Thursday, July 17, 2008

Do Soulmates Exist?

PA, what do you think about this Soulmate thing?



A Soulmate is someone with whom your soul agrees with entirely. In romantic circles, it is someone with whom your soul finds in toto complements. It refers to two people of opposite sex coming together as one. So while women are looking for Mr. Right, men are looking for Passpartout. The concept exists, but it is misused. Jesus says that people have decided to be deaf and blind to the principles of God. They have become vain in their imaginations, and their foolish hearts have been darkened.

We know that when a man cleaves to the wife, they become one flesh (Gen 2:24). Remember, they have to cleave first to each other. They were not made for each other. They found each other and decided to cleave. Then when they cleave, they become one body (flesh). For a body to function properly, the different organs must come together. Same too, for matrimony to become one, the two people must come together. Not having seen from elsewhere, they now have one that fits their kind. As such, they must now abandon the rest to function as one body. It is not as though the man thinks through the mind of the wife, or the wife breathes through the lungs of the husband. It is crystal clear that they are different entities that have come together in one essence. Therefore, Soulmate does not exist per the definition out there. As for Mr. or Miss Right, they are fantasies. Sometimes it makes me laugh. You see a woman who lies as she breathes saying that she wants a Mr. Right. If Gof or Satan sends the poor man to her, he will die before his time because of her bad manners! There is no Mr Right so get real with yourself and come back to earth where normal men live and select yours.

To find someone identical to you is insulting God of having created two of you. You are unique; you do not have a carbon copy! Even identical twins have their differences in physiognomy, person and personality. How much more two individuals from different wombs? There are no carbon copies among human beings; not even clones are alike. If there is a Mr. or Miss Right, there should never be a divorce or disagreement for those who are married. Missing rib is erroneous belief too because when God took away that rib he refilled it in such a way that man could not feel its loss, so men are not missing any rib. You can check that in your anatomy class. If not, man would have been sick and probably died of pains. If you still believe in missing rib let me ask you this, what of married men who have lost one rib? Then they need another wife to fill that gab or replace the missing rib. Many men would then have surgery to miss many rips, so they can have women as replacements. Consequently, the man has 3 or more soulmates. That would beckon for polygamy, and to the best of my knowledge, few women embrace polygamy. Do you still believe in your soulmates thing?

I have heard this same thing in churches, read it in books and in internet forums about soulmates. It is mythopoeia to delude that any two people were made for each other because people were not born soulmates; they become soulmates. That is why you see those who have been married for long; they start to look like their spouses. If they exist, then the Bible will not adjure us to deal with people with patience, perseverance, self control and faithfulness. You should master yourself since your soulmate is you. Many failed relationships have been attributed to the cause of the lovers not being soulmates. Relationships fail because of the pedantic selection process based more on the physical than the spiritual; neglecting God’s hortatory prescription of mirroring within (I Sam 16:7) the pretender.

This is the main source of confusion:

And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day, and would let him go no more home to his father's house. Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul (I Sam 18:1-3).

Let me draw three lessons from these verses: firstly they were different souls, secondly, they came to like each other just like themselves, and thirdly, they cemented their love with a covenant. No two people were made alike and will be alike. No two people will think the same, but they could come to like each other. Some people don’t even like themselves how will they like someone else? Why would you take care of other people when you do not take care of yourself? Doesn’t the Bible say: “love your neighbor as yourself”? Does it say: “love your neighbor more than yourself”? If you love yourself very well and you love another person the same way you love yourself, then you will be like you are one and the same soul. Does that mean you are one and the same soul? What knitted the souls of David and Jonathan together was the covenant (I sam 18:3). David despite knowing that Jonathans’ father: Saul wanted to kill him (I Sam 20:3), he still entwined with him due to the covenant. They kept their physical differences aside and concentrated on their spiritual bond. Let us apply it in romance.

In all truism; no human being is perfect: every human being has some rottenness in him or her. We all are like aubergines: each has maggots; though some have more maggots than others. When eating aubergine, one always looks closely because no matter how fresh and beautiful it may look, it may have a maggot. When you see it, you bite off that portion and throw and then you finish eating your aubergine. It sounds gross, but that is what we always did as little kids. Perhaps the Bible will throw more light.

