Sunday, May 17, 2009

Teachers Without A Lesson

On May the 15th, 2009 I was almost going home. So I saw my colleague (who is fit to be my mother) waiting for a ride. Would I be happy if someone saw my mother waiting for a ride and left her there? I volunteered to give her a ride because her husband will only come in an hour’s time. She accepted to let me fetch those blessings from God.

On our way home, she began telling me about a neighbor who tried to lecture her yesterday. She is a two time divorcee in her 30s with two kids from three different men. That is because one of them is suspected of having two fathers since she does not know the real father of the second child.

At the end of her visit she announced her intention to leave. My colleague went to the room and informed the husband who is a visiting professor busy on his computer. So my colleague said: “daddy Susanna (made up name) is leaving”. The professor quickly and humbly jumped out of the room to see her off. The visitor turns to my colleague in front of the husband and said: “please we are in America; when you come here leave your African stuff behind. We here do not call our husbands daddy”. My colleague was dumbfounded but tried to down play it. So when I was giving her the ride she wanted to hear a neutral opinion.

She explained to me that firstly her husband is older than her. He helped her to attain the level where she is today. Secondly, after her father died, her husband took over their family as their father and was doing everything that her father used to do. Thirdly Sarah used to call Abraham: the husband, lord. So what is bad in it?
I told her madam, you did nothing wrong; that is why she does not have a husband. She wants to be a teacher but she does not have a lesson. She that thinks she is teaching but does not have a lesson is merely running her mouth.

There are many of those running their mouths out there. When you write an article they say what a bad article. Rather than write theirs, like retired armed chair critics they say what should have been rather than what is. Wouldn’t you know the road first before you teach someone who is lost? Why try to teach when you do not have a lesson.

All these divorced single women telling married women how to behave in their marital homes when they themselves cannot even keep a home. My colleague is married for more than 35 years to the same man and should not be lectured by a woman whose life is like a badly panel beaten car. “We here in America”: as if America is the mirror that reflects proper marriages.

When I carry people like my colleague I ask them questions. When were you married? How did you meet your husband? You have been married for 35 years is there any secret? They have a lesson about marriage to teach me. That is why they have been married for 35 years. The divorced single woman has no lesson at all about marriage; if any it would be why her marriage failed. But she should not join those of the View (with the exception of Elizabeth) and Oprah who want to teach on marriage but are single. What do they know about keeping a husband? They should preoccupy themselves with how to make money and how to speak in public. A single person who has never been married before has the authority because they have not tried and failed yet. But the divorcee has tried and failed so has no lesson to teach. They should learn from those who are making it.

Another group is those who talk about style and beauty but are shy to show off their bodies and the style they pretend to know too much. There was an attack on Chantal Biya: the Cameroon’s first lady about her hair and dress. The woman is bold enough to establish her own style and is confident enough to show off her legs. If these same women and men who berated her felt that they were more beautiful or knew how to dress better then they should have put their own pictures to say: Chantal, next time don’t dress like this; dress like this. But as usual teachers without a lesson, they try to cure their low self esteem by attacking the one who has tried. When you watch some of the people talking about style; they walk like human penguins with the right leg facing the east and left facing the west. They buy expensive clothes that do not even fit them and cover their faces with maquillage which still does not make them beautiful. Listen; truth be told: some people were born ugly, will grow up ugly and will die ugly even if they went under plastic surgery. So why does the ugly person want to teach the beautiful person about beauty?

Until then, only teach if you have a lesson.

Prince & PA Hamilton Ayuk
“No matter how a rat becomes the house pet, if it is sleeping beside the bag of groundnuts the owner may not have much sleep. ” (Hamilton Ayuk)."If a goat runs from the owner’s leash it will be tied by the council in a market square" Hamilton Ayuk).

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