Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Should I divorce if my husband is beating me up?

This same concern always puts me in the middle because I have and have had closed friends and families suffer from physical abuse. But I still do not find any known example or suggestion thereof in the Bible that it is a reason for divorce. Some we have worked through the process of love and conquered but others we are still to overcome.

The first reason why anyone should divorce is if there was adultery (Mt 19:9). The people of ancient times to solve the problem of adultery created the Bill of Divorcement (Jer. 3:8). Ab initio divorce was not a recommendation to solve trouble pruned marriages. Moses introduced it (Mk 10:4) and Jesus explains that it is due to the hardiness of the people’s hearts. God initially wanted a man and a woman to marry and live together till the end of the world (Gen 2:24).

Abandonment is one of the reasons why a spouse is permitted to divorce (I Cor 7:14-15) because by abandoning your post you break the bond that existed via sex and thus you are considered dead (Rom 7:1-3). Since a covenant requires two living beings then the one who is alive is permitted to look for another partner for a new covenant. Immediately the methodology sets in.

A covenant is concomitant with the feelings of our souls. Palmer Robertson says: “a covenant is bond in blood sovereignly administered". If blood is the main requirement in a salvation covenant, sex is the one in a marital relationship and a covenant requires two living beings (Rom 7: 1-3) because God is a God of the living and not of the dead (Mt 22:32). Marriage is a covenant registered before God and must be upheld unfailingly. It is that established bond that binds the two mates as soulmates despite their shortcomings.

Marriage is a means to avoid fornication (I Cor. 7:1-2). God tells Hosea a prophet to marry Gomer (a prostitute) and then he warns him that she will be unfaithful to him (Hos 1:2). Gomer ran away but God saddled Hosea to go and redeem his adulterous wife (Hosea 3: 1-3). Note well; he does not talk here of divorce because marriage is a covenant and it is not broken as far as both covenantees are still alive.
The second case study is Ahab and Jezebel (I Kings 21:5-7). They came from different places (Israel and Zidon) but quickly knitted their souls together that one acted like the other. The Bible says he that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord (Prov 18:22).

Therefore, since there is no such example or prescription to divorce if a marriage turns physically abusive I will stay within the known reasons. The human law was given to protect society. Therefore, one should exploit the provisions of the law if they are abused.

However though, physically abusive individuals could easily be converted to doves as they are made to see their evil with love. At times by involving the law they tend to plunge deeper in thinking they have already paid for their sins by the punishment of the law.

Until then, my prayers are with those in abusive relationships.

Prince & PA Hamilton Ayuk.
“Go for the person who loves you most and not the one you love most for the one you love most may not give you the love you need most because though love is blind marriage is an eye-opener” (Hamilton Ayuk).

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