 7:1-3; I Cor 7:39). When a spouse abandons a covenant, they are considered dead, and the living partner is no more under the covenant because a covenant is only alive by two parties coming together (Mt 22:32, I Cor 7:15).

Is it good to get married for papers?

God intended for marriage to be till death (Gen 2:24). Once we have this mentality then with hope we can fight to make our marriage work. Marriage has at least three purposes. Firstly, for a help meet or companion (Gen 2:20). Secondly, it is a medium of fulfilling the sanction of multiplication (Gen 1:28) and lastly a means to avoid fornication (I Cor. 7:1-2). Divorce and bachelorhood are not the primordial intentions of God for man (Gen 2:18, Mt. 19:3-9). If we follow the principles of marriage that God set from the beginning then we will expect at least a happy marriage. Prov 18:22 suggests a process of seeking: deep search. Therefore, we have to search for our mate. Then, when we find one we have to avoid premarital sex because it is cheating and cheating begets cheating. By having sex before marriage we open the door for the devil to come into the house. That is why Hollywood marriages go kaput. If relationship was only sex then Hollywood would be in a better predicament. Unfortunately, if love was shoes, then Hollywood would charter all sizes. Jesus explains the origins and conditions for divorce (Mt 19:8).

The analogy of divorce between Israel and God in Ezekiel is a figurative expression that indicates the level of commitment between God and Israel. It is not a physical marriage as that of a man and a husband where sex is involved. God is a spirit and would not have intercourse with humans. Consequently, all those divorces due to abuse, addiction, irresponsibility and what have you other than fornication and abandonment are sinful. In this case, it requires sexual intercourse. John reports from the mouth of the Pharisees, “They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.” (Jn 8:4).

If you are married to an unbelieving partner, and they want to run away, then let them go and you are free to remarry. That is what we call abandonment. That makes the marriage eligible partner passive. It is not saying if you marry someone for papers or for the wrong reasons, you should divorce as is the case today, but that if the unbelieving partner wants to run away, let them go. You are authorized to remarry because marriage is considered a covenant (Rom 7:1-4). Since one of the characteristics of marriage is that it is a covenant, the dead person cannot more partake in the covenant, so it annuls the marriage at once. Once one partner is dead, the living partner is free to remarry because God only honors a covenant between the living (Mat 22:32). In this particular case, it is a state of spiritual widowhood, and widows are permitted to remarry.

I always like to visit Christian websites and read the profiles of singles who are seeking partners for dating, friendship, pen pals or marriage. One quickly realizes the unrealistic conditions that they pose. “I want a man who is financially independent,” but she herself is jobless. In addition, she has a medical condition. Some write, “I want a man who will lead, loves his mother, is financially stable, very spiritual and has six packs," but she herself looks like sponge bob. Some men say, “I want a lady who can cook and who will obey a man and call him master," but he himself is a jerk. Stars want to marry stars, albeit being a star does not mean quality. Hence, it explains the rampant divorce. That is why in 2014 alone there were at least 60 celebrity splits. It is almost the same number each year since 2006. The stars put sex before marriage and cherish status, fame and looks over character. My friends, there is a serpent in every earthly paradise; so beware earthly paradise seekers.

However, if a marriage was contractual in that both the man and the woman knew that it was for mere business purposes,  then that is different. It is against both the law of man and God, but it does not destroy the individual like when they were caught by surprise. In a contractual marriage, sex should not be involved; however, most of the time, after the man has taken his money, he starts to ask for sex from the girl. If she refuses, he rescinds from giving her the papers. Some American women take the money, but whenever there is an immigration court appointment, they become sick. They try to keep the man an eternal slave. Can you relate to this?

Conclusion:

Therefore, those who marry for selfish reasons like getting papers, money, fame, status and then divorce,  commit evil against God and man  (in the case of papers) and man in the last three reason because they are not different from those mentioned in Gal 5:19-21, seeing that they are deceivers, thieves and killers.
Years back I wrote to decry about Africans marrying foreign women and men for papers. People told me I was anti African. Many Africans did that with foreign women to emulate the Eastern Europeans and South Americans, and it is now catching up with them. Nature just has a way of rewarding people in their own coins. Have you ever ignored anyone? Don’t worry, someone too will ignore you. If you deceive anyone and get married to them for a selfish reason, it will catch up with you. People have died before even enjoying their spoils. Marry someone for the right reason of marriage and make up your mind to live with them till kingdom come, and the Lord will give you a  hapy marriage!

Until then, “if a young woman says no to marriage just wait until her breasts sag” (Burundian Proverb).

Prince & PA Hamilton Ayuk



“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk). Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk). Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).

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