Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher were married for 85 years. Please learn their secret.
After writing the article “Be a man and take care of your lady”, I was asked by many to write “Be a lady and take care of your man.” It is common to see women who have made it taking care of some men. I mean literally taking care of them. I remember a couple who went to the same church with us in Rock Street. The guy was a homeless guy that this professional picked and brought home. To her, she was taking care of her man but to many, she was a desperate woman who wanted marriage by all costs. She cleaned him up (so she thought) and wanted to show him love and care. A few months later, after he was now a “man”, he began cheating on her. She had one and only option she knew: kick him out to the curve. Today, I will tell you what it means to take care of your man and what it is not. If you do not want to become a Desperate Housewife or single-and-ready-to-mingle woman again and again then take this advice to heart. Therefore, please you stay tune!
I plead with you not to listen to foolishness outside. God can never go wrong. The bible says that a good woman will make her man happy all the days of her life. There are three things that if a lady masters them well, she will take care of her man. They are sex, food and a peaceful home.
I don't understand these women who marry, but they do not want to have sex. A man should not beg his lady for sex. “My mind is not clear because my mother needs a new car, so I cannot do anything.” The lady who wants to take care of her man does not put a price tag on sex. It is more a dangerous game to place a price-tag before he could see in between your legs. That lollipop should not be licked on conditions; it should be a free gift to the man you truly love. “We cannot do anything until I have a new dress.” That is a tacit request for him to look outside. As absurd as it may seem that though the pinhole is where the man came from, he still wants to go back there all the days of his life. Any resistance and shilly-shally helps to frustrate and depress him. That will eventually tear down the walls that bond your relationship. Notwithstanding, some women give, but the man does not take because she does not keep it clean. Ladies, a little douch with clean water at least three times a day should keep you fresh and ready. Women are fighting for rights? They should force companies to build bidets everywhere, so they could take breaks to wash themselves like the ladies in the Red District.
Other times women say, "We do not have sex because he only pleases himself; I don't feel anything." Many women do not know that men see with dark glasses. You need to draw his attention to your needs. Telling him how to satisfy you gives him the impression he is doing the right thing or is closed to achieving your happiness, and that makes his joy. If you expect him to know, you will end up like a broken radio. Men have different skills, but they are not all true psychics or soothsayers. Therefore, tell them your needs!
Furthermore, to take care of your man does not mean you should spy on him or try to control his every move. A good man wants to be trusted. When trust is the foundation of a relationship, the man strives to do better. If you are the one spending, don’t make your man to feel like he is nothing because if that is the message he gets, he will dump you once he has his situation under control. I knew a lady who called her man almost 10 times a day to check his whereabouts. Do you want to truly keep the man you have? Be a lady and take care of him!
Giving your guy friends the same place or even more attention than your husband will create suspicion and insecurity for the man, whether sex is involved or not; thus, you should avoid situations that corrode the fabrics of your love. You cannot be married or have a boyfriend, but you keep hanging out with guy friends.
However, no matter how much you love the man, do not offer him a strip tease party for his birthday. That is like giving peanuts to rats to toy with. Would you give a crocodile a goat to play with on its birthday? Many ladies who repulsed this advice can tell you it was the stumbling block of their man and the beginning of his fall.Would you like a story? I had a colleague whose wife took him to the strip club for his birthday, and he ended up making it his recreation home from Thursday to Saturday. Then .... well next time, I will tell you. I love to play with people! Your ears are wide open. Ok, Arabian nights! Next time, my friend, I will tell you. Let me treat the second reason; cook food for the home.
The second special way a lady can take care of her man is giving him real food to eat. How many times have you heard “we broke off because she does not cook, did not know how to cook, and she did not try to learn”? Certainly, cooking is not only a woman’s job; however, nature and traditions teach us that the woman is more endowed in that domain. The lady that feeds a man well will retain his attention. The same food you are buying from restaurant, you could still cook it at home. If you do not know how to cook, you could buy a recipe book and invite him to join you cook a certain meal. It is a recipe for infidelity to be sending him out to go and buy food for the family while single women are lined up like wolves waiting around the corners. Sometimes, women look at me as if they want to tear my pants off. I have seen women undress me with their eyes.
Gloria was a Nigerian girl who was brought from home. When she came, she was cooking regularly, and the marriage was striving well. Then she found a job and stopped cooking. When Kalu asked her why she was no more cooking, she asked him, “kalu, where do you keep your eyes when you are driving? Don’t you see MacDonald, Chic-Fil-A or Burger King on the road? Is there a police officer on the road that will arrest you if you stop to buy Crystal?” Six months later, the marriage was kaput.
The third element you need to take care of your man is peace at home. Nagging your man does not create a peaceful environment. Sometimes the lady should be purblind at some of his mistakes. If he leaves his socks down, pick them and put them where you think he should have put them. If you thought he disrespected you in public, wait when he comes home and give him a pep talk. Don’t fight him outside and when you give him a pep talk at home, avoid being a harridan. When a lady produces love, acceptance and value (LAV): virtues that have magnetic powers to keep any man, the man will knit his soul to hers. Though men know how to mess places around, they like clean environments too. Therefore, if you want to be a lady who knows how to take care of your man, keep yourself and the place clean.
I have heard many women say, “You need to take your stinking butt out there and get a job. You cannot sit on my couch, drink my juice, eat my food, watch my TV, drive my car and sit there daily on that couch.” No matter what you give a man, nagging him does not create love; it creates resentment, and he will be there just for convenience. Once his stinking arse gets a job, he will vamoose. That is why some ladies have had different men come and go without any of them staying. Nagging tastes good in your mouth, but it is like Steve Ballmer cheering the Clippers. Sorry, Clippers fans!It is like gall in every man's mouth.
Submission to a man does not mean you are not emancipated; it simply means you are acknowledging him. Look, every woman I have known who has been married to the same man for more than 50 years tells me about submission. Every man, no matter how poor and scrawny still likes when he is regarded as a man. If to you a man is a lapdog who is only good when you want a lick, then you will be a chronic husband shopper. Repeat after me: Chronic Husband Shopper (CHS) or end up with the useless cliche, "I am a strong black woman." No wonder ,the black men are running to the white girls. The western woman has won the battle of strong women, but they have failed that of keeping a happy relationship or marriage. To be submissive does not mean acquiescence or domination. It does not mean you are a floor-mart either. It simply means that when consensus fails on certain last decisions, you should let the man make them.
Until then, be a lady and take care of your man.
Prince & PA Hamilton Ayuk
“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk).Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk).Idle people write, idler people read, and idlest people read and whine that idle people are taking their time (Hamilton Ayuk).