A parrot stopped a plane from taking off when she escaped from her box and began nibbling passengers.
Polly the parrot managed to free herself while perched on her owner's lap as the plane taxied for take-off.
She started circling passengers' heads and nipping their shoulders, reports the Sun.
Travellers on the trip from Alderney to Southampton shouted at the pilot to brake.
And the Aurigny Air Services flight was delayed ten minutes as crew emptied the cabin, scooped up the grey and white parrot and put her back in her box.
Duty officer Steve Roberts confirmed: "There was a bit of a problem with Polly. It was a bit of unscripted in-flight entertainment and it was ironic that the plane in use was called Joey.
"We deal with all sorts of things here."
Lesson: Any society where human company has been replaced with animals can only expect such dysfunctional entertainment.
2. Prisoner swapped clothes with twin
A Russian prisoner swapped clothes with his identical twin brother, who is also his lawyer, and walked out of jail.
The jailbreak happened when guards left former policeman Valerii Voblikov, on trial for running a criminal gang, alone in his cell with his lawyer brother.
The pair swapped clothes and ID cards before Valerii calmly walked out the front door and got into a waiting car.
His twin brother, who is yet to be fully named, has now been charged with assisting a jailbreak.
Lesson: love for brother is stronger than profession.
'Ghost' helps acquit murder suspect
Two letters said to be dictated by a ghost helped acquit a woman of murder in Brazil.
The letters, written by a medium who claimed they were from the victim, were used as evidence in a murder trial in Viamao.
The medium claimed the spirit had revealed that the woman accused of his murder was innocent.
A jury declared Iara Marques Barcelos, 63 not guilty of the killing Ercy da Silva Cardoso.
Mr. Cardoso was shot dead in his home in 2003. Mrs. Barcelos was accused because she was the victim's lover and was angry he wanted to leave her.
The defense lawyer told Folha de Sao Paulo: "The letters were a low blow and they were decisive to the verdict."
A court spokesman said the letters were accepted as evidence because the prosecution lawyers made no objection.
Lesson: God works in mysterious way. When you are innocent, just relax.
Man hands over wife to pay debt
A Romanian man has handed over his wife to a creditor as payment for his debts. Emil Iancu, from tIghisu Nou, gave his wife Daniela to 72-year-old Jozef Justien Lostrie when he turned up on his doorstep to collect a £1,800 debt. Iancu said: "I had no money to pay the debt and when I told Lostrie he said he would take my wife instead. "I was scared of what he would do and so I signed a document saying Daniela would live with him." But Daniela says the deal has proved better for her. "Before I had to clean the house and look after our three children on my own, while Emil did nothing, but now I'm treated like a guest and hardly have to raise a finger," she said.
Lesson: When greed outdoes love.
Man forced to marry four wives in six months
A Saudi man is in hospital after his divorced parents forced him to marry four times within six months. The battle began when the father insisted the boy should marry a girl from his side of the family. The mother retaliated by ordering him to wed a girl from her side, reports Arab News quoting Al-Watan daily. But the father wasn't happy with the balance of power and insisted on a third wife from his side, to show who was boss.
The mother, not to be outdone, then demanded that her son include another wife from her side of the family. The son has now been admitted to a hospital for psychological treatment. He is refusing to see his parents or his wives.
Lesson: Be your own man and quit listening to useless advice from your parents.
1. The Anheuser-Busch Company was sued by a man for emotional distress, because he had no luck with the ladies after drinking their product.
2. A man is suing a bank that he attempted to rob. After employees of the bank realized he was deaf, they were able to talk during the attempted robbery, which made it easy for them to stall the would-be robber until police arrived. The failed bank robber is suing the bank for discrimination.
3. Kara Walton sued a night club after she fell out of a bathroom window and had her two front teeth knocked out. She won $12,000 plus dental expenses. She fell from the window, which she was using to sneak into the club to avoid the $3, 50 cover charges.
4. Dorothy Johnson sued Kenmore Inc for the death of her dog. After washing the poodle, she placed it in her Kenmore microwave, “just a few minutes, on low”, to dry it off. The case was dismissed.
5. Robert Lee Brock, an inmate in Virginia , has filed a lawsuit against himself, claming that he violated his own civil rights by getting arrested. He is suing for $5 million and is asking the state to pay, since he can’t have an income in prison.
6. An Arizona inmate sued when he was not invited to a party held for a guard who was leaving.
Sometimes truth may become more absurd than fiction. And when it does, a clean conscience becomes a seared and scarce commodity.
“Bonyfish beware because the same net that caught the jawless fish, caught the cartilaginous fish” (Hamilton Ayuk).
Beware earthly paradise seekers because there is a serpent in every paradise"(Hamilton Ayuk).