Sunday, October 21, 2007

Should People sign Pre-Nuptial Agreements?

Marriage is a covenantal union in love sexually administered. Marriage has three aspects: a covenant, a covenant in love and a covenant in love sexually administered. It is a covenant because it is a life and death commitment. The institution of marriage is for love only. Marriage should not be for any other reasons: papers, wealth, payback or contract. “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Gen 2:24). If marriage is thus a bond in love, then it is wrong to sign a pre-nuptial because it augurs an ill omen. The premonition is that divorce is in the corner since there is lack of trust. Why get married in the last place if there is lack of trust? Suspicion is not one of the ingredients of love. Anyone who asks the other partner to sign a pre-nuptial means they did not trust them and do suspect them. Therefore, if there is lack of trust from the beginning,  the two should delay their marriage until they can each prove to be trustworthy. Let me underline a few steps to know a trustworthy person.

Half truth is not one of them. If you want to know someone, ask them the same question about their past several times, and you will know if they keep changing versions. If you were afraid, could you feel safe in their hands? Trust is then built and not inherited, and should not be taken for granted. From the first day you met them, could they surrender their emails and phone contacts to you without being afraid? That is a person you can trust because such individuals have nothing to hide. Nonetheless, it does not mean they are perfect.

When an individual signs a pre-nuptial agreement, they signal their intention to break the covenant at any cost and cause. As you know; when an individual comes up with the idea of pre-nuptial agreement, it means that they think they are better than you, and you are merely patching up with them. Why get married to anyone who thinks he or she is doing you a favor? Why marry anyone who thinks they are more important than you? In all their wealth, they lack love, and that is why they need you. The love you bring supersedes all that they have because all they had could not make them fulfilled. As such, they want you to make them whole. That is what marriage is all about, and all parties should regard each other as an equal rather than despise the other as a parasite. Therefore, if anyone brings the idea of pre-nuptial agreement to you just break up that relationship.

If they suspect your intention, then they should not get married to you, or they should not date you. By accepting their condition, it makes you the inferior party in the covenant and in a covenant no party is more important than the other.

Until then, pre-nuptial agreements are biblically wrong.

Prince & PA Hamilton Ayuk

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