Importation is when an African who lives abroad goes to Africa to bring a spouse. When an African who lives abroad mingles with an African or foreigner, it is called export. If an African from the same country and tribe marries a spouse from that country and tribe, it is called homemade. Africans say they import their spouses sometimes because of home scarcity or low morals and integrity of foreign partners. Exportation dominates the paper market while for lovelily, importation is rampant. Many Africans, especially the men used to go back to Africa to bring their wives. Now the women too have obtained licenses in the import and export business. Before the men had problems with the virtues of foreign women and the insubordination of Africarinas (African woman living abroad). The best of thought was to go home, get a homemade, remote control her so that before she makes you a lovelorn importer, you have raised her status to either a primigravida or a primipara that she is at a point of no return. The first importers succeeded.
Today, it is no longer so. Before these imports come from home, their eyes are shining that after six months on stay, they will be schooling you on driving lessons. She will advise you to stop and buy McDonald if you dare question her why she did not cook, though she was home the whole day.
Most of the imports were far younger than their importers, especially the women for the men. They are still very vibrant, and most of the importers are always out, consumed by their jobs. Secondly, both of them have never even known each other. They went and married them like you go and buy clothes from the market. You are passing, you see a good one, and you ask the Maquida (storekeeper) how much it costs, you buy it and take it home. That is where the Sancho (Mexican term for someone who comes to use your wife when you go to work) comes in, and you are cuckolded. Thirdly, sometimes the women are more beautiful than the men and having crossed their danger river, they start feeling embarrassed appearing in public with them. Fourthly, the imports have already had Africarina friends who will brainwash them to payback the importer for abandoning them (Africarina) in cold, only to cross those oceans for the hotty. That has been doddering slowly into some nuisance. These quizzical anecdotes point towards the passion killings we have experienced in our communities.
Miabintan is a lawyer who went home and brought a boy she wanted to marry. Immediately as the guy realized the woman had filed for his papers, he began saying the woman was old. He spent his time sleeping out with other women. Did you not know she was old before you came?
Bethsaeli; a registered nurse imported her husband. We celebrated it, and six months after the young man says, “she bought me with money. I did not want to marry her.” He did not say all of this when he was in Cameroon; he says it only after when he reached here. Now he sleeps in his sister’s house. Shame to you! If you don’t like a girl, even her papers should not interest you.
Climaxa is a computer specialist who brought his wife here. She quickly found her high school sweetheart, and not long Climaxa became a cuckold husband. The wife and Sancho even made an accident on their way from their love trip. His misnomer now is Jealous Husband.
Tambekong is a retired army who went and married his former student. Two months after she landed, she too was sleeping with an African American that she absconded to his house. Thank God with prayers, she is home now, and they are fine. This case is a miracle. Killing is not a solution. Love is!
Ntuikup was a cab driver who went and brought his wife from home. Thanks to him, she had her legality. Immediately she knew she will have it, she became a bidet for every micturition, teasing every straw she could find out there as if she was starving. I guess the husband has to start asking them if they want to see his gun.
Krankan is a Tires and Wheels dealer. His own import was running around making him a cuckold, until he threatened to take her back home. When she goes to parties, she only dances with other men and may give the man one or two chances on the floor. I wonder if she gives it to him without struggle. The Baboon is working, but it is the monkey that is enjoying. Ichabod! Diettt, like my Bambui dotards used to say.
When I wrote that we must stop treating foreign men and women like this: marrying them to get papers and divorcing as soon as you received your papers, most people berated me for being unrealistic. Folks, it is catching up with us too. Now imports and Africarinas marry you for papers. The question now is what is wrong with foreign women? Why do we want exports for papers only when the imports and homemades do the same thing? I believe a good spouse is a good spouse no matter her/his country, color or status. I am not saying it is the norm, but that should tell us that foreign men and women are as good as those imports and homemades. There is no marriage that is perfect. All can attain happiness with dieing to self.
I know women go home to get married for lack, but the men cannot tell me so too. There are eight women per man in Georgia. If Bitter Kola, Guinness and herbs can’t make you reverberate her heat, then consult a doctor. If your job makes you to constantly be out of the house, then know that that which you fear: cuckold shall befall you. Those younger girls are just too hot for some of you living abroad. The woman will be happy the first weeks she comes with all the foofaraw but after sometimes, she wants both: foofaraw and your presence. Before you know it, she will be interrogating you “did I come here to marry a house”? If you don’t have the strength, marry an older woman or workaholic (the one that works two and a half jobs). So at least you know you have a woman at home. This one would not even bother you if you are alive or dead. You smile don’t you? Let us avert some of these avoidable irritants we are going through now.
Until then, I hope people will make serious reflections before engaging in import and export business. Sawale: the thing wey I di finam na yi go so oh. Sawale.
Prince and PA Hamilton Ayuk