A covenant is concomitant with the feelings of our souls. Palmer Robertson says: “a covenant is bond in blood sovereignly administered". If blood is the main requirement in a salvation covenant, sex is the one in a marital relationship, and a covenant requires two living beings (Rom 7: 1-3) because God is a God of the living and not of the dead (Mt 22:32). Marriage is a covenant registered before God and must be upheld unfailingly. It is that established bond that binds the two mates as soulmates despite their shortcomings. The Bible affirms it: “therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh’. (Gen 2:24). Obama's white mother left her white parents and bonded with Obama's black father and the two became one despite racism at the time.

It is aberrational to posit that marriage was fundamentally for procreation. Marriage has with it at least three purposes. The primordial one is for a helpmeet or companion (Gen 2:20); in other words to tampon loneliness. Secondly, it is a medium to fulfill the sanction of multiplication (Gen 1:28). Lastly, a means to avoid fornication (I Cor. 7:1-2). Thus, people were not born soulmates they become soulmates for a purpose. Think again, if you had a soulmate and he or she died, then God has to make you another soulmate. In other words, you already had two soulmates out there. Does that really make sense to you? No, I am asking you! How many soulmates are you going to have? God then should be very terrible making you a soulmate who is going to die and abandon you.

For people to become Soulmates, they must find a like minded individual (2 Cor. 6:14). When the acme of their love colligates under a covenant, it becomes a bond in blood. Romantically, it culminates into sexual intercourse as a bond in blood sexually administered. It is gross oversight for lovers to pretend they want to know their paramour. The Bible unequivocally states that no one can know the heart of anyone because it is deceitful and desperately wicked (I Kings 8:39; I Chr 28:9; Jer 17:9; Ecl 9:3).

Consequently, to choose a Soulmate, one must do that by faith because the just shall live by faith (Hab 2:4; Rom 1:17; Gal 3: 11). Does that mean because people are soulmates it will be a perfect marriage? That too is Utopia because there is no perfect marriage, though there is a happy marriage. Let us consider the number one home breaker in western countries; extramarital relationships or as they commonly sing it themselves: cheating.

First, God tells Hosea a prophet to marry Gomer (a prostitute) and then he warns him that she will be unfaithful to him (Hos 1:2). Gomer ran away, but God saddled Hosea to go and redeem his adulterous wife (Hosea 3: 1-3). Note well; he does not talk here of divorce because marriage is a covenant, and it is not broken as far as both covenantees are still alive. Nowadays spinsters and bachelors will say "kick his cheating ass out." I thank God for people like Hilary Clinton who understand the notion of marriage as a covenant.

The second case study is Ahab and Jezebel (I Kings 21:5-7). They came from different places (Israel and Zidon) but quickly knitted their souls together that one acted like the other. The Bible says: "he that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord" (Prov 18:22). That verse negates the notion that God chooses your spouse for you. Why do we have to find, and why is it then a good thing when we find the person if he chooses our spouses? The process of finding entails considering alternatives and settling for the best choice. That verse is saying if you find a good wife, it is a favor you have obtained from the Lord. If you find a good husband, it is a favor you have obtained from the Lord. The opposite will be that if you find a bad wife or husband, you have obtained favor from the Devil. Some wives or husbands could be real favors from Lucifer, right from the pit of hell. You smile; don't you? Many Americans have surely obtained favor from the Devil! That is for sure!

Therefore, though the concept of soulmates exist in the Bible, it is clear that no two people were made for each other. They decide to bond into soulmates. In other words, there is no ready-made soulmates. There are no existing soulmates, but individuals become future soulmates by bonding in a covenant. If you decide to go into any relationship with the predisposed mind to divorce or break up in the face of trials, then you will never find a Soulmate. That is because you must first love and love covers a multitude of sins. When love supersedes the peccadilloes of your lover, then the bond overrides the mistakes. Therefore, don’t go looking for a ready-made soulmate that God has out there for you; he or she does not exist. You take a pretender, love them as yourself and enter into a covenant relationship. Then you will become soulmates just as Celine Dion and her husband Rene Angelil. They met when Celine was 12 and Rene was 38. He became her manager and they later got married. They have been real soulmates through thick and thin.

However, I know that when two people love themselves, they start to behave like each other. They even start to look alike. Repeat after me. Look alike. Yet each of them maintains their physical and spiritual identities. So individuals should look for lovers, cleave to them until they become one flesh. They cannot become one flesh without cleaving together. There are no such things like soulmate, missing rib and Mr. or Miss right. They just don’t exist! No two people will think the same, act the same, believe the same, love the same and live the same. If we go close to people, we start to pick up their mannerisms in speech, actions, character, style and a lot more.

Until then, I wish you success in making a Soulmate in life.

Prince & PA Hamilton Ayuk.
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