Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Why Do Fools Even Marry?

When people are getting married, they are asked if they will love each other for better or for worse. In that case, they promise to surrender their all to their spouses (I Cor 7:3-5). Both say I do; otherwise, there will be no wedding. How comes then that after they make those promises and pledges, they start to do something else? The Bible says that only a fool breaks his or her promises, and God has no pleasure in fools (Eccl 5: 4). My question is ,"Why do fools even marry?"

I see some people who are married, but they leave their wives (those who have kids, leave both wife and kids) on the bed and spend habitually their whole nights drinking with friends and acquaintances. Some will even leave their pregnant wives who are ready to put to birth to go to parties. They talk of personal space. Are we surprised when infidelity sets in? I have some real stories for you!

“Angela, leaving your husband to go clubbing is a recipe for infidelity”. She reminded me of MYOB (mind your own business). “If you like to club why don’t you go with your husband and if he does not want to go why don’t you both look for a common interest?” My mouth insisted. “Please, I need some breathing space!" She told me. Needless to say she is in her third marriage and happiness seem to elude her scrutably; perhaps giving her space for a fourth husband. Isn’t only a fool who plants corn but wants to harvest avocadoes? Why do fools even marry?

A couple came to me when their marriage was on the ropes. I listened to both and the husband was on and on. The wife had made her points and was just waiting to see if I will side with the husband like their two other counselors they have visited. First, I properly diagnosed their problem: finances. The man feels the woman is over-shopping. Secondly, the truth about it was that in terms of habit, the woman was over-shopping, but in terms of finances, the man was over-shopping. The problem here was not frequency but quantity. The man buys a suit for $350, but the woman buys clothes and shoes almost every week for $125. They do not sum up to that amount, so I asked who is the better manager? Each pointed to themselves. I looked at their incomes and requested the woman manages the money. The man told me over his dead body. Little time after, he sniffed their money and gambled some to casinos. After some time, they were like archenemies. I once ran into the woman and she sobbed, cried and bewailed as though something precious was escaping from her. Why do fools even marry?

Liliana had some friends with whom she exchanged sleepovers before she got married. They did things and took pictures as though they were more than platonic. Now that she is married, she still wants to maintain the same relationship. “Listen; when you get married, those sleepovers with boyfriends are gone, once and forever. Now you belong to another man.” She told me that this was America and not Africa. “Here, people have the liberty to do what they pretty much like.”She explained. You may not like it but hear it: she is divorced. Except if divorce is a wonderful and joyful experience, then she may want to adjust, else she will remain a cow. Her male friends have ended up getting married. Isn’t she a fool? Is she? So why do fools even marry?

In 2006, I went to court for a young man whose wife was involved in adultery. Her foolishness had plunged their love into tatters. In court, I saw a woman advocating for divorce because the husband has given her from Syphilis to Gonorrhea. Perhaps, she may just be missing out on HIV. Methought people get married to stay with one partner? Listen, if sex was love then Hollywood would be in a different predicament, but if love were shoes, then Hollywood will chatter all sizes. Why are fools not satisfied with their spouse at home? Simple: they consider mischief a sport (Prov 10:23). To my greatest surprise, many have neglected basic counsel and no wonder we can call them today fools (Prov 1:7). Only fools make a mockery of sin (Prov 14:9), for extramarital relationship is a sin. Are you a fool? Why did you even marry?

Until then, fools should not marry.

Prince & PA Hamilton Ayuk.

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