Friday, January 11, 2008


This guard is wielding his truncheon like that of Mr Odu but he is not Mr Odu

Mr. Odu owns a security company. He patrols round the town to control his workers. He has warned one of his workers that he was going to sack him if he kept leaving thugs to trespass through the hotel they were guarding. On that sad day, he made a trip to supervise that same hotel. Immediately, he saw two gangsters intruding. He waited but the security guard did not say a word. Then he called him and asked him why he has not stopped them. The guard explained that he has warned them several times but they don’t listen. Odu then told him to be creative. “Watch me. They will never come here again. The only language people understand here is ‘do you want to see my gun’”?

He walked to them and asked them to stop. They merely ignored him and kept going. Odu then asked them if they wanted to see his gun. The two riffraffs quickly pulled out two guns each from their pants. Odu then began begging. “Please, I was only joking. I don’t have a gun. Please, search me”. One of the muggers used his gun and hit Odu’s head. Odu screamed and begged him not to kill him. “Please, I have a wife and four kids. Please, they are just like you”. “F..k you! I am from Mexico how can your kids be like me”? “I just meant they are young as you and so they need a dad” Odu explained. The ruffians took a few steps back and Odu crawled again on his knees pleading: “please, search me. I don’t have a gun. I don’t even know how to shoot. Please, come and pass here as you like. I will not stop you again. My boys will not bother you again”. This entreaty won their sympathy. One of them said” Get up and go. Next time don’t ask people if they want to see your gun they gona shoot you dead” the thugs advised him.

Odu got up, walked slowly and sensing he had disappeared from their sight ran into the hotel. He called his security guard “Limpo, Limpo , Limpooooooooooo where have you been that you did not see these muggers making me crawl like a dog. Next time I will fire you. Has it come to this that I am crawling out there and you are relaxing in here? Limpo, is this how you are going to do the security job? Is this how you will leave a customer to be killed?” Odu queried the guard. “Sir what would I have done?” Wondered Limpo. “Shut up!” Odu yelled, gesturing as if to give him a back hand. “You have to prepare to go take gun lessons. Do you hear me? I say do you hear me?” Odu reiterated. “Yes sir!” sheepishly answered Limpo.

Limpo now called the other workers and narrated the story that “I saw two boys threatening Oga with seven guns. I did not go me there. You see, I have a wife and two kids. You would have seen them bossing Oga (boss) all over. They made him to crawl like their dog. They will say chi chi chi shwu shwu shwu and Oga will be following them like a dog on his knees” he exaggerated. Oga will not come here again anytime soon.

True, Odu did not pass there for a long time. Odu did not have a gun because he could not even pass the sighting and shooting range test. So he was just trying to frighten those two young hoodlums. But today I tell you, if you were walking with a Cameroonian’s wife and he asked you if you want to see his gun you should run. I mean run. It is no more a joke. This is real. In most cases too, people who even have guns don’t ask you if you want to see their guns. They just use it. Next time when someone starts telling you to leave them alone, learn to leave them alone. This life is too short and worth more than just hanging on futilities. The second lesson is that when something happens, people will garnish and spice it as they narrate.

Until then, mind who you frighten.

Prince and PA Hamilton Ayuk

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