The church was indoctrinating the Christians in those days that you must be engaged for a long time for the marriage to work. J-L and Edit, even went overboard and were engaged for seven years, but they got married only for a year before the man ran away to South Africa. There is no guarantee that knowing a man: even a childhood friend will amount to great relationship. A good relationship depends on how well each individual is ready to adjust and adapt to their lover.
On the other hand, Debra met her husband during the Vietnam War. She was about to see her brother off to the airport when she saw a young man being shipped to the front. They fell in love, and she gave him her number. While there, they wrote each other. He was wounded at the front and evacuated home. Immediately after he returned, they got married, having dated by mail for a month. After their one year of marriage, they got separated and six months after, reconciled and have been married for 65 years.
It is mostly men who see a woman and fall in love with her without knowing her and without seeking to know her because men live by sight while women live by touch. Actually, women are scared when a man tells them very early he loves them and wants to marry them because they exhaust their emotions in everything .
There are those who believe we cannot know a person and those do not seek to really know a person. They judge your weaknesses and can weigh if they can support that. Indeed I believe as the Bible says that we cannot know the other person (Jer 17:9-10), especially because the Bible is never wrong. If we apply the basic principles about relationship: “do unto others what you want them do unto you” (Mt 7:12) and submitting yourselves to one another in the fear of the Lord (Eph 5:22), then no relationship will fall apart. In this case, there must be love as mentioned in I cor 13: 1-13 for it will bring in perseverance and patience. The family that prays together, plays together, and lives together will stay together.
Do not overtax new pretenders for the broken vases of the exes with the pretext you do not know them. Give every one an opportunity to know them. Actually you try to take them in before you know them. Many women say I don’t know you though, but then they do not bring the man closer to know him. You do not know a person by being far away from them. You only know how a person snores if you sleep in the same room. Try to know them by asking them questions.
In addition, just because a lady is a divorcee does not mean she is a bad person. Actually, the bear’s urine is the butterfly’s vitamin. Consequently, Andrew’s poison may actually be Solomon’s blessing. One of my former colleagues got married for two years and divorced. Then she stumbled again on a guy she had earlier turned down. They finally got married and have been married now for more than 25 years.
No doubt the Bible is against digamy (Mt 19:4-9). However, that is when the fault is on the quitter (I Cor 7: 10-11). If the other person leaves, the one who has not is no more under the covenant (I Cor 7:15). A woman is bound by her husband as long as he is alive (Rom 7: 2-3) because a covenant is for the living (Mt 22:32). Nonetheless, when someone quits a covenant, it is synonymous to them being dead. So while we do not know who divorced who, we will either absolve all or impute righteousness on the other who remarries for benefit of doubt. But they themselves know if they are committing digamy or not. Furthermore, while digamy is a sin though like just any other sin it is not an unforgivable sin. While I adjure people from sinning I acknowledge that God can still forgive their sins and throw it at the bottom of the sea (Mic 7:19).
Until then, love by first sight is possible and hopeful too.
Prince & PA Hamilton Ayuk.
“No matter how a rat becomes the house pet, if it is sleeping beside the bag of groundnuts the owner may not have much sleep. ” (Hamilton Ayuk)."If a goat runs from the owner’s leash it will be tied by the council in a market square" Hamilton Ayuk).