Tuesday, November 13, 2007

“Pastor, what is Emotional Honesty?”

“Pastor, what is Emotional Honesty?”
Though I am on an internet hibernation I will like to respond as fast as people. If you have an urgent question please call me at 678-368-4762.
Emotional honesty is to tell people how one feels without hiding anything. That means; if you don’t like what your co-worker does, speak it to their face rather than gossip. If you don’t like what your friend is doing rebuke them face to face rather than tell a third party when you have never informed them their action was hurting you. Or perhaps because you don’t want to offend people so you let them continue with their foolishness though you think they need some etiquette.
The world in which we live today does not like people who say what they see. You may be considered rude or Mr. or MS. knows it all. The irony is that every man or woman wants an honest person for a life partner. So if you want an honest person where will they exhibit that honesty if they cannot tell it in your face? I have been young and now I am old but one thing I have learnt is that honesty begets honesty and crookedness begets crookedness. If you are honest you will get honest people around you and if you are dishonest you will get dishonest ones.
One cannot fix what they don’t know is bad. If someone does not know they are hurting you they may never stop hurting you. You may think they should know that but we are different and perceive things differently. What may be offensive to you may not be offensive to the other.
I used to hurt a neighbor without knowing I was hurting her by criticizing the evil in the society until the day I paid her electricity and gas bills when they were cut off. She had five kids with six different men. I mean that there was one kid to whom she attributed two fathers plus the other four known fathers. The kids were frequenting my apartment more than they used to. So I asked them what happened to their house because they have never been that frequent in my house. They told me they cut-off their light. She owed three months of light and gas. I called the light and gas companies and cleared the bills. That is when she came to my house to confess how she could not stand me. You sounded like you don’t like us. With time she realized that I have learnt how to make a dichotomy between philosophy and real life.
Take for example; when I say Americans should not go on missions I do not mean all Americans. I mean those who have never witnessed to their friends and families in the US. Those should not start in a foreign land.
If we would share our emotions with people we may end up realizing that the bulk of the time our inferences have been bad and they have caused a prejudice in our decisions. Indeed many people do not like generalizations but we have to differentiate between a generalized statement and when someone is referring to you as an individual. When I say African women who go abroad end up being fat does not mean all are fat. I mean you will still see the tadpoles. If you are a naturally skinny woman then why worry; why feel bad. If you are fat and you do not feel comfortable with your weight trim down those extra pounds. But except you tell someone how you feel they may never know they are hurting you. You must communicate your emotions exactly as you feel if you want to be happy and be treated fairly. That is emotional honesty!

Until then, may we only meet honest people.

Prince & PA Hamilton Ayuk

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